Our guest columnist is the governor of the great state of Texas, writing in 2001. See if you can find all the red flags!

The fruits of NAFTA have just begun to ripen. At the same time, we must not allow the roots of the tree to become poisoned. The NAFTA agreement not only signaled a new era of economic possibility, but a new era of bi-national cooperation. That is why it is wrong, and inherently detrimental to our relationship with Mexico for the U.S. Congress to pursue a protectionist policy that forbids Mexican trucks from U.S. roadways. It is bad public policy, and it violates the terms of the NAFTA agreement we agreed to. Mexican trucks that meet our safety standards should be given the same access to U.S. roads as our Canadian neighbors to the north…

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“Actor and ‘Lawman’ Steven Seagal is being sued for conducting a raid on an Arizona man’s home alongside deputies of Sheriff Joe Arpaio, which allegedly resulted in the accidental death of the man’s puppy… The raid was taped for an episode of Seagal’s A&E reality show, Steven Seagal: Lawman.” [TPM]

HuffPo: “An Arizona Republican fundraiser is offering as a prize the same type of gun used in the attempted assassination of Arizona Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords.” Well, same brand. One’s a Glock 23. The other’s a Glock 19. And they’re not raffling a 31-round magazine.

Our guest columnist is Chapter 798 of the Florida Statutes.

798.01 Living in open adultery.—Whoever lives in an open state of adultery shall be guilty of a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083. Where either of the parties living in an open state of adultery is married, both parties so living shall be deemed to be guilty of the offense provided for in this section.

798.02 Lewd and lascivious behavior.—If any man and woman, not being married to each other, lewdly and lasciviously associate and cohabit together, or if any man or woman, married or unmarried, engages in open and gross lewdness and lascivious behavior, they shall be guilty of a misdemeanor of the second degree, punishable as provided in s. 775.082 or s. 775.083.

775.082 (4) A person who has been convicted of a designated misdemeanor may be sentenced as follows: (b) For a misdemeanor of the second degree, by a definite term of imprisonment not exceeding 60 days.

775.083 (1) A person who has been convicted of a noncriminal violation may be sentenced to pay a fine. Fines for designated crimes and for noncriminal violations shall not exceed: (e) $500, when the conviction is of a misdemeanor of the second degree or a noncriminal violation.

Unmarried? Living together? You’re breaking the law in Florida [McClatchy]

In which the famed conductor puts down his baton:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlURvraEmeY