Oh, The Inhumanity!

As Bill O’Reilly says, sort of, Candidates Rise, Candidates Fall. They always rise, and always fall. And as Newt is now discovering, you can’t explain that.

So who is now on the rise? (Hint: It sure as hell ain’t Former Senator Frothy Mix.) Why, none other than the man who bestowed the 2008 campaign with one of History’s Greatest Visual Metaphors! The Blimp is back, baby!

Which makes us more than usually shitfaced drunk pleased to welcome you to our GOP Debate Open Thread/Balloon Boy Revival. Because nothing says “love” like spelling it backwards.


Taking a Bill O’Reilly multiple-choice quiz, Doocey thinks it was ironic that Irving Berlin wrote “White Christmas” because he was…

…an atheist.

Note that “Jewish” was an offered choice.

Twenty seconds to get that first beer open…

Give Fox credit: They skip the reality-show intro everybody else has been using. Although maybe reality show is the right vibe.

Live from Sioux City! Can’t wait until they get to bashing folks coming to this country uninvited.

Three minutes in, Newt gets the first Reagan reference!

Opening questions to Newt: Are you batshit crazy, sir? Are you sure about that?

Newt says he’s spent twenty years “in the military, teaching one- and two-star generals the art of war.”

Ron Paul gets the next question — ahead of Mittens. Welcome to the Show!

Next up: Frothy mix!

Oh, and Megyn’s on the panel.

If not for Frothy Mix, I’d totally go with the Gob angle.

Honestly: who let Megyn Kelly in the room. That woman flat out scares me.

Have to go holiday shopping. But: I’ve already hit my quota — I lasted about 1:30 before hitting mute.

First round of questions are somewhat pointed, asking each candidate about their electoral weaknesses. Much better than ABC’s mess last weekend.

Boy — Michelle Bachmann is probably gonna get run out in her Congressional race, and she doesn’t even know it yet.

Deranger Rick sounds like an Ex who just won’t let go.

Answering question about how he would face Obama in a debate: “I hope I am the Tim Tebow of the Iowa caucuses.”

Huntsman: “I’m not gonna show up at a Donald Trump debate.”

This line brought to you from last week.

Did Perry just mention Tebow.

WE GET IT, RICK. YOU’RE HOT FOR JESUS. (Except for those times when you sign death warrants. You’re more Pontius Pilate at those particular moments.) FUCKING STOP ALREADY.

@nojo: Here a little something I just ran across about Ron Paul.

He’s a Vile Racist.

Who knew?

@chicago bureau: Megyn’s coming off better than Diane Sawyer. Granted, low bar.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Can’t check at the moment, but does that refer to the early-90s newsletters?

Newt: “Saul Alinsky radical”. Nobody trots out the bumper stickers better.

BTW: public service announcement — I’ve been on the bench for a while now, but it’s about time I step it up. So some posts will start coming from me. Soon. If you’ll allow.

Crazy Eyes is using heavy-duty eyeliner tonight. Where’s Callista?

Commercial break!

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Ah. If I recall, Paul’s answer four years ago is that he fired the newsletter editor who published that tripe, or something like that. You’re welcome to respond that he didn’t read it before publishing it under his name?

One thing before I go shopping: here’s the problem facing all of these guys?

If one GOP big (a state chair or higher, Limbaugh, etc.) comes with something racist, it will be hard to distance or rub off the stench. And you KNOW somebody’s gonna say something stupid. It will happen, and will eat two cable-news days and two percentage points.

Why, yes, I will have another satisfying Newcastle!

Mittens: If Obama attacks me for layoffs, I’ll ask how many car dealerships GM closed.

Someone’s been working on that line.

@nojo: @chicago bureau: Are you guys trying to throw up or what? I don’t know how you can watch these things again and again.

Newt: “I worked for years with Habitat for Humanity.”


@Tommmcatt: truth? This is the first one I’ve watched. And I’m barely watching. The volume is way down.

In fact: fuck it. I gotta shop for toys now.

Deranger Rick plugs the part-time Congress again. So everyone can return to their farms.

I think Newt just endorsed FDR’s court-packing scheme.

Newt: “As a historian…”

Left unsaid: …at a third-rate Georgia college.

Crazy Eyes objects to courts being “the final arbiter of law”. It’s 1801 all over again! Or whatever the year-before was. Unlike Newt, I’m not a third-rate historian.

When everyone is given a chance to name their favorite Supreme Court justice, only Crazy Eyes mentions Clarence Thomas.

Commercial break!

An hour in, and blah. Everybody’s being polite, on the whole. The questions are pointed, but nobody’s taking the bait.

Ron Paul: Iran “is another Iraq coming. There’s a lot of war propoganda coming on.”

The problem with Ron Paul, as always, is everything else.

Frothy Mix: Iran has been at war with America since 1979. Just look at all those IEDs killing our soldiers!

In Iowa? In Kansas? The coasts? No. They’re killing Americans in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Soft pitch from Baier to Mittens on the Iran drone: Tell us how wrong Obama is to ask for it back.

Not asked: How would you get it back.

I mention this because Baier’s questions are pretty good, on the whole.

Crazy Eyes is picking a fight with Ron Paul. Wait! Wait! He’s not the frontrunner yet!

A hundred minutes in, and Deranger Rick manages four examples in a row. Personal Best!

@nojo: Darling. Rest. Stroke a cat. Spend some time on youtube with the pandas. Do whatever you need to do on your iPornPad. HairyDaddies.com. Whatever. You deserve some “up” time leading to release. None of us will judge you. Well, maybe Catt will but that’s because he’s so bitter. That’s not your fault. Get some good lube and relax.

@Benedick: I’m playing Angry Birds until they say something interesting.

@nojo: I’m watching Person of Interest and relying on you to keep me informed when one of them shits the bed.

Hitch just died, kids.

Where’s my whiskey?

@nojo: I caught a clip of this Meghyan person on Colbert or something and she reminded me of Avery Jessup on “The Hot Box.”

@IanJ: Saw that just now, and not entirely sure how I feel.

I will also point out that Gore Vidal is yet alive, and I am having trouble processing this ….

@blogenfreude: Well, being a godless heathen myself, I was always at least nominally in favor of his work. However, in actual practice, I suspect he’s about as extremist as all the other extremists, and I’ve decided that I don’t dislike Christians or Muslims or right-wingers or left-wingers or eee-lites or rednecks or anybody else until they pull the Extreme card. Then they get on my nerves something fierce. I never paid close enough attention to Hitch to let him get on my nerves, but I have a feeling he would have.

@blogenfreude: @IanJ: I admired his intelligence, his wit, and his way with words. I often disagreed with what he said, but I liked the way he said it. I’ll miss his writing.

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