Higher Quackery

Is it possible to heal by thought alone—without drugs or surgery?. No.

@Benedick: While I am loath to contradict my esteemed friend, are you implying that every untreated disease and/or injury is invariably fatal? No wound, no sickness, no physical malady in the entire history of humanity ever healed without modern medicine? That doesn’t seem possible.

@Dave H: He’s disputing that the placebo effect can be willed, and this certainly isn’t the book to provide controlled studies documenting proof.

For that matter, while the species certainly survived before modern medicine, mortality was somewhat gruesome. Even Social Security kicked in at 65 because the Feds didn’t expect folks to last much longer.

@nojo: I think that humans are designed to reproduce at age 18 and die at 40.

@Benedick: I once cured a HUGE rip in my fee-fees by pretending my ex-boyfriend was dead, does that count?>

@Dodgerblue: Well, there’s the (biblical?) three score and ten, which suggests that 70 isn’t an absurd expectation.

That is, if you survive everything that brought the average down to fortysomething. Just look at child mortality pre-1900.

@nojo: If we find ourselves without effective antibiotics (any day now), all bets are off.

I thought I would come on and favor all of you with some of my demands. I know, this is out of character for me, but I think you’ll be glad I shared.

Firstly, you will all address me forthwith with the respect that I would like to deserve. Please note that this in no way encourages the use of the term “shithead”.

Secondly, all requests for jollity or frollicksome insousiance should be filed, in triplicate, with Nojo, who will then forward them to me for approval, which depends entirely upon point-the-first and the appropraiteness of address thereof. Also how much I have had to drink.

The third, fourth, primary and subsequent weeks of each month shall be designated “Filipino Underwear Model” week. Please post accordingly. Note that semi-monthly it shall be desingated “Korean Muscleboy Month”, in which case link to those. Not too steroidal, please.

When in doubt, please make jokes about Benedick’s age.

The use of neo-logisms shall be encourequirated. Again, if you have doubts around this policy please see point three and proceed benetempormockingaly.
I hearby reorder point four so that it is point three. Pay attention.

Do not correct my spelling.

I think you’ll find these adjustments a welcome and necessary change for me.

That is all. Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.

@Tommmcatt Au Gros Sel: Please note that The Management shall not forward entriplicated forms to Shithead without due consideration.

@nojo: You understand me.

@Tommmcatt Au Gros Sel: Omniscience is a burden.

@Tommmcatt Au Gros Sel: Could some of these underwear models be women? Non-steroidal, of course.

@Tommmcatt Au Gros Sel: To hell with your red tape, shithead. Scroll down.

@Dodgerblue: Will surfers do? This should keep you busy.

@Dodgerblue: @JNOV: With a side of <a href=The Hottest South Korean Modelsvar RNKRW = RNKRW || {};RNKRW.pref = {};>kimuchee

@JNOV: I notice that the photo of Lindsey Vonn doesn’t show her knees. Probably too much scar tissue.

@flypaper: Gracias.

@flypaper: Thst ranking site is like crack, huh? I had NO IDEA what “Brown Sugar” was really about. Whoa.

@Dodgerblue: Yeah. How many surgeries has she had? Hardcore woman.

Volleyball for you. http://www.ranker.com/list/hottest-female-volleyball-players/sportsyeah?format=SLIDESHOW&page=1

Dr. Joe is a faculty member at the International Quantum University for Integrative Medicine in Honolulu and an invited chair of the research committee at Life University in Atlanta, where he earned his doctor of chiropractic degree.

Oh, a BULLSHIT artist! ;)

@al2o3cr: I majored in Marijuana with a minor in Pickup Basketball.

@JNOV: thanks. I saw Gabby Reese up close once. OMFG.

Another day, another ban on same-sex marriage knocked off.

Paging Andrew! – don’t you have some family in Arkansas? Are their heads exploding?

