Happy Masturbation Month, Y’all!
Did you know that May is International Masturbation Month?
Well, what are you waiting for?
Get going, go on there and celebrate it!
[Good Vibrations via SFist]
I’ve been celebrating all year!!!
Sometimes twice a day when life gets really tense.
The Daily Show recently introduced me to one of my new favorite words: Procrasturbating – when you’ve got a ton of things to do, yet you’re jacking off instead (and who hasn’t been there, really–isn’t that why the FSM gave us the internet?)
/double fucking newsflash/
For those of us who’ve been desperately praying that Maya Angelou will read aloud the infamous Deranged Sorority Girl email, well, we’ll just have to keep waiting.
HOWEVER! A Morgan Freeman impersonator provided us with the next best thing. NSFW, obvs.
“Bitches got told,” indeed.
@¡Andrew!: I will email you privately a song that is entitled “Procrasturbation” by Atlanta’s favorite electrosex band, Le Sexoflex. When I get home.
@rptrcub: Le Soloflex? Sign. Me. Up.
@Andrew: I’m not going to dare venture to the site right now but I think the link is http://lesexoflex.bandcamp.com. Tumblr here.
@rptrcub: Time to start celebrating! At home – NSFW – yowza!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Gawd, you keep missing the target!
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! TACO Tuesday. The demented methhead next door blinked. Delay on trade war albeit…
SANFRANLEFTY • TRUMP FINISHES CEASE FIRE AGREEMENT WITH THE AYATOLLAH ! ! ! CHAINSAW!!!!
NOJO • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! @Beggars Biscuit: Yup, still here, if enjoying a long slumber.
BEGGARS BISCUIT • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! The drapery not really covering his name is not a feature, it’s part of the operating system.…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • Pop! Six! Squish! Uh-uh! Cicero! Lipschitz! Can't that dumb motherfucker get anything right? Now he's trying to Drill Baby Drill Greenland…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Ding fucking dong! The bitch is dayud!
NOJO • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 @JNOV: Does blockquote no longer work?Huh. Guess not.
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 Oh shit. “ Cuban state media reported that 32 Cubans were killed in the U.S. attacks in…
JNOV • Tom Lehrer, 1928-2025 So…. Does blockquote no longer work? Am I 2026’s only loser? (see blurb)