Title: “Give Us Liberty: A Tea Party Manifesto”

Authors: Dick Armey and Matt Kibbe

Rank: 45

Blurb: “This groundbreaking manifesto is essential reading for tea party activists — or any American seeking to understand what the Tea Party is fighting for and what’s next for the movement.”

Review: “A WORD OF CAUTION: If you join the Tea Party movement and begin speaking out and taking action to defend our US Constitution, there is a very high chance that those who call themselves progressives (who fight to remove our Constitutional rights) will become offended. And because they don’t have a high regard for following laws, (because they equate liberty with the freedom from moral discipline), there is a high chance that they will treat you in the same way they treat conservative politicians and they will try to accuse you falsely of wrong doing. They will lie about you and perhaps call you a racist. All of these things are meant to harm your reputation.”

Customers Also Bought: “The Post-American Presidency: The Obama Administration’s War on America,” by Pamela Geller and Robert Spencer.

Footnote: You forgot the “Or”.

Give Us Liberty [Amazon]

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Title: “Hitch-22: A Memoir”

Author: Christopher Hitchens

Rank: 82

Blurb: “If Hitchens didn’t exist, we wouldn’t be able to invent him.” (Ian McEwan)

Review: “Many reviews and articles about Hitch 22 will focus on the Hitchens’ statements about the high degree of homosexual activity that he says existed in the boarding schools he attended. His claims (which I have no logical reason to doubt) seem pretty stunning to me, a small town boy from the midwest.”

Customers Also Bought: “Everyday Drinking: The Distilled Kingsley Amis”.

Footnote: That dead kid in Iraq will see you in Hell, Hitch.

Hitch-22 [Amazon]

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Title: “Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void”

Author: Mary Roach

Rank: 24

Blurb: “What happens to you when you can’t walk for a year? have sex? smell flowers? What happens if you vomit in your helmet during a space walk?”

Review: “I loved Roach’s Stiff, but Spook — not as much, so skipped Bonk.”

Customers Also Bought: “The Book of Vice: Very Naughty Things (and How to Do Them)”.

Footnote: To date, nobody has been documented joining the 186-Mile-High Club.

Packing for Mars [Amazon]

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Title: “The Kobold Wizard’s Dildo of Enlightenment +2 (an adventure for 3-6 players, levels 2-5)”

Author: Carlton Mellick III

Rank: 6,574

Blurb: “If anyone out there is reading this, I need your help. I am trapped within a really terrible Dungeons and Dragons campaign and I can’t find my way out. My player is a horny 14 year old loser who won’t stop forcing me to have sex with slutty elf chicks instead of going on quests.”

Review: “This book is an awesome parody of all those caffeinated nights playing Dungeons and Dragons when you were fourteen.”

Customers Also Bought: “Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere,” by Mykle Hansen.

Footnote: We didn’t play D&D, but we knew people who did. And we were very, very frightened of them. Mainly because we feared being assimilated.

The Kobold Wizard’s Dildo of Enlightenment [Amazon]

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Title: “Transformation: The Mindset You Need. The Body You Want. The Life You Deserve”

Author: Bill Phillips

Rank: 18

Blurb: “A self-described ‘teacher, student, servant and part-time comedian,’ Bill encourages, enlightens, and endears his many readers and community followers at his transformation website.”

Review: “He barely touches on food and exercise, and instead spends a large part of the book discussing positive thinking, and a lot of absolute nonsense. He actually spends a full page or two saying that if you think happy thoughts while you cook, that it is somehow PROVEN to make the food more nutritious than the exact same food prepared without thinking ‘happy thoughts’.”

Customers Also Bought: “The Natural Testosterone Plan: For Sexual Health and Energy”

Footnote: That cover photo frightens the hell out of us.

Transformation [Amazon]

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Title: “The Obama Diaries”

Author: Laura Ingraham

Rank: 5

Blurb: “Major media outlets love to describe the president as ‘no drama Obama,’ but The Obama Diaries tells a different tale. Through these ‘diary entries,’ readers will see past the carefully constructed Obama façade to the administration’s true plans to ‘remake America.'”

Sample Entry: Michelle on being First Lady: “I’ll be damned if all this fabulosity is going to go to waste reading Dr. Seuss to snot-nosed kids all day.” (January 23, 2009)

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Title: “Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality”

Author: Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethá

Rank: 32

Blurb: “Since Darwin’s day, we’ve been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species… Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is.”

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