The Crap is as High as An Elephant’s Eye
Meet Al Gerhart. Al’s 54, an Oklahoma carpenter. Al’s also a cofounder of the Sooner Tea Party, which inclines him to send emails like this:
“Branan, Get that bill heard or I will make sure you regret not doing it. I will make you the laughing stock of the Senate if I don’t hear that this bill will be heard and passed. We will dig into your past, your family, your associates and once we start on you there will be no end to it. This is a promise.”
“Branan” is Cliff Branan, an Oklahoma state senator. Who — golly! — is a Republican. Cliff chairs the Energy and Environment Committee, which inclines him to receive emails discussing the issues of the day from civic-minded people like Al.
Cliff was so interested in Al’s email, he forwarded it to the Oklahoma Highway Patrol, which forwarded it to the Oklahoma State Bureau of Investigation, which forwarded it to the Oklahoma County District Attorney, because everybody in Oklahoma is interested in Al’s concerns.
And then — finally! — Al got some results. If by “results” you mean a $15,000 bail and judicial instructions to stay a thousand feet away from Cliff and his family. Which we do.
Because for some reason, sending an email like that qualifies Al for felony blackmail under Oklahoma law.
All well and good, but you might ask: What the hell got Al so riled up?
Seems Al wanted Cliff’s senate committee to take up a house bill, and Cliff was dragging his feet:
The bill prohibited any city, town or county from adopting or implementing policy recommendations established by the United Nations’ Agenda 21 sustainable development action plan. The House passed it 67-17. Supporters claimed the bill would protect the property rights of individual citizens, but Branan called it “a fringe conspiracy issue that is frankly just bad public policy.”
We don’t know about you, but Al made our day. Thank you, Al. Next time we need an Oklahoma license plate, we’ll request one of yours.