God Did It

O’Reilly could put his name on a book titled “Killing Bob Smith” and his loyalists would get it on the best seller lists. Some may even read it. There’s only one name on the cover that’s important.

Here’s a book that we don’t want to miss, “Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims: Time-Travel Adventures with Exceptional Americans” by Rush Limbaugh.

@Dave H:
Jeebus?

The Quiverfull Duggard? I know. I know.

How many kids are they up to now? Nothing like raising 20 siblings and being raised by 20 siblings while your parents fuck away.

@JNOV: This is why God invented anal sex.

@Benedick: <3

TJ/ I'm digging iRadio, but I sure as shit don't want to pay $30 to have my music library on the mofoin' cloud. But yeah. No more Pandora. iRadio is smarter. Much.

@JNOV: Agreed, altho I am paying the $30 to have my music in the cloud.

So what do we think are the odds that my trash doesn’t get picked up tomorrow?

@mellbell: I’m unclear on what gets shut down and what doesn’t. Will we get mail delivery?

@Dodgerblue: Yes, because USPS is (theoretically) self-funded.

Who Goes to Work? Who Stays Home?

Well, the last time, I stayed home. And was happy to do so. I wasn’t entirely dependent on my salary, so it wasn’t too much of a hardship. This time is going to be tough on lots of folks. After a short time you can hit unemployment which starts other problems again.
One thing about the shut down, you find out whether you’re indispensable. And it may be a long shot for tea-baggers to vote for retroactive pay.
Good luck to our civil servants.

@BobCens: I hope I don’t show up and they tell me, “You have a job; we’re just not going to pay you.”

TJ/ Oh, ‘Catt. Here Kitty Kitty… I have issues with A&F’s history of all-white models and shitty clothing; HOWEVER, an ex A&F model cuts my hairs. Ten years ago, he was hanging in South Beach. Now he washes my hair. He wears tight shirts. Damn near all of his clients are teenage girls. ;-)

I work at home. I just hope this won’t split Broadway with the pink contracts staying home while the production contracts go to work. To say nothing of local one. Who will pay the dry cleaning bill? And how do the musicians fit in – as the actress said to the bishop.

I do believe that Speaker Boehner has our best interests at heart and that God will bless him with the wisdom he needs to guide us through this troubling time.

@JNOV: Does he lean against you to get at those hard to reach places? Does he need to spread his legs to mount you to get at those fine tendrils of hair at the back of the neck, perhaps damp with perspiration? I should think he would. Does he shampoo in briefs? Is his name Alexandre? Does he have a slim bar of silver through his right nipple? Are there pictures?

@Benedick: I’m looking for his pics. He has one on his The State Sez I Can Cut Hair license.

I don’t think I’m his type. But he is easy easy easy on the eye. Easy.

@Benedick: Hopefully the sideburns will be a thing of the past. Ahem.

I can’t wait to let my hair grow out, but it’s going to be an ugly process. He told me to wear a beanie.

@JNOV: I’m guessing he was a varsity wrestler (whatever that means, is it like jazz hands?) who would sometimes need to share a room with his coach.

Okay, Butch (this is the coach speaking) we’ll just make do with one bed. Not my choice. No siree. Nope. Thinkin’ about the little woman. Anyhoo. I sleep on the right. You get your ass down in here. You sure are pretty.

Princeton is so strapped for cash I’m surprised they can still pump out lawyers. As the actress said to the bishop. Speaking of pumping, I’m guessing his thighs would make a significant impression when pressed against one. Not unlike iOS 7. Not that that’s why one would engage him tonsorialy. Does he do New York and does he take Mastercard?

@JNOV: A beanie? It could be that he’s not gay.

@Dodgerblue: I might have to. I’ll see how much I like having it on my phone and how much the commercials annoy me, if at all. I suspect the commercials will increase in frequency to get me on the cloud. Meanwhile, Imma see if I can find a work around to get iRadio on my computer. Sucks. They build something well enough to go through five or six years of abuse, and then they keep trying to force me to buy a new one. I can’t upgrade to Lion. I got my calendar to sync on the cloud, but I screwed up my address book in a major way. I refuse to buy a new computer.

