Also, Ted Haggard is Not a Celebrity

“Former New Life Church pastor and self-described ‘bisexual’ Ted Haggard swapped wives with actor and self-described ‘church’ Gary Busey for the ABC reality show Celebrity Wife Swap.” [TPM]


what a shame. the actor who ably portrayed buddy holly and co-starred along side willie nelson in barbarossa is reduced to swapping wives with ted haggard in the absolute lowest form of american alleged entertainment, “reality shows”. why do abc, nbc, cbs, and fox even bother to exist anymore? the only answer is to provide something for prescription drug addled, sub-elementary school mental level americans to stare at as their pitiful lives dwindle away.

I’m unfamiliar with those show and don’t know what a “swap” entails in that context, going for coffee or full blown adultery?

@redmanlaw: Managing the family. Two families with diametrically opposed views trade wives. Each wife makes new rules, hubby and kids immediately rebel; hilarity ensues. Sex is not an issue because of the white-hot hatred between the husband and the swapped wife.

@jwmcsame: Note how drugs are the common thread in all the subjects of your comment.

@matador1015: Or, in this case, the queenly dignity of one of the husbands.

@matador1015: everyone of my comments? nfl teams now hire quality control coaches to study their own teams tendencies in an effort not to telegraph intentions to the opponent. i reckon i need to do the same.

i realize that last post was a little too offensive and negative. so on the positive side, here’s a little something for all to watch. check out thievery corporation live at the 9:30 club on the documentary channel. you can even enjoy it stone cold sober.

@jwmcsame: i realize that last post was a little too offensive and negative.

We’ll have no offensiveness and negativity around here, mister.

@jwmcsame: I, too, thought it said comments, plural, at first. But drugs is the common thread among Gary Busey, Willie Nelson, Ted Haggard (his rentboy supplied him with meth), and our over-prescribed populace.

@matador1015: What’s a wife swap without the savage illicit pestorking?

@nojo: i enjoy offending and negating some folks. that’s why i am pretty much permanently banned from posting on my local newspaper’s site here in east teabaggessee. i was afraid i might have offended reality show fans who read and post here. my dad still tells me that it is better to build up than break down. i don’t always listen though.

@jwmcsame: i was afraid i might have offended reality show fans who read and post here.

And who admit to it?

@FlyingChainSaw: certainly not something shown on the hustler channel. larry showed the lesbian stepdaughter exchange club the other morning and made me late for work. larry has class though. he called it step daughter instead of regular daughter to avoid the messy immorality of incest. smart move on his part. i need to email santorum and get his thoughts on the matter.

@jwmcsame: I am sure Senator Fuckfroth will be thrilled at your bipartisanism.

@nojo: i once admitted to watching housewives of new jersey or some such. the tall chick with short black hair who got scammed by the fake italian prince added a few pounds to the old hydraulics. i kept the volume down low of course.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: In sooooo many ways! I’d love to talk about it — is anyone NOT caught up?

@jwmcsame: Some of the Real HWs OC and NYC were pretty funny.


It’s the TV version of a perpetual motion machine – since the viewers can now *be* the program…

Who were those assholes that crashed some state dinner to get a show?

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Okay. Team Shane for one. (I know.) and Winchell and GLENN! And SOPHIA! And Darryl or whatever.

@JNOV is like, Peace?: GLEN. Yum. Classic Taiwan/Hong Kong Features, Phoenix eyes, SO LOVELY.

@nojo: GROUPIE SLUT! That’s a fucking compliment!

(Thanks for the link!)

Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. And the palimony suit‽ Okay. That’s pretty funny and scary and funny.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Glenn is incredibly hot. Have you seen any of the interviews with him? Really nice hair, too. They have to keep that cap on him to cool off the hotness. I’m soooo glad he met The Farmer’s Daughter.

I’m in the middle of important stuff BUT…

@jwmcsame: Offensive? This is where offensive comes home after being butfucked by Karl Rove. This is the offensive pantheon. This is where assless chaps meet Birks ‘n’ socks. This is where fanboys mouth the words to the pirated video of the Sarah Brightman Harem tour (what they do with tube socks and moisturizer we don’t need to think about as that way madness lies). We only draw the line at mocking the size of Catt’s ass these days. As in: Wow! You made it through that doorway. Did not see that coming. That is out of bounds. We are a loving community that cherishes its right to offend. Try the veal.

Oh and plus, you are going to learn more about buttfucking, fashion (the brown shoe/blue suit paradigm), heavy metal (I have no idea what that means), Happy Villagers, Sport, and fonts. Did I miss anything team?

But no. Offense, no. Though I have taken off on tangents in the past and behaved badly, slandering decent and well-meaning members of the clan. I put myself into temporary banishment but found myself drawn back: as the actress said to the bishop.

Big news. I have a call back. I am actually considering a return to the musical stage. It’s all about health insurance and solitude. 5-6-7-8 –

You wanna see free markets? Here it is. I’m the one in the green jazz pants. If you didn’t ever see this in a theatre I’m sorry. Your unfulfilled life can still count. But not much. This is but a pale simulacrum. But Michael Bennet explains fascism for America.

Sidebar: This show saved Broadway. So said the head of the most powerful and invested producers: the Shuberts. When Manhattan was too scary for white folk, when the curtain went up at 7:30, A Chorus Line arrived and conquered the world. Sidebar sidebar: It also saved the Public where it began. Much of it is glorious.

