Other Omens of the Apocalypse

“It’s a trap!”

Nothing more than running like hell after things go to Drumpf.

I’m so glad Carly is back in the news so I can re-watch the Demon Sheep ad

@SanFranLefty: Most people would prefer to jump off the Titanic.

@nojo: Boehner saying “Lucifer in the Flesh” while on the Farm yesterday still has me practically pissing myself laughing.

@SanFranLefty: I would love to have drinks with Boehner and Lindsey Graham right now. Bitchez are gettin real.

Boehner’s on a roll, but I’ll wait for everyone to catch up before saying more.

@nojo:
Devil With A Big Smirk!

A thought passed through my head this morning listening to NPR that Cruz might give up his Senate seat after he loses the nomination. Is this a crazy thought?

@DElurker: It being Texas, his replacement wouldn’t likely be much better. In which case, I would hope he’s defeated rather than quit, just for the smallest slice of schadenfreude.

I’m just plugging my ears and going, “LALALALALALALA” throughout this weird shit.

I’ll write this – yesterday I was driving south on 5, and about 20 miles north of Vancouver, WA, I saw a sign for an NDN rez followed by a sign for another fucking thing named “Pioneer Blahblahblah” followed by a HUGE Trump sign. HUGE. Depressing trifecta of bullshit.

At least now we know who was on the grassy knoll.

@nojo: I am afraid that it will be a slice so small you could read through it. It would be too much to hope for it to hook left (apologies for the sports analogy)

Cruz lose, turn to booze.

He had no choice but to drop out after The Don Don spilled the beans about Rafael assassinating JFK. No one can prove he didn’t do it.

So now what?

@JNOV: Nothing’s changed from a couple months ago. Trump has long been the winner; everything else is noise.

Now we wait for the first state-by-state Trump/Hillary polls, and see how the electoral map looks. But might be another six or eight weeks for that.

Cruz is due for an unusually awkward Trump endorsement speech.

@¡Andrew!: Trump has his vanquished opponents’ nuts mounted in his den.

There is already talk of 2020 for Cruz with references to St Ronnie. I wonder if he will start showing signs of dementia to make it more realistic?

And now it’s buhbye K-suck.

So, which shit-for-brains will The Don Don choose as his VP/human shield hostage?

I can totally picture Trump VP Christie addressing the teevee audience with his desperate Help Me eyes and a cocked revolver to his head.

@¡Andrew!: Maybe. I don’t think he has to choose a southerner. NY and NJ: Perfect Together.

Road sign near Chehalis, WA (I think it was an old drive-in movie theater marquee – it had those funky plastic bendy letters):

It’s Your Choice:
Murder and Beheadings
or a Secure Border.

Fucking Canadians.

It’s Native New Yorker vs. Carpetbagging New Yorker this fall.

@JNOV: Just wait til they unleash their pet walruses.

Christie is also first in line for a presidential pardon for FSM-only knows whatever one does to govern Nu Joyzee these days.

@¡Andrew!: Coo coo ca choo, eh?

@¡Andrew!: And yeah – I think my baby bro will be moving his family from AC to out here in a year or so. His GF is afraid of water and bridges, so that might be a problem.

@nojo: Burnout Baby Bro was in your neck of the woods for 4/20.

Somewhat related – brother and I went to the new local frou fucking frou recreational pot joint. (Apologies.) I don’t know if my town gets a cut of the profits from the copious amount of top shelf and reasonably priced product, but I hope it does. It might turn this place around, or it could turn into another AC where the casino taxes were ridiculously low and went to North Jersey. AC was never fabulous, but it was a blue-collar vacation spot with free beaches (most of NJ’s require beach tags).

ETA: AC beaches are still free, but the locals kinda got kicked off and moved to the inlet between Absecon Island and Brigantine.

@¡Andrew!: Trump / Kim Kardashian! She has yuuuuge ASSets she can bring to the ticket, not to mention the Armenian-American SoCal voting block.

Hillbot’s new Donald attack ad piecing together all of the Republicans shitting on Trump is pretty good.

@SanFranLefty: Despite the great ad, I think Hillbot will lose to Drumpf. Can we repeal the 22nd Amendment before June?