@Benedick: He was joking

@Benedick: I was lamenting the horrors to come (I’ve chopped it off twice), and he was like, “You could get extensions, a lace front, or a beanie.”

That’s okay. I defaced his picture on his license.

@Benedick: Oh. Stop. He’s gorgeous, funny, and sweet. He trades on his hotness (ahem). And he gives good cut.

@JNOV: Give good cut. Story of my life.

@Benedick: <3

I don’t know why this cat is licking my cheek. It’s rather painful.

@JNOV: Aww, it’s grooming you. Sign of affection. Try to think of it as an exfoliation treatment that would cost you $150 at a spa.

@Mistress Cynica: :-) Ha! It sure felt like a sugar scrub.

I’m glad she likes me. I like her, too. It hurt like the dickens but nearly not as much as when she went after my earlobe. Both were not nearly as inconvenient as when she decided to sleep on my shoulder after grooming me.

I’ve been afraid to have another cat. I’m still nervous that something will happen, and I feel guilty about the cats my mother had killed. It’s hard to explain.

Y’all watching C-SPAN? I’ve never heard of Alcee Hastings before, but he’s hilarious right now.

Nancy Pelosi is looking good. Nice scarf.

Fuck you, Sessions!

Here’s a hint that your proposal is not a “clean CR” — the phrase “clean CR” is immediately followed by “with….”

@mellbell: +1

Get Pelosi back on TV. She’s bound to start cussin’ in short order.

Keep hitting that nail — the TeaPublicans want no gov’t whatsoever.

Aaaand the Iraqi special immigrant visa extension goes down.

@mellbell: O_o

Oh, shut up and go the hell home, you liars.

So are we shut down yet?

@matador1015: Yup.

@mellbell: Seriously — no one batted an eye.

Why don’t they kick those fools out? They’re wasting electricity.

I thought Pelosi looked stricken. Even through all that surgical eye enhancement made worse by makeup.

I blame Jon (sp? WTF? It’s ‘John’.) Stewart and Bill Maher. The unbearable lightness of smug.

@Benedick: She babbled some, I think she was drunk, and then she’d fling a zinger.

Now, the women who are still in the chamber calling the teapubs dickwads? They are awesome.

HELP! HELP! I’M BEING STRANGLED BY OBAMACARE!

Yeah. It’s my bedtime. I’ll let you know if they send me home/have me work for free/blah.

I think if they have me work for free, backpay is contingent upon an act of Congress.

@nojo: If only he’d let Congress and its staff give up their healthcare…

Today’s Google Doodle celebrates the 123rd anniversary of Yosemite National Park’s creation. Oh, the irony.

I blame the gays.

Wow. I never thought they might stop paying benefits. I just processed one for a kid who is now a paraplegic. This is fucked.

http://www.va.gov/opa/docs/Field_Guide_20130927.pdf

@Benedick: Lindsey Graham has an alibi.

@mellbell: I don’t think it was an accident.

Yosemite = they are killers; they are to be feared

@nojo: Heh

Actually, I am getting screwed — I’m “expected” to pay 9.5 percent of my income for insurance under Obamacare, with no subsidy. But since I’m freelance, I already pay 25-30 percent in taxes, including “both halves” of SS/Medicare.

No news there. Neither party wants you to work for yourself.

@nojo: Dude. You need a new accountant STAT.

@nojo: Do you get a refund from the ins co. if you don’t use the amount of services you’re estimated to use?

On my way. I think the VBA is good until “late October” if this continues. Then no $ for disabled vets, and they send us home.

Good Morning email:

Subject: Attention DoD Civilians and Civilians of other agencies DFAS pays

Civilian employees scheduled to work on October 1, 2013 should report to work as normal. Employees will either be placed in a furlough status or continue to work. Prior to departing, all furloughed employees should ensure their time and attendance is recorded for October 1-4, 2013, with furlough code KE. If the appropriation lapse extends past October 4, 2013, employee work schedules will be populated with KE (furlough), until such time as the Human Resource Office processes a return to duty transaction. Furloughed employees will be paid for any time spent supporting the orderly shutdown, but that time will be processed retroactively after this situation is resolved.

For those employees excepted from furlough, further instructions will be provided for recording their time and attendance before October 4.