Happy memory here is being felt up by the book writer at the back of Her Majesty’s in London. And then…

cf, @jwmcsame: That’s what I mean. TMI is our stock in trade.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: It’s pretty inexplicable that he didn’t get tail sooner.

@al2o3cr: Back when they used to show the fights on Jerry Springer, I made a decision. I thought, “JNOV — if anyone from Springer/Montel/Povich calls, don’t go. Just don’t go.”

I was pissed that I was three years too old to be on the first Real World. I stopped watching that forever after poor Ruthie. The first ones were not that bad.

Jersey Shore. Yeah. I broke down and streamed the first season. I’d fuck Pauly D. sideways, and I’d rock a Snookie Poof. Ronnie was a decent juicehead at one point, but The Situation made me sick. GTL!

@Benedick: Green? I see blue. And jazz pants are bell bottoms? Let’s see your jazz hands, Baby!

@Benedick: OK, my wife and kids are going to want your autograph now. Do you still have the headband?

@Benedick: WITH THE HEADBAND? OMG! Gorgeous! No wonder you got so much dick work. <3

@Benedick: You look like a Scottish Stag!

Really, this made my fucking day!

@Benedick: With the longish hair? The colors are funky, so it’s difficult to tell what’s green.

@Benedick: Angry Birds is really not important stuff. I’m so stoked about your callback. You know what to do ;-P

@Benedick: My vinyl cast album leaves you uncredited.

@Benedick: Break a leg! (I hope it’s a proper usage in a callback).

The video is way cool. Primarily to see Benedick in action and wearing the fashions of my youth. But also, Chorus Line was Son #2’s big high school musical – a nice bit of synchronicity.

@matador1015: Offended? Not me. I remember when Larry Flynt could walk. I just found the narcotic connections fascinating.

You dear sweet funny people. My first auditions in 6 years and I got to be Justin Bateman’s father and now I am being recalled to play the homo-fussbudget in Mame. This is not a job for a grown up.

I’m touched you could think I could ever dance that show. Though I spent time in London with Matt Mattox who was a fan of my muscles (he wasn’t alone). He was one of the 7 bros in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, the one swinging the axe in Lonesome Polecat, and urged me to go full dance belt but the trouble is that the brain gets in the way. The dancer’s life is short and harsh.

I don’t know if I can spare the time to do this show. I like the place. It’s not far. Weekends at home. But I will read the sides and sing Stiff Upper Lip from Crazy For You. Note for noje: I sing that on the original cast recording.

@Benedick: Tell Justin I’m sorry It’s Your Move was cancelled. And to call me.

@Benedick: He sings! He dances! He writes! If I had talent like that, I would have had a long career as an NFL quarterback and would now be a highly-paid ESPN hack working weekends only.

TJ/ Why does England seem to have the best concerts? I mean, the audience seems so different.

@Dodgerblue: But now you keep us from hacking. That’s pretty important. I can almost see the LA skyline on the descent.

@Benedick: Never heard of that show, but yes, there’s documentary confirmation.

Oh dear FSM!. Not much else of the original Bway production was recorded but it was pretty grand. I was a Limey loony. The man dancing in the clip is a remarkably fine actor. His suit was made in midnight blue. The women are in pink. The set replicates the Ziegfeld theatre. The women are wearing hose that cost $60 a pair and could only be worn once.

@Benedick: So do they haul all the sets to Radio City for the Tonys, or what?

(He asks because he doesn’t recall ever watching the Tonys.)

@Benedick: Re: Metal – Englishman Rob Halford, the singer for Judas Priest, took the leather bar look on to the concert stage and single-handedly created the 80s “heavy metal” look. Mr Halford threw me out of a meeting once when I was backstage at a Priest rehersal as a college newspaper reporter, where I met the guitar and bass players, who gave me a tour of the stage. Totally nice guys who let us have dinner with them and get wasted.

I don’t get dance as an art form, but I appreciate the skill. As for myself, I’ll be wearing a dried animal head for our King’s Day Buffalo Dance tomorrow at the Ancestral Homeland. Tomorrow night it’ll be the heating bad on my knee and a martini in hand.

@JNOV is like, Peace?: Bands that tour worldwide sometime try to get a soccer chant going here, only to see it die in an American rodeo shed, like when I last saw Metallica.

drugs? are we talking about drugs? so, my groovy daddy, who you’ve all come to know, is riding the train, as in cocaine. as if i needed to explain that to THIS group.
they can’t fix him. we are in “keep him comfortable” mode. what that means is, every day he goes to a “pain management doc” who sticks acupuncture needles into his face, first dipping them into COCAINE. i am told the waiting room is full of the ill and elderly who sit in the waiting room with needles sticking out their faces and jabbering away telling their life stories. i’ll be in nyc in a few weeks, and i must see this show! Benedick, are you coming with me?

@baked: I expect a full field report from you two correspondents about this Old Folks’ Crack Den. After witnessing that, you’ll need to go drinking at the Friars’ Club and have bloggie join you too.

@Benedick: Wow, really casting against type there. Hats off to the director! Out of the box, so to speak…

@baked: I’ve always disliked cocaine. Too little bang for the buck.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: I don’t think I want to do it. Extended periods of making a fool of myself don’t seem quite as attractive these days.

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