Don’t Look

It was this or Clockwork Orange.

We’re hearing that tonight’s debate might reach Super Bowl/MASH/alien invasion territory, tempting your attention even if you’d prefer to ignore it. How can you not watch a showdown between a Charlatan Buffoon and Triangulating Technocrat — okay, fine, Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich — moderated by an amiable guy who’s been instructed to be even less intrusive than Jimmy Fallon?

But if you are tempted, heed our warning:

Don’t look at it! Shut your eyes! Don’t look at it, no matter what happens!

We cannot be held responsible for your face melting away in anguish as you slowly realize that a man who in any just world would be laughed off the stage will be heralded as Preznidential because his belligerent ignorance appeals to half of your fellow citizens.

But should your fingers remain miraculously intact, you’re invited to our Debate Open Thread/Closing Time. Whatever happens, you’ll want to get a head start on being shitfaced drunk the next four years.


I’m afraid there’s not enough alcohol or medical marijuana in the world to get me through tonight.

Sully and I are on the same page…

Dear Dishheads,

Just a heads up that I’ll be liveblogging the debate tonight – and will take a Xanax beforehand.

For those of you who can’t bear to watch, read the liveblog!

For those prepared to watch the republic crumble in real time, join me!

Double bonus points for the highly relevant jpg accompanying this post.

I wish that I had something constructive to add, other than the fact that since one of these greedy, sadistic psychopaths is gonna be the next president, no one would judge you for loading up on your drug of choice.

Vape ’em if you got ’em. Never been more grateful for legal MJ.

@¡Andrew!: The dispensary was unusually busy for a Monday afternoon. Starting with a G&T while I re-load my vape pen.
Anyone else nervous as a whore in church.

Trump is sounding like he emptied the pharmacy.

“I know you live in your own reality, Donald”

Hillary’s sat through enough Congessional committees to know how to play this.

“Let’s talk about race.”

/loading vaporizer

@SanFranLefty: Trying to reload the vape pen with the dripper that is the only container CBD oil comes in, I managed to squirt 50 dollars of cannabis oil on my favorite linen T shirt.

@Mistress Cynica: nobody would judge if you made a tea soaking said linen shirt.

Frank Luntz focus group calling it 17-3 Hillary.

Frank Fucking Luntz, people.

Final call: 16-6, Hillary.

Who is Tara? And why are we so focused on her?

Well! Stand down Red Alert, everyone.

I am really looking forward to Anderson Cooper’s town hall style debate now.

If the ratings aren’t through the roof, my friends and I are (very minutely) to blame. Watched it at a beloved dive bar (the kind that serves Schlitz tallboys) with five friends and about a hundred strangers.

So… basically a pneumonia filled zombie granny just beat the living intellectual, mental and emotional shit out of Charlie Sheen if he were a puffy faced, bad tanner coated loon.

And neither thrown chairs nor oops-too-late, beeped-out obscenities. There’s now 100 million srsly disappointed people out in teevee land.

80 million TV plus uncounted streaming (Hi!) is the latest number. Officially tops Carter-Reagan, but without the existential dread that followed.

@nojo: Just wait til Trump’s post-debate poll numbers go up.

@¡Andrew!: That might be when I throw in the towel. With Carter-Reagan, you could see that Reagan was a charlatan, but in the same moment understand his appeal — at least to My Fellow Idiots.

That’s been my touchstone ever since, and I didn’t detect a whiff of that last night — except for the first few minutes before Trump’s tranqs wore off, and he sounded sufficiently human not to frighten the natives. (And thus my fear that a Kinder, Gentler Demagogue would easily run away with the country, especially against Yet Another Demrat Wooden Orator.)

If, despite that manifest humiliation, Trump’s polls take off, we might as well shut down the joint. Even Nixon may have been thoroughly evil, but he wasn’t stupid.

/In good news/

Finally! A reason to keep hanging on:

Neon Trees – Sleeping with a Friend

Best song that I’ve heard in ages, and I discovered it on the Me Him Her film soundtrack of all places. Fantastic!

@¡Andrew!: Catchy. My favorite pop song of the last year or so is this. I simply cannot feel down when that is playing.

@¡Andrew!: Or if you’re in the mood for something relaxing/dreamy, this is great. Shazam’d it while out shopping somewhere (Target?) and later discovered that the video really packs a punch.

@mellbell: Cute! I bet you’d love this song on which I recently became hooked:

Ingrid Michaelson – Girls Chase Boys

Don’t laugh, it takes me awhile for me to hear about what the kidz are listenin’ to these dayz.

@¡Andrew!: Great song, even better video. We’re on the same wavelength here. And yeah, I tend to pick up on pop music from movies, commercials, in-store soundtracks, etc. far after everyone else does. But my oldest sister is even more out of touch, so I’m still the cool/hip younger sister in her eyes, which is what really counts. :)

The AZ Republic endorsed Clinton. It must be Topsy Turvy Day.

@JNOV: Gary Johnson has received more editorial endorsements than Trump.

@JNOV: Can you even imagine what life is like now for the person that answers the customer service line at the Dallas Morning News after they endorsed Hillary Clinton? They don’t make a nerve pill strong enough.

@¡Andrew!: I answered the local-paper circulation phone in college. Compared to complaints about wet newspapers, angry readers would be a breeze.

@nojo: The Dallas paper has a number just for people speaking in tongues.

@mellbell: Ahhh presidential debate memories – didn’t you and I watch the Palin v. Biden debate at a bar in Dupont Circle together in 2008 when I had a bunch of west coast public defenders in tow with me? And then someone got really drunk (not me) and pulled a fire alarm and Cutie McCutie DC firefighters showed up to re-set the alarm?


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