Subvert the Dominant Paradigm

Oh, the thinks you can think up if only you try! Title: “Dr. Seuss’s Beginner Book Collection”

Author: Dr. Seuss

Rank: 94

Blurb: “A perfect gift for new parents, birthday celebrations, and happy occasions of all kinds.”

Customers Also Bought: “A Light in the Attic” by Shel Silverstein

Review: “Unless you want your kid to pursue a career as a gangster rapper, or become a huge tree hugging liberal, I would stay away from this set of books.” (Squism Chaser)

Other Reviews by Squism Chaser:

“A mature, established, experienced man should have a smell that lets the opposite sex know that yeah, I can still knock around the pool cue a little but I do so on my terms. This cologne says exactly that.” (Euphoria Men by Calvin Klein)

“So, I had this huge problem with my neighbors little York terrier.” (Havahart Live Animal Professional-Style One-Door Raccoon, Groundhog, Opossum, and Stray Cat Cage Trap)

“My story begins with an inner passion and unwavering desire to become a moonshiner.” (15 Gal Stainless Mash Tun w/False Bottom)

“I have never seen a yard go up in flames so quickly!” (Sky Lanterns 14 Pack)

“After I performed the desired chants and had my girlfriend sacrifice a mouse, I managed to open the doors to the next realm.” (Crystal Ball Gazing: The Complete Guide to Choosing and Reading Your Crystal Ball)

“When the fit isn’t perfect it results with me feeling very dirty.” (Depend Protection with Tabs, Maximum Absorbency)

“In order to understand the needs I had for a voice recorder, I believe I should reveal my profession. You see, I am a ghost hunter.” (Sony Digital Flash Voice Recorder)

“I guess it was probably right then, right when I was setting it up when the curse began.” (Chia Barack Obama)

Footnote: Ladies and Gentlemen, Squism Chaser.

Dr. Seuss’s Beginner Book Collection [Amazon]

Buy or Die [Stinque@Amazon Kickback Link]

nojo
7:00 am • Sunday • March 3, 2013
comment »

12 Comments

ManchuCandidate

7:31 am • Sunday • March 3, 2013

Hard to say if he’s serious or not.

Dude would need the cologne if his Depends keep leaking (not that it would help.)

Benedick

8:08 am • Sunday • March 3, 2013

Hilarious. I’m opening book. Does noje have an alter ego?

CaptHowdy

8:47 am • Sunday • March 3, 2013

i like this guy

8:53 am • Sunday • March 3, 2013

@Benedick:
I think noje is his alter ego

noje 47 up, 14 down
(noun): This word is mostly relegated to northeastern Ohio where one man has become somewhat of a cult hero. Jon Somogyi, now known almost exclusively as “The Noje” has accrued a celebrity status beyond his own dreams. Known for public drunkenness, incomparable, dancing, academic misconduct, an obsession with gay male sex, and deep squats, he has become well-known. His history has been put into audio form on the album “The Story of Jon somogyi” by the aptly named “Disciples of Noje.” The Noje is trilingual, speaking English, Latin, and his own language consisting of one word: ba.

9:26 am • Sunday • March 3, 2013

@CaptHowdy: Impressive.

Mistress Cynica

11:33 am • Sunday • March 3, 2013

Amazon reviews as performance art. Impressive.

nojo

2:07 pm • Sunday • March 3, 2013

@CaptHowdy: Known for public drunkenness, incomparable dancing, academic misconduct, an obsession with gay male sex, and deep squats

Yes, No, Yes, No Comment, Yes.

2:48 pm • Sunday • March 3, 2013

@nojo:

officially a disciple