The Lord is My Wingman
Missouri’s Republican lieutenant governor Peter Kinder, recently photographed at a family establishment where “Every night’s a pantless party!”, would like you to know that he was really doing God’s Work:
In his first interview on the topic, Kinder, a Republican from Cape Girardeau who is widely expected to run for governor next year, said he first visited Diamond Cabaret in Sauget after a baseball game in St. Louis when he was a state senator in the mid-1990s. After that, he said, he returned about 10 times. He said he saw [Tammy] Chapman, a former Penthouse Magazine model who worked there as a dancer.
Kinder said he stopped visiting the club after he concluded that it contradicted his religious beliefs.
“I came to realize that this is not consistent with my upbringing. I’m a Christian,” he said. “I was raised in a good family, and I thought, you know, continuing to go there is leading me down the wrong path.”
Mr. Kinder was born in 1954, which would make his Peter in its forties when he visited the strip joint ten times before The Lord informed him that Jesus would keep it zipped.
Peter Kinder answers stripper allegations [STL Today, via TPM]
It took 10 times to realize staring at non wifey “boobs” is ebil (sic)? Riiiiight.
Does it somehow make it better that his first visit was after a baseball game? “Well, I was bummed because the Cards lost, I was looking for the exit, next thing I knew this girl’s boobs were in my face.”
@Dodgerblue:
Yes, till you find out what he did with mom and apple pie.
I believe W established that any peccadillo committed before age 49 as a “youthful indiscretion.”
It took him awhile to realize his righteous staff had turned into a snake–with a stupid grin on its face.
@Mistress Cynica: I’ve got 6 more years then! Bring on the whores and blow!!!!!
BATS! Four, I think, kiting above the lawn. Refugees of the great plague that has decimated the local population. We love bats. I want to bring them here to shelter in our trees, offer aspirin and hot lemon drinks to get them well.
If a bat gets in your bedroom and it isn’t Kellan Lutz, open the windows, turn off the lights, and leave the room. If it is Kellan Lutz offer nearest vein. If vein is hard and throbbing – it’s all good.
Today is Bill Clinton’s 65th birthday.
@Dodgerblue: Hokay. So how many left-handed prezes have we had and how many were Leos?
1. Clinton (both)
2. Obama (both)
3. G.H.W.B. (left-handed Gemini. meh)
4. BJ (both but not prez)
5. Hoover (both)
6. Truman (handed only)
7. Ford – Leslie Lynch King, Jr? (handed only)
8. Reagan (I call bullshit)
9. Mellbell (both, yah?)
@ManchuCandidate: No, no, it’s okay, he’s never been married.
@JNOV: We may dodge the bullet of a Perry presidency then. He’s a right-handed Piscean.
This picture up top, is it before and after the surgery?
@karen marie has her eyes tight shut: Ewww, so am I.
@JNOV: Interesting. So we’ve had at least two presidents who took their last name from their stepfather. Also, who’s BJ?
@JNOV:
Wut about lesbian left-handed albino midget eskimos? :)
@JNOV: Now I get it.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Sen. sENEMA has a career ahead of her in giving designer psychedelic enemas to trust-fund…
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…