@SanFranLefty: I think she can lose, and the cork-popping on Twitter is a tad premature. But it’s too soon to worry about updating my passport. Nobody knows anything yet.

@SanFranLefty: Isn’t that the same tactic the #NeverTrump crowd tried that directly resulted in massive Trump victories?

@nojo: Never underestimate the Demonrats’ compulsion to self-destruct. Their kamikaze mission to install a Clinton/Goldmine Sacks kleptocracy sure isn’t doing us any favors.

@¡Andrew!: #NeverTrump thought they were reaching Reasonable Republicans, a species that hasn’t existed since before Saint Ronnie.

Hillary, on the other hand, is preaching to the Demrat Choir, which she needs to do since turnout is her only hope of winning.

You have to presume that Trump voters won’t sit out the General. Too soon to presume anything about anybody else.

Scott Adams of Dilbert fame posted the best analysis of the ad, and the fatal flaws with Clinton’s campaign.

Trump’s proposition is that the establishment is a bunch of useless losers and he can do better. The ad shows Trump being opposed by… a bunch of useless losers on the Republican side. Trump annihilated every one of them. And it wasn’t even hard.

1. The ad lumps Clinton with the losing Republican candidates. They all share a dislike of the presumptive Republican nominee. Do they belong to the same club of establishment politicians who are ruining the country?

2. The ad shows that Trump is disliked by the Republican establishment. But that is his appeal, not his flaw. Trump already “fired” the losers in the video who are attacking him. Do you believe anything you hear from a disgruntled employee who just got fired?

3. When you remind viewers how many big-name politicians Trump has defeated, it makes him seem stronger.

4. Democrats, independents, and even some Republicans will see that Trump is an “enemy of their enemy” and bond to him.

On an emotional level, I experienced a wave of pity for Clinton while watching the ad. I mean that literally. Her advisers seem blind to the tools of persuasion. Other people who were blind to Trump’s powers of persuasion include Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, Jeb Bush, and Carly Fiorina.

None of them will be your next president.

@¡Andrew!: Yeah…I was thinking something similar. Trump supporters see a parade of sore losers whining.

Wow. I thought that Trump Taco #ILoveHispanics FB business was fake. Apparently not.

Hey – just finished the most recent season of “The Walking Dead.” SPOILER ALERT IF YOU’RE A SLOW AS I AM…

Who got the shit kicked out of themselves at the end? My guess is one of the Saviors.

@JNOV: It’s impossible now to know what is true and what is satire. I had to check Snopes on the Ben Carson as VP search committee head story. They better beef up their staff and IT infrastructure for the traffic coming their way in the next 6 months.

@SanFranLefty: Perhaps you and Mr SFL should spend election night with us. If we leave as soon as they call FL and OH, we can make it to the Canadian border before sunrise the next morning. We’ll pick up the Andrews and JNOV on the way.

@Mistress Cynica: It’s mentally exhausting having to come up with a multiple route escape plan every four years, along with supplies and how much of each currency to carry.

Someone should create a Trump Preznincy Escape Kit. Give it a homemade Etsy look, market it to Seattle and Portland people, then throw their head back and laugh maniacally as the dollars roll in. Goodbye student loans.

@Mistress Cynica: I just renewed my passport.

@¡Andrew!: Indeed. Mt. St. Helens is rumbling a bit – not much – but still. I could make a two-in-one survival kit.

ETA: We can avoid the Canadian Conflagration, yes?

Meanwhile, I’m thinking of all of my fellow Stinquers going through the Hallmark cards treacly moments of this Sunday, when you would characterize your maternal relationship on the spectrum ranging from neglectful to abusive to toxic to no contact order.

@SanFranLefty: Yeah. Having my brother here was too close to having contact with our mother, even though he’s pretty much in the same boat that I’m in. He was supposed to stay in WA another week, but she acted out so badly that his GF was having panic attacks because our mother threatened to not babysit while his GF went to work. I told him to ask his GF what she needed, and we’d get it done. We got him home. Our mom strikes again.