Employees exempt from the government shutdown (e.g., employing organization has funding available to continue normal operations), regular timekeeping rules apply.

For more information, please go to http://www.dfas.mil.

Please note: This does not apply to Nonappropriated Fund employees nor Foreign National employees.

___________________________________________________
Delivered by Defense Finance and Accounting Service

Shutdown! The American people lose again!

***shudders and returns to physiology textbook***

By the way, does anybody have a simple way of describing polar action in muscle contraction? It’s like trying to decipher Ancient Greek, and that’s just the helpful illustrations.

Sodium ion permeability what?

@JNOV: Insurance?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Did I mention freelance?

If you choose to work for yourself, and you’re not making a six-figure income (or hey, even mid-five figures…), you have a few surprises in store. Right off the bat, your taxes go up 7.5 percent, because you’re now paying the “employer share” of Social Security/Medicare, and that’s not pro-rated.

And then, until yesterday, you’re thrown into the non-group ghetto of health insurance, where (a) you can’t afford it, and (b) what you can afford isn’t worth it.

Obamacare doesn’t solve the Freelancer’s Dilemma, except that now the insurance you can’t afford actually has some value to it. I knew this four years ago, but still supported it because that’s all craven Democrats would fight for, and it’s marginally better than what preceded it.

But it’s still the case that in These United States, the government really doesn’t want you to work for yourself, because decent health insurance remains tied to working for somebody else. The only solution is universal Medicare, for which I’d happily pay a significant bump in taxes.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: Does this help?

Terminology: What is a spindle? A shape is that is long but wider in the middle (this is the shape of a tool, called a spindle, used in spinning yarn by hand); the Latin word for a spindle is fusus and things shaped like a spindle are called fusiform. Muscle cells inside the muscle spindle are called intrafusal cells; all the remaining regular skeletal muscle cells in the muscle are called extrafusal cells. (Note about terminology in texts: a muscle fiber is a muscle cell).

A. Structure of Muscle Spindle and Contractile Properties of Spindle Muscle Cells

1. Specializations of Intrafusal muscle cells – Spindle muscle cells are skeletal muscle cells that are different from regular muscle cells; nuclei are in the middle (equatorial region) of the cell; middle region does not contain myofibrils and does not contract; ends of cells (polar regions) contain contractile filaments and are able to contract.

2. Types of muscle cells in spindle – differ in morphology/contractile properties; number of muscle cells is variable

a. Dynamic bag muscle cells (dynamic nuclear bag cells) – typically 1 per muscle spindle; nuclei arranged in cluster in middle; contract rapidly when activated.

b. Static bag muscle cells (static nuclear bag cells) – typically 1 per spindle; nuclei arranged in cluster in middle; contract slower.

c. Chain muscle cells (nuclear chain cells) – from 5 – 10 per spindle; nuclei arranged in row in middle like a chain; smallest muscle cells; contract slowly.

3. Motor Innervation of muscle spindle – Spindle muscle cells receive own innervation by motor neurons: Gamma (g) motor neurons innervate only spindle muscle cells; Beta motor neurons innervate both spindle and regular (extrafusal) muscle cells but much less is known about them.

a. Gamma motor neurons – axons of gamma (g) motor neurons are smaller (1-8 microns diameter) than alpha motor neurons; however, up to 30% of all axons in ventral roots are from gamma motor neurons; only innervate spindle muscle cells so do not contribute to force of contraction; gamma motor neurons innervate ends (polar regions) of spindle muscle cells; Two types of gamma motor neurons –

i. Gamma dynamic motor neurons – innervate Dynamic bag muscle cells.

ii. Gamma static motor neurons – innervate Static bag muscle cells and Chain muscle cells.

@nojo: Ugh. That’s about all I can say.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: Chemotherapy is not good for getting erections. Further I sayeth not.

@JNOV: You see my pain. Believe it or not, none of that has anything to do with it. See, stimulation of a nervous receptor causes the permibility of the cell wall to sodium to increase, which causes a net change in the action potential of the nerve cell as positively-charged sodium ions move across the cell membrane into the sludgrexaganoic. Which in turn causes calcium to spoove the indafrexiploosgim, which makes the fleereios amino acid attached to the gradoinidid fiber on the goo-blah change shape and reveal the hexiproganid receptor for the head of the spheroid wonganid to bind to the fiber. Which causes movement somehow. Like a ratchet wrench.

