This post brought to you by Plato, Goethe and other obscure literary figures…

If you’d flipped though the pages of the Washington Post earlier today, you might have stumbled upon an article concerning the firing of University of Virginia President Teresa Sullivan. And if you’d read through the article you might have learned that Sullivan was ousted by a cadre of plutocrats appointed to the Board of Regents by the governor and tasked with the mission of cutting the University’s budget to the bone. And in the budgetary battle that pits academic excellence and integrity against a philosophy of Government that sees no room for public spending outside the Defense Department, Ms. Sullivan was seen as favoring the former at the expense of the latter. And if you’d scanned the aforementioned article for an example of Ms. Sullivan’s profligacy you would have come upon the following paragraphs:

The campaign to remove Sullivan began around October, the sources said. The Dragas group coalesced around a consensus that Sullivan was moving too slowly. Besides broad philosophical differences, they had at least one specific quibble: They felt Sullivan lacked the mettle to trim or shut down programs that couldn’t sustain themselves financially, such as obscure academic departments in classics and German.

And for a moment you’d scratch your head and wonder “obscure academic departments in classics and German?” And then it would dawn on you: My God.. The Washington Post actually seems to think I’m dumber than a bag of bricks, and what’s more, they seem to believe that even that’s too smart.

But you didn’t of course. Because, I mean, fuck’s sake: who reads so pathetic an excuse for a newspaper as the Washington Post? If you wanted to give yourself a lobotomy, you’d shove an ice-pick through the roof of your mouth and wiggle it around, back and forth and side to side, a few times. Much less painful and frustrating an experience than flipping through the pages of the fucking Washington Post.

Serolf Divad
8:00 pm • Sunday • June 17, 2012
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