Apocalypse Predictions, Rated

The Omega Man

Prediction: The last man on Earth defends himself against all the other last men on Earth.

Rating: 8/10. Yeah, the Night People are a bitch, but casually hopping from sportscar to sportscar as you drive wildly down the desolated Los Angeles streets is awesome.

Logan’s Run

Prediction: Everyone is killed when they turn 30.

Rating: 1/10. Boomers turned it the other way around.

The Road Warrior

Prediction: On a desolate planet lacking liquid resources, survivors band together to claim what they can.

Rating: 7/10. We’re not going down without awesome tunes.

Night of the Living Dead

Prediction: People turn into mindless zombies, attacking those still unaffected.

Rating: 3/10. Turns out they’re all Karens.

Soylent Green

Prediction: Mmmm, human protein.

Rating: 5/10. At least it’s not tofu.

Beneath the Planet of the Apes

Prediction: Subterranean humans worship atomic bomb, leading to Earth’s destruction.

Rating: 2/10. We should be so lucky it happens in a snap.

A Boy and His Dog

Prediction: Infertile underground humans use a milking machine to harvest Don Johnson’s nuts.

Rating: 8/10. Dude.

The Wizard of Oz

Prediction: The beautiful, colorful world is all a dream, and we’re still stuck in Kansas.

Rating: 10/10. Nailed it.