The Day We All Became Lutheran Ministers

In a sweeping victory for common sense and Religious Freedom, the Supreme Court Wednesday affirmed the totally uncontroversial and obvious principle that religious organizations are pretty much above the law, the end, you can all go home now. In its ruling, the Roberts Court invalidated a lawsuit by a former church employee who maintained that she was discriminated against when she was fired by a Lutheran school for violating the strictures of the faith. Justice John Roberts echoed the voice of the majority when he noted:

“The interest of society in the enforcement of employment discrimination statutes is undoubtedly important, but so, too, is the interest of religious groups in choosing who will preach their beliefs, teach their faith and carry out their mission.”

And just what was the doctrinal crime of which Cheryl Perich, the fired employee, a teacher at a Lutheran school, was guilty? Was she preaching the merits of abortion in her classroom? Was she criticizing the Lutheran denomination’s use of white wine instead of red at services? Was she…. gasp… a practitioner of the love that dares not speak its name, a mild mannered church employee by day but wild, carpet munching Amazon harpie by night?

No. Cheryl Perich is a woman who suffers from narcolepsy, and her crime against the faith, her heresy, her doctrinal faux pas, was the unpardonable sin of pursuing an anti-discrimination lawsuit against her employer, based on a failure to accommodate her disability:

Ms. Perich was a “called” teacher who had completed religious training and whom the school considered a minister. She was fired, the school said, for violating religious doctrine by pursuing litigation rather than trying to resolve her dispute within the church.

Read that, then read it again. Take a second to let it sink in. The Lutheran church basically declared any act that harms its financial interests or the financial interests of its subsidiaries to be in violation of church doctrine. It really is astonishing how forward looking the Lutheran Jesus really was, isn’t it? He even went as far as to preach that its a sin to sue your religiously affiliated employer for discrimination.

In the interests of balance, I should note that there’s a catch, though, a caveat if you will: you are only barred from suing the church if you’re a minister. Heavens to Betsy! How will Christianity survive this legal loophole that’s clearly wide enough to drive a coven of witches though? Simple. In John Roberts’ America, we’re all Lutheran ministers!

“The question whether an employee is a minister is itself religious in nature, and the answer will vary widely,” he wrote. “Judicial attempts to fashion a civil definition of ‘minister’ through a bright-line test or multifactor analysis risk disadvantaging those religious groups whose beliefs, practices and membership are outside of the ‘mainstream’ or unpalatable to some.”

In a second concurrence, Justice Samuel A. Alito Jr., joined by Justice Elena Kagan, wrote that it would be a mistake to focus on ministers, a title he said was generally used by Protestant denominations and “rarely if ever” by Roman Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Hindus or Buddhists. Nor, Justice Alito added, should the concept of ordination be at the center of the analysis.

Rather, he wrote, the exception “should apply to any ‘employee’ who leads a religious organization, conducts worship services or important religious ceremonies or rituals, or serves as a messenger or teacher of its faith.”

So now we have a Supreme Court ruling  that effectively expands the extent to which an organization that claims to be religiously affiliated can step outside the norms that society has imposed upon secular employers, dangerously expanding a precedent that has seen, among other things, the rise of a poorly regulated daycare industry that escapes minimal standards of safety and qualifications by claiming religious exemption (when Jesus is taking care of your kids, what could possibly go wrong?).

So welcome the the new America, where the church and Wall Street both enjoy sovereign immunity.

Big business and religious hucksters own the place. The rest of us are just guests here.