I think. I may have gotten some of this wrong.

Some nursing student, right?

@Dodgerblue: Wow. Marginally better than the alternative, I guess, but still.

I guess little blue pills are out of the question?

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: I may have gotten some of this wrong.

No, you’ve described app development perfectly.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: Oh, they work, after a fashion, and after a while. Sigh.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: dude. That’s kind of how MRI works: it briefly changes the polarity (positive/negative) of a cell. The magnet does that somehow. Google “how does an MRI machine work?”

@Dodgerblue: um… there’s another way…er…

No squicking. Implants.

And every person with a penis reflexively guards his nuts in unison.

@JNOV: I have a friend whose prostate cancer surgery went slightly awry so that he now gives himself a shot in the penis to get an erection. What would the bishop say to the actress?

@JNOV: On the other hand…

California enrollment is offline like everywhere else, but the “cost calculator” suggests I can get a high-deductible “Bronze” plan for about $200/month — which just happens to be the Affordable Number I’ve had in the back of my mind.

If that holds true with actual enrollment, I can’t complain — it’s the rough equivalent of catastrophic insurance, but with a (presumed) guarantee that they’ll actually pay if I need it. That’s been one of the problems with the individual market: Even if you can afford a plan, they’ll probably screw you. If Obamacare spares me the fine print, so much the better.

@Dodgerblue: yeah. I wasn’t going to mention that for fear you guys would fall over like fainting goats.

Implants of all sorts show up on X-rays, and I’ve seen different models. Sometimes a man wouldn’t want to shock 23 year old me, and he’d tell me he had one. Totally comfortable with the whole thing. The guy who was too comfortable asked me if I wanted to see how his worked.

I’ll save testicular ultrasound for another day.

@nojo: do you get dental?

TJ/ if I die on this bus, it’s #7055 on the 180 route to SE Auburn driven by an asshole in a Heisenberg hat. He’s the screamer. Metro will know who he is.

Goddamn that DJ iRadio made my day!

@JNOV: Dental only seems to apply to kids. Unless I overlooked something. But I’ll take it for another $50 if they have it.

@Dodgerblue: What would the bishop say to the actress?”

Easy.

He’d say ” Pour me a shot then, darling.”

@nojo: Check on that. I thought it was only for kids, too, but Crazy at my job said it covers adults. Crazy is, well, crazy, but she’s often right.

After I got off the OneLatey, someone was taken off the bus in handcuffs. The State Sheriff (they’re really transit police), a firetruck and an ambulance were on the scene. People were being moved to another bus. Drama!

I’m renaming this cat Toonces.

@nojo: I’ll tell you what: I’ll marry you and put you on my plan (two dental checks, cleanings per year for free), eye exam and contacts for six months or something towards glasses = $20, PPO (don’t need referrals), etc. if you’ll let me vacation on your couch in February (for a week or so) when I’ll be ready to jump off Rainier. And you buy the beer, pizza and ice cream. No fish tacos. (I have trouble keeping a job, but don’t worry about that.)

I’m lost. We’re talking about penises?

@Dodgerblue: What would the bishop say to the actress? Pass the port.

@nojo: Might I suggest you don’t take a big deductible? Yes it costs more. On the other hand it will cover a colonoscopy. Insurance will pay about $500 for that. You will pay about $2500. And you know you need one.

@JNOV: I have dental on my insurance for which I pay extra. Not sure it’s worth it though it did cover gum surgery. I’m checking out the exchanges to see if I can do better. Though I must say I’ve never had any trouble with my insurance refusing to pay.

@Benedick: Aren’t we always talking about penises?

@JNOV: Apparently “dental insurance” is a joke — payouts capped at twice your premium, and then you’re on your own.

Instead, the new thing is “dental plans”, basically discount buying clubs. Pay a hundred bucks up front, get reduced rates. (Which are probably the “real” rates, since a hundred bucks can’t buy you much…)

So, probably that for me. My potty mouth could use some attention.

@Benedick: $200 for Bronze, $330 for (lower-deductible) Silver. Too much of a stretch.

But: Annual open enrollment. I can revisit my choice (and budget) next fall.

@Benedick: Gum surgery — that thing where they say, “Oh, we’re going to scrape your mandible!”?

@nojo: I’m telling you, Common Law, dude. Common Law.

Gad, this shit fries my mind. Haven’t been this freaked since I tried to buy a house.

@nojo: How long do you have to figure it out?

@JNOV: Sometime in March, it seems. But deciding now locks things in for Jan. 1.

But that’s not the mind-frying part. It’s taking the moment to figure out everything now, including group-rate dental and maybe vision. (I barely passed my last DMV eye test…) If I can afford $200 medical, that leaves some change for the rest, none of which I was considering when I woke up this morning, and I dive in like a recovering grad student, absorbing as much as I can in one go.

So I think I’m settled on everything. That is, if I could stand to think about it.

@nojo: Go take a break and design an app or something.

@JNOV: Launching in a couple weeks. Maybe. We’ll see.

This one’s Geek For Hire, or Geek For Miniscule Percentage of Fantasy Company. Mainly it interests me because of the technical challenges.

@nojo: Does UCSD have a dental school? Check out if they give free cleanings to folks willing to be guinea pigs for the students.

@SanFranLefty: yeah. Penn students removed my wisdom teeth. Got good drugs bc one was kneeling on my chest. Leverage I was told. Those things were stuck in there something fierce.

@SanFranLefty: Nah, the group-plan dental prices are reasonable. I also need a filling, so I’d rather start my relationship with [Insert Anonymous Sandy Eggo Dentist Here] on the right foot.

The shutdown plan is simple: It’s a coup d’état. Unsatisfied with merely owning and profiting from the back-breaking labor of millions of slaves in Asia, the 1% have spent the last three decades buying and stealing most of our country’s assets. Now they’ve ordered their Tea Klux Klan puppets in KKKongress to nuke our eCONomy via the debt default so that they may rule in totality over the smoldering, apocalyptic ruins.

@nojo: It’s really easy. First, go to law school for three years–be sure to pay attention in your contracts class! Next, spend three years studying every word of the 900+ page “Affordable” Care Act and the associated court rulings. Finally, spend another year reviewing the 3,976 private health plans available on the state run exchanges (since spending 9.5% of your gross income on insurance premiums is totally affordable!!). I’m planning on avoiding plans named after metals–because they’re déclassé–in favor of plans named after gemstones (one triple diamond plan, please!). See, in just seven short years, you too could understand how the insurance industry scam ACA effects you (probably not, though).

@¡Andrew!: Eliot Spitzer went with the four diamond plan. That worked out well.

@¡Andrew!: The 9.5 percent turned out to be a red herring — I’m (barely) under the subsidy cap, so I get reasonably discounted rates.

Also, at least in California, there are only six-ish companies per Metal, and each Metal provides the same bennies across the board.

I expected a lot worse, but it’s almost Apple Simple. And, importantly, there’s no small print to taketh away what the large print giveth.

So, in terms of my specific case as an Uninsured American, I’d call it a success. So far.

TJ/ hey. Is the Terry McAuliffe running for gov of VA that Terry McAuliffe?

Oh. And I’ll be on The Asshole 180 in a few. I’ll give you the bus number in case of violent shenanigans.

@JNOV: Yes. And if you haven’t read This Town by Mark Leibovich, get to your library at once.

Yay! We don’t have The Mean Man!

@Mistress Cynica: I’ll put it on hold as soon as I get home!

@nojo: Federal employees have been going through a similar open season for health care plans every year for at least as long as I worked for the government. You guys will figure it out by trial and error just like we all did. Just remember that whatever mistake you make will only last for one year.

@Walking Still: The four diamond plan includes full release.

@Dave H: I was a state employee twenty years ago, so it’s not entirely unfamliar to me. Except the choices are a lot less complicated.

Also, since I was Managementish, I got to wrangle the alumni-rag budget. Which is where I learned the magic term OPE — “Other Payroll Expenses”, or what an employee actually costs, beyond salary. Thirty fucking percent. That would cover bennies, retirement — and the employer share of SS/Medicare and health insurance.

