Happy Masturbation Month, Y’all!
Did you know that May is International Masturbation Month?
Well, what are you waiting for?
Get going, go on there and celebrate it!
[Good Vibrations via SFist]
I’ve been celebrating all year!!!
Sometimes twice a day when life gets really tense.
The Daily Show recently introduced me to one of my new favorite words: Procrasturbating – when you’ve got a ton of things to do, yet you’re jacking off instead (and who hasn’t been there, really–isn’t that why the FSM gave us the internet?)
/double fucking newsflash/
For those of us who’ve been desperately praying that Maya Angelou will read aloud the infamous Deranged Sorority Girl email, well, we’ll just have to keep waiting.
HOWEVER! A Morgan Freeman impersonator provided us with the next best thing. NSFW, obvs.
“Bitches got told,” indeed.
@¡Andrew!: I will email you privately a song that is entitled “Procrasturbation” by Atlanta’s favorite electrosex band, Le Sexoflex. When I get home.
@rptrcub: Le Soloflex? Sign. Me. Up.
@Andrew: I’m not going to dare venture to the site right now but I think the link is http://lesexoflex.bandcamp.com. Tumblr here.
@rptrcub: Time to start celebrating! At home – NSFW – yowza!
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: No, but my government was.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Were you kidnapped?
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: I’ve spent the past five weeks looking like Astronaut Dave going through the…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! NOJO - HOW COME WE'RE NOT COVERING KRASNOV?
NOJO • The Reckoning Four years later: Uhhh, how’d that work out?
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread @nojo: yeah. I had a feeling you’d say that.
NOJO • Hanging by a Thread @JNOV: Haven’t touched a thing — checked it the other day, worked from here. But that’s my…
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread Oh! My edits worked! Praise nojo!