An Illustrated Guide to the Proper Use of “Yakety Sax”

Also, one should know by now never to violate a Siamese’s space.


If you have to ask . . . Bill knows how.

Couple questions: First, what kind of inhuman monster does not allow the dog on the bed? The dog should be IN the bed.

Second: Judging by the décor we should all be very grateful we do not live in Russia.

Third: It’s a cat. We had a Siamese once. Scared the bejeezus out of me.

Fourth: The dog gets on the bed to see where mummy has gone.

@Benedick: Seeing where mummy has gone is the last thing the dog gets around to.

This is typical pit behavior. He knows he’s not supposed to, so he just waits until his mom is gone before he does. Thor does the same thing – he doesn’t like to go outside to pee when it is cold, so he waits until his dads are occupied and goes in the dining room. No amount of frustrated yelling will dissuade him, and it only happens in the wintertime.

@nojo: The dog is preparing to see where mummy has gone because he misses her so much. Clearly that dog needs a nice daddy who likes to play with balls.

@Tommmcatt Au Gros Sel: Imagine if you lived in a place where it actually gets cold.

@Benedick: The dog exhibits the same behavior when there’s a particularly sweet turd in the yard.

@Tommmcatt Au Gros Sel: Really? Wow. All our family dogs would beg to go out, rather than endure the shame of staying in. Or maybe we were just good at shaming dogs.

@nojo: Thor is not so much a dog as he is a trans-species cat.

Please. My cats would love me forever if I let them out in the snow. (Yes, we got three inches this year, as did the actress.)

@Tommmcatt Au Gros Sel: I thought Thor was a Huskie. Good God even the pugs are out there leaping and bounding.

@JNOV: sometimes three inches is enough.

@Tommmcatt Au Gros Sel: A cat trapped in a dog’s body? I’ll bet the Veterinary Industrial Complex has a pill for that.

@JNOV: It’s not the size of the wand, it’s how you use the magic.

@¡Andrew!: So they say. ;-)

Hey – make it get effin warm already. The San Juans await.

I’m watching the dog again. The dog makes me happy. Yackety Sax makes me happy. Percocet makes me happy, but I don’t have any opioids.

So this is kind of interesting. Apparently the reason Vladimir Putin annexed Crimea was because Bill Clinton fucked him in the ass in 1999.

No. Really.

He said that according to this guy in Slate.

First paragraph, second page. Look for “vsekh nagnuli”.

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