Which is why I’ve been strictly Sole Proprietor* as freelance: No way in hell am I hiring somebody and bringing all that shit down on me, not to mention HR Hell.

*Yes, yes, I know: Incorporate! But California charges $700/year to do that. Yet another example of how guvmint doesn’t want you working for yourself.

@nojo: incorporate in DE.

@JNOV: Or Nevada, but still stuck with Cal business tax.

No matter. My personal taxes would be the same — same income, same deductions — and all incorporating would do is add extra hassle. I’ve done the Partnership Thing before, and it just complicates filing.

@nojo: Definitely skip incorporating unless you want to multiply your paperwork by a factor of ten.

Clearly you’re not coming up with enough “business expenses” for your sole proprietorship. You’ve got to use that great imagination. You need to spend your before-tax income to pay enough of your cost to live to bring your taxable income down to a manageable level for self-employment and income taxes. If Exxon Mobil can do it so can you.

@nojo: Are you operating as a DBA?

Looks like it’s $800 now. And you probably don’t need to shield yourself from liability by creating a corporate veil.

Why would you incorporate?

Wait — could you buy supplies tax free?

Just start a cult.

@Dave H: @JNOV: As a freelance geek, you better believe I deduct all my toys.

And no, I don’t have liability issues that would benefit from hiding behind an S-Corp or whatever. Unless I get sued by a patent troll over an app that uses some common function. They prey on small shops.

@JNOV: he did, after a fashion. It’s just virtual.

@nojo: I still don’t understand why you’re paying FICA. Are you Coca Cola? But let me suggest that for the small diff in price for the plans you buy the more expensive one? You get so much more for the money. Plus, as your spouse, you can cover silent partner. So when you adopt that baby together you can all be covered and plan for her college.

This JNOV: does it speak English?

@nojo: Um. LLC?

@¡Andrew!: I found crossing several time zones, adjusting to several new intestinal flora and learning to drive on the other friggin side of the street is a fair tradeoff for cheap medical care. Example: teeth cleaning and two fillings, $40.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: +1

@Benedick: This JNOV: does it speak English? In tongues?

/this concludes my toe-dipping for FY13, honoring a commitment to a fellow Stinquer (but using funds already appropriated before Sept 30, dontcha know). Oh, and Go Bucs!/

@Benedick: Same diff. Annual Cal business tax, more paperwork, no practical benefit at my income level.

And FICA? Oh yeah, baby: 15 percent off the top, no exceptions. Plus another 15 percent (more or less) for state and federal. I happen to enjoy the freelance life —. a lot — but it’s not without its costs.

@Benedick: Technically: FICA is split into “employer” and “employee” shares. If you’re working for The Man, The Man pays the employer half. But if your working for yourself, you pay both halves.

Also: It’s not progressive, and the qualifying income is capped in the low six figures. That’s the insulting part, and I’m still waiting for any Democrat or Republican to give a shit about it.

@nojo: I can only believe that Tax does not apply to musical theatre. I do not do FICA. But then, I do not employ a sweatshop of once hopeful immigrants now forced to answer phones pretending to be from NYC. No one’s fooled. The Bronx is up and the Battery’s down.

@nojo: it’s been like that forfuckingever. I can’t believe there’s a cap for the wealthy. That’s totally regressive.

@Benedick: hey. There’s some strike going on?

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: then he should file as a not-for and claim all the whatever the hell he does as part of his ministry, evangelical as it is.

@Benedick: Me talk pretty one day.

@Benedick: I had to get some help with a computer issue recently, and, having some expirience with the dialect, finished the call with a hearty “Have a nice evening, and salaamat po.”

She laughed and said “Oh, you’re very welcome sir. Only here it is the afternoon.”

The authors of Killing Jesus really nailed it, btw.

@¡Andrew!: <3

Okay. Here comes the bus. I’ll let you know if you need to notify my son.

ETA Naw. This is the Head Bus. The Tweaked Bus comes later.

@nojo: What was the name of your cat that shit in your shoe?

I can’t come up with a good name for this cat. She needs a descriptive yet badass name.

And a name she can grow into.

I wonder what Einstein would think if he knew how many animals were named after him. Meh. It’s all relative.

@JNOV: I’ve always thought that “Stevie” would be a kick ass cat name.