And the best part, of course:

It has been over forty years since Mildred Loving was given the right to marry the person of her choice. The hatred and fears have long since vanished and she and her husband lived full lives together; so it will be for the same-sex couples. It is time to let that beacon of freedom shine brighter on all our brothers and sisters. We will be stronger for it.

IT IS SO ORDERED this 9th day of May, 2014.

Dang it, who’s chopping onions in the kitchen?

@Dodgerblue: :-D

WTF is up with these crazyass names that you not only can’t pronounce but also don’t mean a fucking thing?

Tomorrow we’re going to Anacortes. I think it’s pronounced annaCOURTS. That place was named after Anna Curtis. Maybe they were trying NDNize another Anglo name.

Everyday I learn about a new town with a weird name that no one pronounces the same way. Wikipedia Voice Button fucks it up. I ask people who grew up here and they don’t agree. I mean, c’mon! You live 40 miles from each other and you can’t agree on this business?

I love that this is my major complaint about the PNW, and it’s actually not a complaint. I’m used to the tweakers.

@JNOV: Anna-COR-tez in my family, which includes a Seattle wing.

@JNOV: Ahh-Nahh-COR-Tez, en me familia de Olympia.

Meanwhile, Lefties 3 – Dodgers 1.

@nojo:: w/r/t the 20 years ago tweet…. I just spent about half an hour reading Monica Lewinsky’s piece in VF. I stroked out at the thought that she is 40, and the drama was 16 years ago, until I did the math and remembered I’m older than her.

/carry on.

@SanFranLefty: Like I always say, I’m younger than Madonna.

@nojo and SanFranLefty: That’s what I was calling it until Federal Way C told me ANNAcourts or annaCOURTS or whatever, man. I’m going back to my WhateverMan response when people try to correct me when they can’t even get Seattle’s name right, so fuck them and their goofy names.

I couldn’t think of a better way to go than with Rainier, unless it hurts.

@nojo: By like 2 months?

@SanFranLefty: I hope the local emergency rooms have braced themselves for a tidal wave of patients suffering from tongue-talking-induced seizures and snake bites.

@JNOV: Oh, please. That aging sack of bones is eight months older than me.

@nojo: Let’s just take a moment to consider the Madonna/Nojo calculus then translate that into the lifespan of assless chaps then leapfrogging on that calculate Catt’s age in dog years.

I think I can speak for us all in saying it’s a wonder he got here at all. Pole-Dancing Syndrome isn’t pretty. The effects aren’t obvious at first but when they hit they can be devastating. The most obvious symptom is an uncontrollable expansion of the butt. It can easily become big enough to require its own zip code and the wearing off XX Large polos outside the Easy-Waist Elasticated Jeans® that provide just a scotche more room where it’s needed.

Just because customers are no longer stuffing your gee string with dollar bills while you’re dancing on the bar doesn’t mean you’re over the hill.

@SanFranLefty: My lads took today’s game after a shaky start.

@SanFranLefty: I’ve been reading more this morning about the marriage ruling in Arkansas. Mr !A! and I grew up and lived there until after our undergraduate college graduation, and a huge leap forward like this really puts social change into perspective.
We left Arkansas in 2000 and moved to Seattle. At the time, Arkansas still enforced sodomy laws, and conceivably we could have been arrested and jailed simply for having a physical relationship. We thought that we never would be able to have careers, adopt a child, buy a home together or achieve any of life’s conventional milestones if we had stayed. We couldn’t even be out at work, and a simple non-discrimination ordinance in Fayetteville–the city in which we lived and also the most liberal part of the state–had just gone down in flames.
This ruling contains exceptionally powerful language and sets new standards for social acceptability. It really means that life eventually will be better for gay people living there, and most importantly it means that they won’t have to leave friends and family by moving far away to have the kind of life that they want.

@¡Andrew!: I hope you’re happy you made me cry. Not flip. Truly humbled.

@Benedick: what are you talking about? I’ve got a great ass.