Heather Locklear Booked for Murdering Ray-Bans & Driving Like Mel Gibson
Heather Locklear: Ray-Ban Murderer
Pathetic flea-bag TV actress Heather Locklear was arrested by the California Highway Patrol after she was observed jumping the curb in her car and driving back and forth over a pair of sunglasses like a fucking psycho.
CHP police arrested Locklear on Saturday evening for driving around stoned after they got a call about her going bonkers in Montecito, finally intercepting her on State Road 192, where she had abandoned her car and went to play in traffic.
Rumors immediately began flying in the film industry that Locklear and perpetually shitfaced Mel Gibson were going to cash in on their wanton lifestyles and notoriety by filming a remake of ‘Smokey and the Bandit’ as a cross country demolition derby movie.
“That’s just the way we drive. You got a problem with that? Yeah, asshole? Hey, are you Jewish? Come back here you fucking asshole and I’ll skull fuck you to death,” Gibson told The Stinque.
At least she didn’t jump on the hood of a car like her TJ Hooker costar was known to do.
Nice roots. But she gots teh crazy eyes, I’d hit it. Obviously fun to be around.
@Prommie: Once the drug and alcohol screen or police report comes in (look at Smoking Gun), you could order up a bunch of whatever she’s on for Thursday.
Some people need to execute Plan B and get on with their lives once the music stops.
FCS is demonstrating a wide range of interest.
@Prommie: Most definitely. I’d even bring my own Ray bans, as long as she shared her meds.
Hopefully, the full police report will have interesting details of her going totally Gibson and calling guys, “sugar nuts”.
My bet? Vodka, painkillers and meth.
She gives Meth a Bad Name!
@ManchuCandidate: “Meth, I hear you calling.”
Was that a steel horse she rides?
Where the fuck did all these Ray-Ban ads come from?
@homofascist: And here I thought I’d be the first one to foray into Defamer turf.
NOJO • The Reckoning Four years later: Uhhh, how’d that work out?
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread @nojo: yeah. I had a feeling you’d say that.
NOJO • Hanging by a Thread @JNOV: Haven’t touched a thing — checked it the other day, worked from here. But that’s my…
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread Oh! My edits worked! Praise nojo!
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread Glad you’re feeling sunny. I have my moments which are then squashed by some shitheads’…
NOJO • Hanging by a Thread @nojo: The Long View: 1972: Nixon 61% 1984: Reagan 59% 2004: Bush 51% 2024: Trump 50%…
NOJO • Hanging by a Thread Power is power, but… About 11 million votes remain to be counted. Nate Silver (I know, I know)…
JNOV • The Values We Profess Yeah. So. When my kid came back from basically getting frog-marched from a store downtown (the…
JNOV • The Values We Profess @nojo: We love you! I was thinking, even though we don't truly celebrate x-mas, some people in…
NOJO • The Values We Profess @nojo: Also, I love saying stuff like “heading uptown”. Brooklyn is fun!