Odds and Ends…

A few stories you may or may not have missed this week (perfect for watercooler conversation breaks, or ending that moment of awkward silence on your next blind date):

It’s been a while since we’ve heard from John McCain (thank God) but the Arizona Republican is back in the news this week, criticizing Barack Obama for driving around in an ugly bus. No, I’m not making this up. Apparently John McCain is incensed that the president has taken to the road promoting his jobs plan in a bus that doesn’t meet John McCain’s exacting aesthetic standards. Also, some of it was manufactured in Canada (did you have something to do with this Manchucandidate?!) It’s just too bad both George W. Bush and John McCain himself have gone on tour in buses manufactured by the same American company that outfitted Obama’s ugly bus… oops!

Mitt Romney, meanwhile has unveiled his plan to get the American economy back on track, and it’s an eminently sensible one: kick people out of their homes (by expediting foreclosure proceedings) so that his Wall Street buddies can buy the homes at firesale prices and rent them out to the folks they just evicted…. yaaaay everybody (who matters) wins! Political commentators are citing this pan as another example of Mitt Romney being “politically tone deaf.” To the rest of us, though it’s just another example of Mitt Romney being “a rich asshole.”

In corporate self-governance news: a deadly outbreak of Lysteria has sickened hundreds and claimed the lives of at least 25 people. Investigators have traced the outbreak to a Colorado packing shed that was rife with the bacterium. Surprisingly enough, the plant has only recently been inspected by a private company (hired by the packing plant itself) and received a score of 96% for its sparkling, sanitary excellence. Hurrah for corporate self-regulation. When Ron Paul becomes president and gets the government “out of our lives and off our backs” this is how all safety and health inspections will be carried out.

A recent Tea Party panel has issued its recommendations on eliminating the Federal deficit: they include the eliination of programs that actually save the government money, and eliminating government waste, but do not include significant reductions in Medicare or Social Security (surprise, surprise). So basically, they got nothin’…not that that’s anything we didn’t already know,


Gubbiment under the GOP can be summed up as “Government of the dipshit, by the dumbest dipshit, for the richest dipshit”

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