Turn Me On, Dead Man
This week in news guaranteed to blow. your. mind. comes word that God is a hermaphrodite.
That’s right. Not just Alpha and Omega, but AC/DC. Innie and outie. Pistil and stamen. Man and, um, man in the boat.
How do we know? After six thousand years, somebody finally thought to read it backwards.
The journal of Reform rabbis published an article this week proclaiming that if the four-letter Hebrew name of God were spelled backward and pronounced it would sound like the Hebrew words for “he” and “she.”
Actually, HWHY sounds like our aunt sneezing, but bear with us.
The reasoning is that since Hashem — Moses’ name spelled backwards — is Hebrew for “The Name”, perhaps God backmasked Himself as well. (“Hashem” is how you refer to He Who Must Not Be Named, roughly equivalent to “gosh” for Christianists.)
And that would suggest that the ancient Israelites saw God as a self-satisfying deity.
We find the whole notion far-fetched, although it was probably handy to fend off nosy neighbors who asked why there wasn’t a Mrs. God.
BRUCE.DESERTRAT • 2026 Election Results Arizona has a Democratic trifecta for the first time since 1966! The former power brokers in the…
NOJO • 2026 Election Results @ManchuCandidate: Oh gawd, forgot that night. This one, while everything was pointing in the right…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • 2026 Election Results I hope that the GOPers understand a little of what black men (and some other minorities) have dealt…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • 2026 Election Results Fuck yeah. Sort of like watching 2010 with Nojo, but way less shitty results. That old witch…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Gawd, you keep missing the target!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! TACO Tuesday. The demented methhead next door blinked. Delay on trade war albeit…
SANFRANLEFTY • TRUMP FINISHES CEASE FIRE AGREEMENT WITH THE AYATOLLAH ! ! ! CHAINSAW!!!!
NOJO • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! @Beggars Biscuit: Yup, still here, if enjoying a long slumber.
BEGGARS BISCUIT • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! The drapery not really covering his name is not a feature, it’s part of the operating system.…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Can't that dumb motherfucker get anything right? Now he's trying to Drill Baby Drill Greenland…