We Ain’t Sayin’ Nuthin’

Oscar and Felix.

Yes.

Plus your hair is receding. We live in an age of ideals. Maybe we have ‘plus-size’ models in the Penny catalog but you still can’t be preznint if you look like that.

And you can’t be a Republican ‘candidate’ if you let yourself be photographed with your arm around Satan after a tryst at the Ho Ho Kus Holiday Inn. It’s not gonna happen.

Oh and plus, another man whose influence is only exceeded by his waist size has already denounced you on his radio ‘show’. That’s right, big guy, Limbaugh called you McCain.

Good God, what is his wife feeding him? I’m guessing it’s not salad. Not that one is judgmental in any way but jeepers. I could stand to lose a few pounds myself (speaking of which, I hear Catt broke the scale at his gym. Again) and certainly I don’t claim to be perfect but here in the US we only elect CILFs – Candidates I’d Like to Fuck. We are not Syria.

By the by, as we say, the preznint will be addressing the HRC gala this evening. Expect the sky to fall around 8 EST.

No word yet on whether he’ll bring Christie along. And when will some bright spark shop a dog collar on him?

I remember John Goodman’s line from The West Wing when he was touted as a presidential replacement: “I’m a steak dinner away from a heart attack.”

Fettucine Alfredo is a helluva drug.

Anyone else read the Sports Illustrated article on Bear running back Walter Payton after his career ended? Dude was a fucking dog after he quit the game but that’s what happens to cats that are idolized from 18-32 years of age. Makes me think that NFL needs a senior league for dudes who can’t quit or, sadly, who need the money cuz they blew career paychecks on 2,000 gallon fishtanks, tigers, strippers and child support for six kids by four different women.