All in the taint.

Our guest columnist is “John Miller”, who totally isn’t Donald Trump, really, why would you even think that, speaking on the phone to People reporter Sue Carswell in 1991.

Short Fingers are the Ultimate Aphrodisiac

I think that he’s got a whole open field really. A lot of the people that you write about, and you people do a great job, by the way, but a lot of the people that you write about really are — I mean, they call. They just call. Actresses, people that you write about just call to see if they can go out with him and things.

I’ll Have What Mick’s Having

What she was having a very big thing with Mick Jagger. And then what happened, she was going with Eric Clapton, and Eric Clapton introduced her to Mick Jagger, and then Mick Jagger started calling her, and she ended up going with Mick Jagger. And then she dropped Mick Jagger for Donald, and that’s where it is right now.

Like a Surgeon

Madonna was in the room, and so somebody from Madonna’s entourage, because she comes in with an entourage of dancers and everything else, and somebody from Madonna’s entourage came over and said, “Would you go over and say hello to Madonna?” And so he went over and said hello to Madonna and he gave his autograph to the dancers. She said, “These are fans” and all this. “Will you give them the autograph?” So he said, “Best wishes” or something. And then all of a sudden — and that was the end. And then he said goodbye to her and that was literally the end. He’s got zero interest in Madonna. It was literally the end…

Well, she called and wanted to go out with him, that I can tell you.

My Rich Girlfriend’s Rich Father is Rich

This is I think an interesting point. Carla is a very beautiful girl from Italy whose father is one of the wealthiest men in Europe.

Jewel of Denial

Well, it was never an engagement ring, because that was my first question. It was never an engagement ring. It was a ring — I mean, he wouldn’t buy the engagement ring. Actually, he bought the ring at the Taj Mahal at Tiffany’s. The only place that Tiffany’s has that, you know, in a hotel is because of his relationship with Tiffany being the neighbor next door to Trump Tower and Tiffany decided to open up a store at the Taj Mahal. And this was a way of giving Tiffany some business in addition to getting Ivan— geting Marla something that would be nice.

The Sanctity of Marriage

When he meets the right woman, it’s going to be a great relationship and it’s going to be a very, you know, because he believes strongly in the marriage concept. In all fairness, he was married for 12 years and he was happily married for 12, you know, for many of those years, I guess, and he believes in it, especially in this society today, I can tell you. But he believes in it.

Transcript: The full text of ‘John Miller’ interview about Donald Trump with People reporter [WaPo]

I fucking loathe this shitstain of humanity almost as much as the mouthbreathing cretins who support him.

The book Trump needs to write is: “The Art of Dating Third-Tier Models.”

On his VP short list includes short bus ex-VP candidate and Quitter Supreme, Sarah Palin.

Dumb and Dumber.

In much happier news, our gal Michelle O was a total knockout in a sassy, peach evening gown at the Nordic state dinner. Wow!

Drumpf’s interview with dick Piers Morgan shows he is a real life Otto (A Fish Called Wanda)

@ManchuCandidate: Except Otto was much more charming (and undoubtedly better in bed) than Drumpf.

Two weekends ago Mr. SFL and I watched A Fish Called Wanda for no other reason than to watch Otto scream “ASSSSS-HOOOOOLLLLEEE” the way I do incessantly on the streets of Ess Eff to idiot Uber/Lyft drivers, and damn if it didn’t make me start crying, because I remembered that it was the favorite movie of all time for our crazy/sweet dear Stinquer baked.

She loved the film almost as much as she did her furbabies.

Trump is also pretty mean to Chris Christie (prommie’s fav gubbiner.)

@ManchuCandidate: Also on his VP short list? Jan Brewer.

Gawd, I’ve never wanted to see anything more in my life. How can I make this happen?!!?

@ManchuCandidate: When bullies bully bullies.

Try saying that five times fast.

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