Take My Wealth — Please!

“Mr. Romney’s team has concluded that debates are about creating moments and has equipped him with a series of zingers that he has memorized and has been practicing on aides since August.” —NYT

  • “I don’t get no respect — from 47 percent of Americans!”
  • “That dog don’t bark — because we can’t hear him from the roof carrier!”
  • “What’s the deal with airline windows?”

  • “In Switzerland, money buys you!”
  • “I wouldn’t join a club that would have me — I’d buy it and fire the staff!”
  • “I picked the wrong week to start faking my tax deductions!”
  • “Kolob will get you for that!”
  • “You bet your ten thousand dollars!”
  • “That reminds me of the time my vulture-capital firm bought a healthy company, saddled it with expensive debt, offshored the jobs to Asia, and then kept a healthy management fee when it went bankrupt. Funny story.”
  • “All in all, I’d rather be in the Cayman Islands.”
Before Debate, Tough Crowds at the Practice [NYT]

7 comments:

10:00 am • Monday • October 1, 2012

Jumping Jehovah.

People with no sense of humor or comedic timing shouldn’t do “zingers.”

11:46 am • Monday • October 1, 2012

“Shine my shoes, boy.”

5:55 pm • Monday • October 1, 2012

This is very hard to pull off. As the actress said to the bishop.

I’d suggest that he hires Joan Rivers or Chris Rock as a proxy. I’m cringing already at the thought of Romney getting wild and crazy. Practicing since August: how spontaneous.

I’m really surprised by this, even at this late date. I had no idea that he was so provincial.

8:42 pm • Monday • October 1, 2012

Psst. Kolob is a planet. Okay, it’s not a real planet, but still. Elohim (Adam-God) might get someone. Mormons are Jews, BTW.

The JDubs are using the USPS now. There’s some week-long revival type thing coming up. They’re going to explain the bibble’s prophecies. It’s free, so I might go for the lulz.

8:51 pm • Monday • October 1, 2012

@I’m passing for white: I know. I just like baiting Gen. Christian. Also, I like how it sounds.

10:32 pm • Monday • October 1, 2012

@nojo: Does he swing by? Not sure if he’s MoNoMo or NeverMo, but he is in friggin’ Odgen or Orem or something. I feel for the dude.

11:30 pm • Monday • October 1, 2012

@I’m passing for white: Eastern Washington? Redneck community outside Seattle? Somewhere in your new neighborhood.

And, from the sound of it, MoNoMo. He’s too preoccupied with it to be NeverMo.

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