That Explains Why Everybody Clears Hitler’s Bunker

[NY Daily News]

So, after reading the linked story I allowed myself to wander about the NY Post, free associating the “related stories” links, as it were. I now feel about 20% dumber than I did 15 minutes ago.

Perhaps the bodies were burned by accident, then.

@Serolf Divad: @Jesuswalksinidaho: It’s actually the News, not the Post. Different Plutocrat.

@nojo: I linqued to that Colorado bear story, and the photo made me laugh inappropriately.

@matador1015: Is that the Ex Bear? First the student photographer gets all pissed that the paper distributed the falling photo for a nominal fee, and now this.

Was the farting a consequence of the cocaine use or was it the other way around? It could be either.

It also adds a new dimension to future Hitler rants.

The gas was incorporated into the design of ME 262 as an alternative fuel, a necessity given the Reich’s loss of access to petroleum resources in Central Asia. Hilter experimented with herbs and cabbage on himself after his scientists dismissed his proposal to have the German jets powered exclusively by pilot flatulence. Hilter committed suicide before he could inaugurate his Flatunatics Institute.

@FlyingChainSaw: He refused to use borsht as a feedstock because he felt that it was “Jewish science.”

Hitlers doctor cooked up cocaine eyedrops for him. He needed pills to crash very early in the morning, slept most of the day, and needed the coke to get up. Obviously from the shame of fucking up everything he ever touched or thought. The Allies countered by having in Churchill a leader that did the same. Churchill used nicotine to greet each day sometime after the crack of noon and liquor to get to sleep in the morning for probably the same reason. Churchill made plenty blunders and mistakes but of course didn’t declare war on America and Russia in the same year. FDR had to switch to what he called “Winston Hours” when Churchill visited just to deal with him in a somewhat lucid manner.

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