Guess who else has a secret audiotape?

So remember when Mitt Romney produced his super secret, 14 year old audio recording of then State Senator Barack Obama announcing that he supported some wealth re-distribution with the aim of giving everyone a “fair shot?” The audio tape pretty much hit the ground with a dull thud. After all, Obama wasn’t really saying anything more radical than that he supported such things as public education, pre-natal care, garbage collection, police and firefighters (all tax funded programs which are, by definition, possible only thanks to income re-distribution).

Well, it turns out that another politician has an old audio tape floating around, and that man is a fella by the name of Paul Ryan. Only this tape is not quite as old. It’s from 2005, and it was delivered to a gathering of Ayn Rand followers. And if you suspect that Ryan’s not quite so hot on income-redistribution you’d be right. Listen in rapt wonder as Ryan explains that Social Security is “a collectivist system, a welfare transfer system” and issues a thinly veiled call for the program’s privatization:

Probably the most eye opening moment in this audio recording is the point in which Ryan euphemistically refers to this plan as “personalizing” Social Security. Both Ryan and his audience are practically beside themselves with glee, giggling at the wording which, too clever by half, will nonetheless allow them to put one over on the rubes. The common folk are simple, see, and easily fooled. They don’t want the Social Security system privatized? Well, no problem. We’ll just say that we’re “personalizing” it for them, instead. And who could argue with that? It’s like a license plate that reads 65N SXY, or a set of bath towels with your initials on them.

After listening to the tape you almost feel sorry for the pathetic 47% and just how easy it is to fool them… almost…


I’m going to take your word for what’s on the tape. I would rather poke my eyes out with forks than listen to Ryan’s grating voice.

Why can’t we discuss assless chaps any more? Why? Why can’t we compare the properties of lube? Or the virtues of Asian boys? How far have we fallen? Why can’t we hate on Mike Lee? Have we all forgotten how much we hate Mike Lee? Have we? Have we forgotten when Mike Lee was about the worst there was in the world? Are we prepared to live in a world where Mike Lee is the norm? No, sir. For me Mike Lee will always be an abomination. Paul Ryan is the – OK ladies, and certain straight men, avert your eyes and do not read the following clause – is the head cheese squeezed from under the circumcision scars of teenagers at the height of their sexual ooziness. Paul Ryan cannot aspire to the dignity of Mike Lee. He will always be the crusted tube sock on the night stand of life.

And such as.

@Benedick: I’ve learned a lot, hanging around here. For example, I’ve never cared for John Edwards, but it would appear that others do, or would like to.

@Benedick: But if you’re interested in a wholesome discussion of female beach volleyball players, may I direct you to Flippin’s FB profile pic, greater than which there can be no other.

Only in the age of the “low information voter” can a tool like Ryan get away with suggesting that Social Security is a retirement fund.

If Social Security were “personalized” it would be a boon for Wall Street, but the half of the population that would actually invest for retirement (instead of giving the money to a televangelist) would see mixed results. Let’s be generous and say that half would actually make enough to fund their retirement. The remaining 75% of the population would face retirement with whatever other retirement vehicle they have in place – and the statistics don’t look good there. So, what would we do with millions of elderly people who can’t afford housing, food, or medical care?

BTW, dibs on the title, “The Compassionate Conservative’s Soylent Green Cookbook”.

@Benedick: Mike Lee is still history’s greatest monster, we’ve just been taking a rest. And as for the virtues of Asian boys, let’s discuss. I have a quarter-century of research I’d love to share.

The same goes for *AHEM* chaps…

@Benedick: @Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: Folsom Street Fair is tomorrow, it will be assless chaps and cockrings and nipple clamps as far as the eye can see.

@SanFranLefty: Don’t forget the mutant penii. Folsom Street is also a celebration of the distorted wang.

@SanFranLefty: Is this related to the Cal-USC game? Bears and Trojans, I mean, come on.

@Dodgerblue: Yes. Yes, it is. You might want to drop by. To show appreciation of the Wood.

@SanFranLefty: @Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: I don’t understand such events. I get terribly Casaubon and disapproving. Luckily no one’s invited me to go.

@Benedick: You would look adorable trotting around Folsom Street with nothing but an ascot tied around your …. neck.

And it was gorgeous warm weather today, which means the FSF forecast is fewer shriveled gonads.

@Dodgerblue: Unfortunately no, but how awesome would it be if Kal pulled off an upset?

@Tommmcatt May Just Have Some MJ In His System As Well, So What?: Jesus Christ, the spotted dicks and bent dicks at the Castro Safeway on Sunday evening test my patience and progressive nature. Especially when stuck on someone who shouldn’t be wearing the crotchless chaps, amirite?

Just saying…

@Dodgerblue: No mention of the Beavers? Oh, that’s right. Sorry about that, slugger.

How about them Dodg….ers. Um. Sorry. Go LA Rams?

@SanFranLefty: Hey, I’ve got Gnats v Dodgers tix for Oct 1, down here, yours if you want them.

@SanFranLefty: I honestly do not get that acting out in public. I would have thought it was time to grow up. Perhaps I don’t understand. I know I’d find it difficult to keep a civil tongue in my head. I have enough penile nightmares of my own without having to be confronted by those of others. I felt the same about Alien, mind you.

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