Sir Richard Attenborough (1923-2014)

Lord Attenbough of Richmond upon Thames, film Director Richard Attenborough pictured at Oxford in 1993.


OK – maybe going back to the dinosaur island a second time wasn’t that foolish, but a third time? And now a fourth time? Didn’t they know it could only end badly?

@ManchuCandidate: so adorable when my girlfriend asks “why does The Hobbit have to be 3 movies?” Because they’ll make $900 million on each and every one!

Not to hijack a memorial posting but I just wanted to express my extreme fucking rage at the news of a 9-year-old accidentally shooting her range instructor WITH A FUCKING UZI.

I would normally do this on the Book of Faces but I’ve deactivated my account temporarily because of some shit going down with work and having been attacked by strangers due to guilt by association in the past.

@rptrcub: @Tommmcatt Au Gros Sel: You have to unpack a lot of Wrong to get to the heart of this one.

@rptrcub: Never give a nine-year-old Nu Joisey girl an uzi. He got whacked.

@nojo: What a moron. A nine year old? An Uzi? They showed a video on tonight’s news, cutting right before she pulled the trigger.

@DElurker: You have to wonder what kind of fantasies were at play among every adult responsible for this — including her parents and the Late Instructor — to allow a 9-year-old girl to fire an Uzi with live ammo. Alas, Reality always wins.


“Alright, go full auto. ..”

Famous last words. At least she didn’t kill herself, instead of a guy who was old enough to have known better than to do what he did. I imagine that she’ll be an emotional wreck, for some time, though. Who knows what the long term psychological repercussions will be.


You’d never let a 9 year-old drive a car, and that’s not even a purpose built weapon.

America: the insanity never ceases.

A brief diversion for some college football trash talk opportunities: my UCLA Bruins play the Oregon Ducks on Oct 11 and the Stanford Tree on Nov 28. I’ve seen Oregon rated no. 1 in the country, possibly because their uniforms are so ugly that their opponents fall down laughing.

@Dodgerblue: And so the Claustrophobia Season begins in Eugene.

The Chargers could go to the Super Bowl, and I could happily not give a shit. In Eugene there will be no escaping DUCKS DUCKS DUCKS.

In other words, ugliness is on the inside. Of Autzen Stadium.

@Dodgerblue: But are they wearing those new spandex tights that become transparent in the rain? (Sidebar: the boys at ABT would be all like: Princess, you want me to wear what? Ima gonna needa check my contract) Clearly that’s a design feature that many of us can applaud one-handedly. While the other is reaching for dick dip. Yay… what are we talking about?

(Pay no attention to noje. He’s so drunk.)

@Dodgerblue: I’m dating someone so I can watch his TV. I’ll save the dates.

@Dodgerblue: Do football players no longer wear jock straps? Russell Wilson certainly upstages Kaepernick’s abs.

/you’re welcome, ghey boyz and str8 girls

Just got back from the E after slicing off bits of a finger. Am now the proud possessor of a scrip for 16 percoset. And the bidding opens at one pair of assess chaps…

@Benedick: Sharp knives or did the bandsaw attack you?

Forever cementing August, 2014, as the All-Time Month From Hell, Japanese Kawaii Industrial Complex conglomerate, Sanrio, let slip that Hello Kitty is not in fact a cat, rather an alleged Bri-tish schoolgirl. The global (cat)shit storm that followed had outraged fans going as far as to check Sanrio’s website, which clearly shows Ha-Ro Kee-Te-Ee (ハローキティ) in the Cat (ねこ) section.

Even the Onion has weighed in on the catroversy.

“The news just keeps getting worse and worse this month.”

@¡Andrew!: But the company is now saying she’s the “personification” of a cat. Non-denial denial?

World Travelers, halp?

I just was invited to a wedding at some blah blah Guildhall on Thames Abingdon Oxford whore thing. In January!!! Shit. There goes my Escape the Gloom; See the Sun trip.

I’ve only passed through Heathrow and Amsterdam, and I have zero desire to see HRH and her corgis or the dudes with the dead-animal hats or burnt toast. I’m thinking about going to Paris and taking the Chunnel to the wedding, spending the night (after party, yo!) in that Oxford place, and going back to Paris. It looks like a have a place on a friend’s couch.

And the dollar is doing better against the Euro than against the pound.

Oh, so like advice? What’s the Chunnel like? I’m afraid of it.

@nojo: Sanrio has really hit the hornet’s nest with a bat this time. The best thing they could do now is shut up, nervously smile and slowly back out of the room.

Okay – flight + hôtel -> Paris 5 nights = $1300. Chunnel is like $150. Who needs to eat?

@JNOV: That sounds like a great deal, actually. And it’s incredible how much you can save by going to grocery stores rather than restaurants.

@¡Andrew!: Yup! And it’s only going to be snowing and shit. Heh. I’ll slap my friend when I see her.

We have a friend in common, and he promised to walk her down the aisle. He died last year. I owe it to her to be a witness for both of us old folks who love her. She’s about my son’s age, left the momo church, and has been shunned by her blood relatives.