@JNOV: I’ve always wanted to name a cat Enrique. Or Gary.

Oh wait, this is a girl cat? Why we got to put these gender labels on them. Enrique could be a could name for a girl cat.

“She needs a descriptive yet bad ass name” — alright, I’m going to use first names here for some bad ass ladies off the top of my head, but many of their last names could work as cat names.

-Frida [Kahlo]
-Ida [B. Wells]
-Angela [Davis]
-Hillary [Rodham Clinton]
-Cellestine [Ware]
-Claudette [Colvin]
-Tara [VanDerVeer] *
-Sojourner [Truth]
-Rosa [Parks]
-Chirlane [McCray]
-Michelle [Robinson Obama]

*Oddly enough I think “VanDerVeer” would be a good cat name. Per the Googlez translate function, this is Dutch for “Of the Spring” or “Spring-like” Plus it would be a cute tip of the hat to every sports fans favorite women’s basketball coach.

@JNOV: Puyi. After the last Chinese emperor. Okay, after the movie about the last Chinese emperor. And squeezed together, because Pu Yi was too precious.

@SanFranLefty: “Cankles” has a not yet declawed but nearly feral ring to it

@¡Andrew!: Ha! Yeah — we’d have to much confusion in the home.

@SanFranLefty: Good names, but she’s kind of stupid.

@nojo: Yeah, I was thinking about that because she seems to have some gastrointestinal issues.

@peggynooner: Heh. <3

She goes to the vet on Wednesday, and I pick her up on Friday. Until then, I have to deal with the Puyi and all that comes with a crazy cat. She's seriously insane.

Is it too late for me to contribute?

Clytemnestra
Smelly Cat
Havisham
Strychnine
Diverticulitis
Shib-Niggurath, black she-goat with a thousand young

…but then I’m more of a dog person.

Noonan
Glados
Kummerspeck
Viscous
Infraorbital
Ween

Sardine
Messugah
Fistula
Margaret

Telephony

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Glados was the name of our last wireless router…

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: I’ve seen enough fistulas, thank you.

@Tommmcatt Can’t Believe He Ate The Whole Thing: Winner

iRadio: not one single commercial while listening to a looong playlist based on Marvin Gaye and no repeats.

Chemical Brothers and Tricky stations commercials commercials commercials and a friggin loop. Interesting.

So, we’ve moved from shooting crazed drivers to self-immolation. Jesus.

@nojo: hey. Remember when we were talking about charismatic leaders who once encouraged or condoned violence, and then possibly began to rethink their positions? You said that once a seed is planted…

Yeah. “Moderate” Rs. I don’t know if they wish they’d shot those rabid dogs running the show or if the TeaPugs are scapegoats and the moderates are saying, whoa. These are some fucktards, and they’re fucking up my fundraising or Senatorial bid. Maybe they didn’t plant seeds, but they let the weeds grow tall.

ETA: no more typing on the bus

@SanFranLefty: Sorry but I can’t fathom your “VanDerVeer” cute tip of the hat to Geno Auriemma. I can’t make any sense of it concerning Pat Summitt either. Care to spell it out for a sadly clueless fan?

@Dave H: Fear the Tree.

@SanFranLefty: Work is going to be an ugly mess on Monday. Huskies huskies all around me!

@SanFranLefty: Hey. Should I go balls to the wall and watch the game in the U District?

iRadio has tricked my into buying two songs in three days. No, three songs. Sneaky.

@JNOV: Late to the name game, but–Moggie (Scottish nickname for cats).

@Mistress Cynica: Ah! Mah-GHEE?

She has succeeded in finding a ponytail holder and killing it. I thought the power went out, but she had turned off a light. And then she turned it on, and off… She has been trying to unlock the front door. Maybe she isn’t stupid.

@JNOV: That’s right. She’s not stupid–she found you! I think she was just really scared.

@SanFranLefty: The only thing I fear about the Tree used to be Secretary of State.

@JNOV: George Carlin was right – this will end badly. Adopting a pet is always the beginning of a minor tragedy.

@Mistress Cynica: Or, in my case, get to your iPad. I tend to ignore political books not written by Hunter Thompson, but the preview pages sold me on diving in. The take on Russert’s funeral reads like a treatment for an Altman film.

