Okay, fine, that’s a coplutocrat from Mitt’s salad days at Bain Capital sucking down the legal tender. We’ve just never seen Mitt so, y’know, comfortable with himself.

[via Political Wire]

On this Columbus Day weekend, The Management would like to take a moment to celebrate American Exceptionalism.

Ohio: “Beards, Hair Cut Off In Amish-On-Amish Attacks: Members of a group of families disavowed by mainstream Amish have cut the beards off men and the hair off a half-dozen or more men and women, Jefferson County Sheriff Fred Abdalla said. He said the cutting apparently was meant to be degrading.” [AP]

Florida: “On Monday, Rep. Ritch Workman, R-Melbourne, filed HB 4063 to repeal the law. He says he doesn’t condone the dwarf tossing but he thinks the prohibition takes away freedoms and is against the American way… A representative of the Little People of America said the group hasn’t had time to study the bill but he raised concerns about the safety of people with dwarfism being thrown.” [Florida Current]

New Mexico: “A grocery store worker accused of handing out a semen-tainted yogurt sample at an Albuquerque market pleaded guilty Thursday. Under terms of his plea agreement, Anthony Garcia admitted he tainted a sample of the yogurt he was handing out at Sunflower Market in January. He also admitted putting some of his semen on a plastic spoon that he placed with the yogurt.” [AP, via JNOV]

Is Chris Christie too fat to be president? [Yahoo]

Our guest columnist is the attorney for Kaye Beach, a good Christian woman from Norman, Oklahoma.

On March 8, 2011, Ms. Beach attempted to apply for a renewal driver’s license at Fusion Tag Agency, a motor license agent of the Defendant Oklahoma Department of Public Safety (“DPS”), in Norman, Cleveland County, Oklahoma.

Notwithstanding her satisfaction or ability to satisfy any other relevant requirements for obtaining a renewal driver’s license, Ms. Beach’s attempt to apply was rejected by the DPS agent Fusion Tag Agency.

The DPS agent informed Ms. Beach it was required by law to take a high-resolution digital facial photograph, and that she could not apply for or obtain a renewal license without allowing the DPS agent to capture her biometric facial photograph or fingerprints.

Ms. Beach requested and was denied an accommodation on account of her sincerely held religious beliefs and religiously motivated practice, which are more fully set forth below…

Read more »

In the course of background research for a recent post — always check spelling! — we discovered one of the most delightful automated interactive features we’ve stumbled across in quite some time.

Oddly, you don’t get the delightful feature for fuck, shit, cocksucker, or twat. But happily, “hornswaggle” is as great a word to know as muff.

Poontang [Dictionary.com]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_fHCh_bARGo

[via Comics Alliance]

We probably have a detail wrong, but as we recall it, we were at the babysitter’s after school one afternoon, when her teenage daughter suddenly jumped from the couch:

“Did you hear that?! They just bleeped Merv Griffin!”

At this late date, we should explain that Merv Griffin had an afternoon talk show, featuring trumpeter Jack Sheldon, whose popular claim to fame is singing “I’m just a bill.” We should also explain that in the 1960s, bleeping was extremely rare — this was only a few years after Jack Paar walked off the Tonight Show because NBC censored a “water closet” joke.

So that’s our historical baseline: Bleeping is naughty. Bleeping is so naughty, it’s good for shits & giggles by its very nature. And to our arcane taste, the Daily Show and South Park are more amusing when they’re bleeped — and more interesting on those special occasions when they’re not.

As proof of concept, we present scenes from an execrable cartoon that’s suddenly hilarious when just a smidgen of audio spice is added.

[via Know Your Meme]