It’s Not My Fault
I’m sorry I’m late, but Barack Obama’s opposition to offshore drilling made me miss a turn. This after I waited in line ten minutes for a frappamochamuthafucka, only to discover that Obama’s stance on parental responsibility prevented me from hitting the bank machine first.
I was going to text you, but my cell has sucked ever since Obama’s healthcare policy caused me to drop it in the toilet. And my plans to replace it with a new iPhone were thwarted when Obama’s college tax-credit proposal forced me to attend a Batman matinee instead.
But perhaps I’m being too harsh on myself. Life’s been rough after Obama’s proposed immigration reforms compelled me to sleep with my best friend’s wife. And I know that if not for Obama’s plan to provide affordable broadband coverage across rural America, I’d have been born to different parents.
Anyway, forget all that, I’m here now. Wait — do I know you?
NOJO • A Kind of Hash @peggynooner: The Ems? AAA when I was a kid, single-A as a teen. Old wooden (and recently burned…
PEGGYNOONER • A Kind of Hash @nojo: Not even the Emeralds? In any event, you should be drawn and quartered for admitting you…
NOJO • A Kind of Hash @nojo: Never been to a big-league game, so saw the Yankees with friends last night. Grand slam was…
NOJO • A Kind of Hash @¡Andrew!: Not yet, but I’m sure I can borrow one from a neighbor on the…
¡ANDREW! • A Kind of Hash @nojo: Oh wow! Congratulations on the move. Hope it's going well. I assume that you now have a…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • A Kind of Hash For the Ex-Mo contingent... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1W0pDpDBqE
NOJO • A Kind of Hash @¡Andrew!: Never made it, and too late now — I’ve been in Brooklyn since May.
¡ANDREW! • A Kind of Hash @nojo: So, have you dined at Casa Bonita yet? It seems to be the primary cause of mass insanity in…
¡ANDREW! • A Kind of Hash I hope Taylor Swift figured out a way to unleash her flying monkeys/army of lawyers against Tr666p…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • A Kind of Hash Team Kamala/Walz/Swifty