Animal Husbandry

Life got you down? Country swirling around the drain? Planet about to finally fulfill the promise of Seventies apocalyptic movies? We have a cure for what ails ya.

The Rodent of Destiny.

Okay, there’s a cheat here — it’s a ceramic squirrel. Kinda spoils the fun, doesn’t it?

Or not:

A South Carolina woman was held on a domestic abuse charge for allegedly stabbing her common-law husband with a decorative ceramic squirrel when he came home late on Christmas Eve without any beer.

Now that’s journalism: A sentence that could have happily ended after “squirrel”, but continues for three additional clauses, each topping the last. We’ve seen entire movies with less story.

[via Know Your Meme]