Attention Whore

Joe the Wife Beater must fucking DIE!

@FlyingChainSaw: Or just bent over a saw horse and rented out for either beating or Anal Pear testing.

@CheapBoy:

I saw a movie like that once.

@Put a Tommmcatt in your tank!: I bet you did.

Hey, the guy needs the money. He probably can’t get hired to snake out toilets any more.

OK, this all makes perfect sense. A known semi-employed or unemployed wife beater who was divorced and seems to have some kind of custody of a child shows up on TV barking about how he was owed an explanation about everything in the universe because he was ready to drop all kinds of money on a business with a hefty six-figure revenue stream. OK, that may mean an at-sale multiple of what? Handy reference mark for sale of going concerns is 3-5 times revenue, so he’s out at $1 million already. He has that kind of cash? Hmmm. Does battered, estranged wifey know? Is he going to get a loan? Banks are gonna have their own wherewithal tests for Joe despite the revenue stream. If he’s talking about that kind of money in hand or assuming in debt, the state would guilty of nonfeasance for not inquiring about the assets he was leveraging to which the child may have some entitlement. The minister who checked out his shit should be given a medal.

@Dodgerblue: It’s more a question of performance anxiety.

No, seriously, he said recently that he can’t be a plumber anymore, because if he screws up then people will say, “That Joe the Plumber, he’s not very good.” Wish I could find the link for that nonsense.

@mellbell: Right, I read it. It’s the left wing media’s fault. What an asshole. If he was so eager to suck his own dick, like Glenn Beck, he should take up yoga.

Another bank failure, this time in the Land of Rptrcub. Very patriotic bank name, Freedumb Bank of Georgia.

@SanFranLefty:

Oh noes. Can American Eagle Jeebus Bank be far behind?

Joe still has nine months to qualify for Best Celebrity Sex Tape Debut in the 2009 Stinque Awards.

@FlyingChainSaw: I’ve known people like Joe. One fancied himself a real estate mogul – rented a big house in a posh neighborhood and bought a nice used Porsche. Threw big parties – I even met a woman there that I wound up dating for several months.

Then one day the Porsche lunched its transmission (as they all eventually do). The guy didn’t have the money to rebuild it or even to get a used one from a junkyard. So the car sat in the circular driveway in front of the house (looking great) but would not move. He skulked in and out of the neighborhood in an old VW Rabbit. Turned out he stayed in the house by overcharging a bunch of roommates to stay there. He’d even told one woman (he could score at will) that he’d bought the lot next door and was going to “develop” it. In the end, of course, it was all falsehoods, half truths, and special effects.

@blogenfreude: The originator who wrote the note for the house should have been forced to marry the guy. Again, underwriting quality turns out to be the cause of most of the problems in the universe.

The important thing here is that it might set a precedent that it’s totally okay to sue anybody who calls you on your bullshit. You have to admit that that would kinda rule.

@FlyingChainSaw: If you’re talking about the guy I mentioned – he didn’t even own the house. He just rented. But if people assumed he owned it, he did nothing to disabuse them of the idea. Similarly with JTP – there probably was no plumbing company, or if there was, he only dreamed of buying it, even if it only cost $250k.

If he wins his lawsuit for “harassment,” or “embarrassment,” the American people should immediately cross-complain, because we have been forced to stare at him for almost a year.

@shortsshortsshorts:

Is there legal precedent to sue for “Ugly”? Or “Fugly”? Or “being a bald muthafucka”? ‘Cuz I will lawyer up on this guy SO fast….

@shortsshortsshorts: My lawyer brain says that because the suit was filed by Judicial Watch, it’s probably without merit. I also think that if he’s suing those people individually, their defense will be that they were acting in their official capacity and are thus immune. OTOH, if there are specific laws and regs that were violated, he has a shot, but his best defendant would have been the state of Ohio. So, on balance, the suit is probably shit. But who knows ….

@blogenfreude: The state as an entity would probably have the 11th Amendment as a defense and the individual employees have qualified immunity if they were doing it within their official duties and had a reason to look (i.e. I try to forget everything associated with his douche, but didn’t an ex-wife surface and say he was a deadbeat? That’s all the grounds they need).
This isn’t like UCLA nurses pulling up Britney Spears’ medical records.

And I note the irony of the Judicial Watch right wing pig fuckers suddenly giving a shit about privacy rights, you know, one of those penumbra rights.

@SanFranLefty: Who knows? I’d have to do a half-day of research to sort that shit. Westlaw would name a database after me.

@shortsshortsshorts: @Put a Tommmcatt in your tank!: I’m sure we have a claim for Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress.

@SanFranLefty:

Well freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose-

or so the song goes…

@FlyingChainSaw: Going small businesses that are extremely owner-labor intensive, its more like the price is equal to one year’s gross. Depending on profit margin, of course. Basically, the cost can’t exceed the amount of money you would earn by simply investing the money, otherwise, why buy the fucker? The business I am looking at, I am thinking of taking an entrepenuerial leap, I would be able to net maybe 15% of gross. But since I am planning to finance a lot of start-up, I am not going to do it unless the net can pay the cost of the financing and pay me a decent profit, so, that sets the parameters of what I am willing to risk pretty cleanly.

Joe, he is a moron, he doesn’t know the difference between net and gross, I think.

@nojo: I can see him doing MMF three-ways with John Wayne Bobbit and Starr Fluffcushions within a year, no doubt.

@blogenfreude: No, no, no, that dude you know was worlds more functional than JTP. He couldn’t even pull that off. He’s so completely pathetic, the only thing more pathetic was him standing up McCain that day at that rally where McCain actually introduced him, and stood there, oops, he’s not here.