But “cocktail attire” in the snow? She needs her hipster ass smacked. The cool thing is that she’s into androgyny. What’s cocktail attire for dudes? It’s got to be warmer than what I’d usually wear.

@JNOV: I’ve taken the Chunnel a number of times, and will do so again in November. You’re only in the tunnel part for maybe half an hour, the rest of the time in the countryside. Just have a drink or two and you’ll be fine. Also, it doesn’t usually snow in the south of England or in Paris–more like the PNW than the Northeast. And your friend chose the cheapest time of year for airfares to Europe, so there’s that.

@Mistress Cynica: You’re absolutely right. I thanked Bridezilla for choosing the off-season. Google told me that I might be in sub-zero temps, Celsius, I hope, and there were photos of people tramping around in snow. Gah.

@JNOV: Who knows with the crazy weather anymore, but generally snow is unusual in Oxford, London, and Paris. It’s mostly rain in winter, lows in the 30s (F), highs in the 40s. Your PNW rain gear (including waterproof boots) would come in handy.

@JNOV: The Chunnel is fun if you like Go Fast toys. Don’t miss the Musee d’Orsay in Paris.

@JNOV: What Ms Cyn said. In Paris l’As du Falafel in rue des Rosiers is great food reasonably priced. Also hot Israeli waiters. They don’t make hotel calls so don’t even try. When I was there I rented an apartment and ate well. Restaurants are very hit and miss. Seems to me you can eat better and more reliably in London or New York. But. Paris. Hello. d’Orsay is pretty fab. And you might try to find time to walk around Oxford sober. It’s a beautiful city. Just don’t try to drive. But walk by the river. Skip about the water-meadows. Take tea at the Angel Hotel. Pack an extra suitcase with cash. You’ll need it. If you have time perhaps go one way across the channel via ferry. Train to Dover; on to ferry; ferry makes crossing; train to Paris. Allo Gâre du Nord!

You won’t have snow. Cocktail for dudes? Navy blue suit worn with tan shoes. Or whatever our president wore to that recent bunfight. While I question the cut of the back as being too drapey, the turnout was out – fucking – standing. Leader of the free world showing Putin what a necktie means. Exquisite knot in a perfectly fitted collar. I feel a need to lie down.

@Dodgerblue: As noje points out so sympathetically, I was attacked by an oregano bush while making snips with a very sharp pair of scissors. It’s not pretty. But I’ve been a very brave cowboy. On the upside, learning to change the dressing on the middle finger of my left hand has taught me another thing I can do using only the right.

As to Dickey Attenborough let’s not forget his fine perf in In Which We Serve alongside Johnny Mills. It seems that those now dead were once as keen to be alive as we are. That’s my maimed hand talking. Middle finger up. It’s early days but I envisage a service pug.

@Mistress Cynica: Gracias. <3

@Dodgerblue: I like the cars, the cars that go ZOOM…I don’t like the underwater part. The Chesapeake Bay Bridge tunnel, the one in Baltimore, any through mountains…no like. I’ll be lit up.

@Benedick: You are a Dear Heart Grouchy Man. This is where I’m staying if things go as planned. Walk to the M, get on the Chunnel, figure out how to get to Oxford from London (working on it), crash on friend’s couch somewhere in England or Scotland or somewhere like that, go back to Paris.


@JNOV: From London to Oxford, take the Oxford Tube, a bus service that runs like every 10 minutes. The Eurostar arrives at St. Pancras/Kings Cross. From there, take the Victoria line tube to Victoria station, where you can get the Oxford Tube. It’s not very expensive, and it delivers you to the train station in Oxford: If the wedding’s in Abingdon, you’ll need to get a cab or see if your friend can arrange to have someone meet you.

@Mistress Cynica: I really appreciate the information you and others are sharing. I can’t help but keep reading the London station as “St. Pancreas.”

@JNOV: Good Lord, woman, you should be able to get laid there. Take pictures to show the hot Israeli waiters, blush, and ask them to show you the way back to the hotel.

Listen to Cyn. She knows her stuff. I was in a company that was anchored in Oxford. There were 6 feet between the stage door and the entrance to the pub. With a roof to shelter us from the storm. I lived on a houseboat with dachshunds who’d wake up early each morning to bark at the swans.

I just put the new dressing on the wrong finger. How zany am I?

@rptrcub: Gun blog:
“I’m as gun nut as you get and if you don’t believe me I’ll shoot you –
But let’s stop handing small kids full auto guns.”

Comment on blog: “FWIW, the Last Stop shooting range is NOT a normal “shooting range”. They are on Highway 93 just inside Arizona on the way to Las Vegas – and they are competing with the Las Vegas ranges in extracting money from tourists who come wanting to shoot “machine guns”. Nothing they do consists of actual training, just folks wanting to exercise a fantasy or three..”

I had a shooting class on Saturday. There was some discussion on this case and what went wrong.

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