He has also been blamed for the TIA (ministroke) she had last year. Yup. He gave her a stroke because he found her semi-conscious in her driveway. So, he found her, and all she wanted to do was go to bed. She couldn’t walk on her own, and she vomited. He cleaned her up, got her into her bed, and finally got her to go to the hospital. While she was in the hospital, she had our cousin take away his house key.

I told him that if she dies before I do, he’s on his own unless he needs me to be there to help him dump her body into the bay do the funeral thing. I’d do that for him, but I think that he will have moved by then, and one of our sycophantic bible-believing cousins will take over. He doesn’t believe in god(s) anymore, but he hasn’t told our mother, because he thinks it will be too much for her to handle. I told him that it’s no one’s business what he believes. My hunch is that he doesn’t want to deal with the fallout, and I don’t blame him. She might stroke out. /sarcasm

Two of my father’s three children don’t want to have contact with him, and the one who is in contact is stuck with him – Dad decided to buy a house in that brother’s neighborhood, and he’s overwhelmed with two sick parents (step mom and our father). One of my mother’s two children is going through the motions, and it’s killing him, his GF, and their children.

I think my parents are beginning to realize that maybe my siblings and I aren’t problem offspring after all. I’m the ring leader, though, being 12, 15, and 16 years older than them. I’m almost 50 years old, and I’m the ring leader. At 50. What an insult to my brothers. What a life.

@JNOV: What a life, what a lifeline you have been. Sounds like you have brother coming around.

Please tell your brother that I spent an insane amount of student loans trying to get all articulate and shit with a fancy piece of paper that says I can talk articulate shit and I can’t figure out how to put in words the inchoate rage of the crazy, especially when there are other family members who EAT.UP.THE.FUCKING.LIES.

All I gotta say, is you have to move on, and admire the beauty in the arc of the surf crashing on the beach, or the weird flowers reaching up to the sky. And remember that you have friends who know where the F you’ve been, and if they don’t, they understand and love you. Because a lot of days, that’s what keeps me moving. Hoping to see some crazy weird flower on a hike that will make me wonder about evolution.

@JNOV: P.S. Did you write “Her Jesus Don’t Love Me? Because I thought you might have…

@SanFranLefty: Certainly. The past almost four years away from them has helped me work through the previous 45 years. It’s been a tremendous experience, and although I don’t feel the need or inclination to forgive them, I’ve stopped their ability to pile more crap on the mountain of crap I’m scraping off of me, and that’s huge. I haven’t been this happy for a long time without wondering if it was fake bipolar hypomanic happy. It’s real.

And remember that you have friends who know where the F you’ve been, and if they don’t, they understand and love you.

Yes, and right back atcha. ;-)

I sent the Slate article to my brother’s GF. Her mother tried to whore her out when she was a teenager. What. A. Life.

@SanFranLefty: Link borked. :-(

@JNOV: Comic says Glenn, nerdists (me) hear Maggie cry out on the audio. And it would be pretty dopey (not dope) if they pretended to kill off Glenn three times, but didn’t.

But personally? I kind of hate Abraham, but then I totally hate Rick (he of the really lousy Georgian accent) but that’s too much to ask.

Daryl better live, he makes me cream.

@flypaper: :-) I wouldn’t mind seeing Rick go. Durrl must stay, and there’s no guarantee that someone died, right? Had their teeth bashed in? Sure. But…I dunno. Rick might have to go. Glenn – yeah. I’d read that maybe the other Glenn deaths were to gauge audience reaction, but meh. I loved him at first. Now I’m just tired of him.

Maggie could be crying out because she’s having a miscarriage. And Abraham? I’m on the fence about him. I don’t like him much, but I’d rather see him around than not.

@JNOV: Sorry about that. Try this

@SanFranLefty: Ah. No, I don’t have much in common with him except that I tried to reason with my parents, too. It didn’t work. I have zero respect for her faith that she uses to support her hate of pretty much everyone. The truly sad thing, and maybe good thing, is that I remember when she wasn’t like this. She sat on the local board of Planned Parenthood. She was a feminist. She took very little shit from anyone.

If she was a racist, homophobic, xenophobe, she hid it well. I’m not sure what flipped the switch, but I am glad, very much so, that for eight years I was able to start forming my idea of the world while living in a home that wasn’t polluted with hate.