I mean, thats total loser, Gee, I am an average fucktard suddenly sucked into a presidential campaign and given (no matter how incredibly stupid that whole idea was) a prominent place, and he just totally fails to show up at a nationally televised event where the republican presidential candidate was waiting for him. Oh, I overslept. LOSER.

I have known guys like JTP. They take deposits for minor home renovations, then never show, because they got picked up for child support arrearages and are in jail. Thats JTP.

His lawsuit will get nowhere, by the way.

Hey you trial lawyers out there, how much would you like to cross JTP? I mean, its the stupid ones who totally destroy themselves, this guy would be a treat, a pleasure, to cross. I should add, its the stupid ones who think they are smart who are a pleasure to cross. They are amazed that they can’t bullshit their way out of answering a question when they are on the stand. It is the most fun you can have as a lawyer to have a jackass like this on the stand.

So, Mr. JTP, you didn’t actually have a plumbers license, correct?

And the fact that you didn’t was public record, correct?

So you are suing these people because they made public the public fact that you were not a plumber?

Exactly how is it that your embarrasment over having your claim to be a plumber exposed as a lie is the fault of these people?

After the CNBC beatdown on the Daily Show, CNBC finally replied.

“Waaahhh, he’s obsessed with meeeeee!”

Considered the worst comeback ever.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/03/06/cnbc-jon-stewart-response_n_172654.html

BTW. I was thinking today…. Limbaugh. Been married three times. But no tell-alls from ex wifeys. Wouldn’t you think someone would have made a substantial offer for tell-all on Limbavian mating habits, etc? So what? Divorce settlements that guarantee silence? You realize that I have nothing on which to base this but conjecture but I refuse to let that stop me. It never stopped Rush.

BTW. What the fuck kind of name is that? Is it short for Rushdooney or what?

@Promnight:
I think Joe in court would be as bad as his confrontation with the Israeli reporter and would go something like it:

JOE: The lawsuit here is people are being humiliated by the LAW and the media’s slanting it and trying to make it Libruls are, uh, as far as, that Joe the Plumber’s being bad. Do you believe Joe is bad?
LAWYER: Do I believe it?
JOE: Yeah, do you?!
LAWYER: I’m just a lawyer, so…
JOE: So answer the question!
LAWYER: No, I don’t think Joe is bad.
JOE: Do you think Joe has every right to protect himself?
LAWYER: Yeah.
[pause]
JOE: You do?!
LAWYER: Yeah.
JOE: Have you said that in court?
LAWYER: I’m just a lawyer.

@Benedick:
Sharon Stone and J-Lo have silence clauses in their divorce settlements. Of course, it doesn’t mean that THEY keep silent. Just their exes.

@Benedick: Yeah, its amazing what a couple of million will buy, I am sure that if any of them tried to tell all, he has their balls in a vice.

You know that one of his marriages was officiated by Clarence Thomas? Wonder how long that one lasted.

Its the fucking stupid, I know, stupid has always been with us, but in our society now, I think we have reached a point unprecedented in Human History, in which stupid is revered and glorified, and intelligence is villified and hated. Its, well, fucking depressing.

@Promnight: My point is that he gets away, in large part, with his act. Sure he gets served with papers a lot and doesn’t show up for important shit, but I’m betting a pretty decent percentage of the country sees him as just a normal guy, trying to better himself. That’s why it’s crucial to catch him doing something so stupid that, if publicized, will render him mute.

On the other hand, Vitter got caught, and it hasn’t silenced him even a little.

@blogenfreude: These is interesting times, ain’t they? We elect a black president, after a disastrous republican president, that alone is enough to make a large number of batshit racists and conservatives completely lose their marbles. On top of that, it happens during an economic crisis that has everyone on earth shaking in their boots. And a crisis which has swung the general tone of american popular opinion away from the republican view that government is evil and unfettered capitalism is great.

The conservative movement and the republicans and the hate radio fringe, they are seriously out of their minds, panicked, casting about left and right for a message, a way to be relevant, and they can’t come up with shit, they are flailing, and yup, they are so in disarray that fucking circus clowns like JTP actually get notice from them. I mean, come on, this is sad. I miss Bob Dole, he was at least halfway dignified.

This is a flaming tailspin we are watching, we should not bemoan it as a sign of a degraded times, we should celebrate it as a sign of a degraded political party.

@Benedick: It’s alleged he marries occasionally to draw attention from the alleged fact that he flies to the Caribbean regularly to have sex with 4- and five-year old boys before killing and eating them. Any conversation this freak has with a female begins with the presentation of a contract.

@blogenfreude: I think a large part of the country just ignores him. Certainly those in the business of serving dreck to idiots do.

Joe does not have his own radio show, nor one on Fox. He does not seem to be a regular guest anywhere — we only hear about him when he turns up in the oddest places. He couldn’t even get folks to buy his book when CPAC was in town.

Instead, we hear about him being a “correspondent” for a wingnut website only other wingnuts know about, and see him as a hilariously inept pitchman for an online DTV conversion-box retailer.

Point being: If Joe had any traction, we’d see him in more prominent places more frequently. But we don’t, since was always a disposable prop, and even the propmasters have no further use for him. Joe the Plumber makes a lousy tool.

@nojo: Next, he’ll have to turn on his sponsors to get attention. “Coulter has a dick! I saw it! Yeah, yeah, when Coulter came on to me in the parking lot after the CPAC convention. Yeah, that’s right. Rush has a harem of four-year old Dominican boys that he regularly replenishes because he eats them when they turn five.”

Wait, is that a picture of Billy Gibbons behind him?