Now that io9 has spilled the brains on our open-source Zombie Bible, let’s have a look at everyone else we’re beating to market:
In this first installment of the Illustrated Zombie Bible Classics series, Moses handles two zombies with his staff and his .45 while parting the waters of the Red Sea.
The Bible may be the foundation document of Western Civilization, but it hasn’t been revised in almost two millennia.
Frankly, we’re astonished that anyone can still make sense of it.
Even the majesty and poetry of the King James version sounds archaic to modern ears. Modern translations, on the other hand, just sound lame.
What’s missing? Zombies.
Sure, you can argue that our omniscient Creator saw that one coming — for what is the Resurrection but a Zombie story? What is Revelation but the greatest Zombie movie ever made? How can we even think of the End Times without Zombies?
Well, we can’t. And that’s why we’ve created the Stinque Zombie Bible.
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @ManchuCandidate: Summer definitely disappeared.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 BTW, has your favorite fundies gone to Ratpure?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Come on dude shut your mouth. Shut your mouth Never like to hear I take bribes Won't you please…
BURR DEMING • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Thank you for this, nojo. He was a wonderful talent and, by all accounts, a wonderful human…
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh, and there’s a Catholic church across the street. Maybe I can do a little dance for them!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Now that I’m in NYC, plenty of pigeons to poison in his honor.
NOJO • All the Vice President's Men 2025 update: Nothing happened. And here we are!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Weeping Angel Imagine going from hope to Fascism in less than two decades enabled by greedy ass (millionaire)…
NOJO • Nightmare at the Museum From the last time he threatened to bomb Iran, 2020. Remember that one? All a misty blur now.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: I have birthright citizenship in Cascadia, so I think I’m good.