Mr. ¡A! just ordered a new iPhone 5s. I hope that they make case embedded in a body pillow so that he and his new iHusband can cuddle together every night.

@nojo: Yes! Perfect Altman scene.
Great book, but it left me more cynical and hopeless than ever.

@Mistress Cynica: :-)

@Dave H: thanks.

@nojo: I saw @Mistress Cynica: is that the play?

I’m fat, drunk and happy.

The cat’s name is Chuff. I almost went with Varna.

Varla? Whatever.

@Mistress Cynica: Well, the book is just amusing froth. The problem lies elsewhere: a popular government that doesn’t reflect the popular will. We have a Senate whose leadership has acquiesced to rule by nonconstitutional filibuster, a House whose districts are so gerrymandered that the losing party enjoys a controlling majority, and states run by cynical politicians who don’t blink at denying citizens the Franchise.

Washington will always have camp followers. It’s the System that’s broken.

If O’Reilly really wants to sell books, he is going to have to come up with something that’s higher concept and more commercial like, “O’Reilly on Fucking Jesus in the Ass! Like Really Fucking Hard and Shit!”

WHY DOES THIS FUXKING THINK KEEP FORCINF ME TO LOG IN?! Doesn’t it know I’m DRUNK?!

Tree goes I to halftime in style. Ducks are formidable. Huskies left bar at halftime. They got some bad calls. And they got a good one, so Wahhhh.

Dude. Spins. Shit.

I mean, I get it. Richie Rich Skool gets all the calls. Other team gets rattled. I want this to be a Good Game. They’re just kids for fucks sake! But we all know they’re professional athletes minus the perks. Student athletes my ass.

@JNOV: Tree yay? or are we now self-loathing?
The Fighting Nojos of Eugene won their game of foot by like 50 points.

@SanFranLefty: tree yay! Student athletes? Bullshit! Drunk? Yes! Oregon is scary.

@JNOV: So are their uniforms. Ducks v. UCLA gonna be good this year — in Eugene! BTW I’m going to the Braves v Dodgers playoff game tomorrow afternoon, with the Santa Ana winds blowing hot from the North, like the man said.

Teyo Johnson was my neighbor. He had no time to study. He was a professional athlete. Didn’t graduate. Plays in canada. The system (for kids) is broken.

@Dodgerblue: beautiful like you, my friend.

@Dodgerblue: Be careful with those Santa Ana winds – the NorCal October fire winds blew some crazy shit over my office in the East Bay on Friday – it was thicker than fog, and it made my lungs and eyes burn like hell. I was coughing up horribly. Worse than any trip I’ve done to Hong Kong or Mexico City (I still think I’d pass out if I tried to go to Beijing).

Here come those Santa Ana Winds again…”

Really, nojo? It’s not even Sunday.

Okay. Look. (I’m home and drunk and took a taxi and droped the cate)

YOU DO NOT WIN A GAME ON AN OFFCIaL’S QUESTIONABLE RULING!!

(Chuff is on the keyboard)

That was a bad win for Stanfordn. Hsukies should have got the first down. Camera angle from behind?bullshit. How can you tell if the ball hit the gground?! Fundamentally unfair.

Water. Now.

I’ll take the W, I guess, but I feel dirty.

@JNOV: Sunday ET. Site’s always been three hours in the future.

@SanFranLefty: The Air Quality Index reading for Beijing yesterday was “Prepare To Die.”

@JNOV: Note to UCLA fans: we can beat these guys. It’s Oregon that I’m worried about. You know how insufferable people from Eugene can be.

@Dodgerblue: People from Eugene are going to self-righteously shame you for that.

HAHAHAHAHAHA! I looked to see how much tickets are to the Ducks @ Huskies game. HAHAHAHAHAHA!

@JNOV: Take whatever that number is and double it, to get an idea of the prices for when Oregon comes to play in Shallow Alto in November. I think Stanford students are all selling their tickets for enough to pay tuition the winter quarter.

@Dodgerblue and Lefty:

1. Was the ball trapped?
2. Yeah — the bar was muuuch cheaper.

@nojo: Be a dear and fix Bene’s linkrot

Oh, wow. I was pretty fucked up.