This Ain’t Your Father’s Newton

Back before Steve Jobs returned to Apple, the company introduced a Magical Gadget that promised to change the way you live.

It, um, didn’t work out.

This time around, instead of handwriting recognition, Apple promised voice recognition — and not just simple commands, but contextual understanding of requests.

It’s the kind of thing that could have gone terribly, terribly wrong.

Or it could become a cultural event.

We don’t have the new iPhone – we’re still on contract with the old one – and we don’t have an emotional stake in Apple products, other than the pleasure of using them. But our introduction to computers involved punchtape and a teletypewriter. Ours may not be the life of someone who lived through the Wright Brothers and the Moon Landing, but we’re starting to understand the feeling.

[via Daring Fireball]

OMG. Now I want one i the worst possible way. Anyone want to buy a pug?

Goes to show how up (and confused) I am on this. I was wondering why guys would sing songs about marrying Tom Cruise’s daughter.

Majel Barrett’s voice or no sale.

@Benedick: I’m this close to getting one. My 3GS has blinking out on me more and more, as if to say “Steve wants you to say goodbye to me“.

@¡Andrew!: I keep thinking about the joke in the Trek movie where Scotty tries to command a mouse.

@Nabisco: Want it, want it want it…. noooooooooooooowwwwww! WANT IT! (do not need it) WANT!! I want THAT PHONE. Talk to me, Siri. Tell me you love me.

here’s a pickle: do I get the Verizon version or the unlocked aka AT&T? If I buy an unlocked one can I keep my phone number (since it’s known to as many as 6 people)? Any of you straight men out there care to inform me (yes, I could ask at the Apple Store but I’d rather whine)

@Benedick: Just wait for the iPhone 5 with prostate iMassage. You’ll be glad you did.

@Benedick: The upgrade price from a still-on-contract 4 is $450, so I figure I’ll wait another year…

If your AT&T reception is good, I’d recommend them — you get faster download speeds that way, plus the ability to talk on a call while you run apps. Verizon can’t walk and chew gum at the moment.

@¡Andrew!: With iOS5, you can customize the silent-buzz pattern. Pretty close to iMassage.

@Benedick: Talk to me, Siri. Tell me you love me.

User: “I love you.”

Siri: “Oh, stop.”

User: “Will you marry me?”

Siri: “Let’s just be friends.”

Some geeks had a lot of fun creating this.

@¡Andrew!: With Apple, there’s always a happy ending.

@nojo: Shit Siri Says is hilarious.

I WANT IT!!!!! I want to be able to do cool stuff. And like synch and shit. Now I’m in the Cloud what do I do???

Personally, I’m waiting for the cheezy Android knock-off that won’t work as well, but will nevertheless include far more inappropriate responses to marriage proposals.

@IanJ: Meet Iris. She puts out way more than Siri.

Woo! Your network down in SD has some of my fingerprints on it… back when I was paid and working.

@nojo: My upgrade from 3GS is $350 for only 8giggles, but only because AT&T rejiggered our plan when we adopted a second iFon and they reset my contract without my consent. Officially I’m three years into my technomarriage. I’d have to wait until February to trade up for less coin.

@¡Andrew!: I have a Blackberry. If you want to mock me, get in line behind my kids.

@Dodgerblue: I mocked you via email last week. Did you receive it?

@nojo: No, I don’t have anything after our discussion of Conrad Murray’s bedside manner. So to speak.

@flippin eck: Ask and ye shall receive. The internet delivers again. Downloading the alpha version of Iris even now. We’ll see if my phone crashes horribly in one minute, or three minutes.

Update: no horrible crashes, but Iris is about as silly as one would expect.

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