God is My Co-Pilot, and He’s Packing Heat

Preacher Thomas Howell was driving to his Cincinnati church one morning last June when the Devil, assuming the form of restaurant cook April Evans, cut him off at the intersection of Burnet and Forest.

So, inspired by a vengeful God, he did what any man of the cloth would do: Pulled up alongside her, whipped out his pistol, “and asked if she knew who she was messing with before threatening to shoot.”

Apparently she didn’t, as the two cars proceeded to reenact the more exciting parts of The French Connection through the neighborhoods of Clifton, Avondale and Walnut Hills.

“Every time I get in back of him, he would pull the gun out on me and point it towards me and whatever,” Evans testified last week. “He said, ‘You don’t know who I am,’ called me another [name] and said… ‘I’ll shoot you.’ ”

Howell was convicted of aggravated menacing. A spokesangel for the Lord said He was too busy deciding which Olympic athletes to bless, and unavailable for comment.

Preacher guilty of road-rage [Cincinnati Enquirer]
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