We’re All in This Together

The Preznit of These United States will be speaking to Our Exceptional Indebted Nation at 9 p.m. ET, in order to explain the necessary Austerity Measures that will only affect the Already Austere. If you’d like to see how millionaires speak to peasants, tune in.


Something tells me this whole show is not going to do my bout of moderate depression any good.

Re the alt-text, a pilot friend of mine once said, in reference to flying a plane into a mountain, that it’s not the height that gets you, it’s the density.

Oh, and Boehner’s following. As someone more clever than me pointed out, Bachmann’s missing an opportunity.

@nojo: QUICK CONTEST: How fast does Agent Orange drop a reference to “job creators” in his rebuttal?

I have 1:25. Place your bets, bitches.

Eff that ess. I’m watching The Closer.

Two things — America’s Got Talent on beforehand on NBC is a nice jutxaposition to the dreck to come.

Also: are you guys aware that the Peacock Web is remaking Prime Suspect? Horrors.

@chicago bureau: Contest #2: When Boehner rips off his mask, who does he reveal?

@mellbell: That’s two nights in a row that Rachel’s been pre-empted.

I’ve got the speech on the radio, at work. If he holds up Cantor’s bloody head, I’m gonna miss it.

Has Obama ever done one of these from the Oval Office?

@chicago bureau: Obama beat Boehner to the reference.

Blames Bush for the deficit without naming him. Good.

“I won’t bore you with the details.” Thanks for that, eh?


“Put us on a path to pay down our debt.” Like in 2016?

@mellbell: Yeah. I’m catching up on Weeds.

Barry drops the 98% number on us. It sounds good, but it never does resonate for some reason.

I like the hedge fund manager vs. secretary line. Eat the rich!

@nojo: But how will the kids get to camp? Oh — private jets.

“Compromise is a dirty word.” Steeerike!

No, I’m fed up with that whole rich people thing. I really don’t care about bipartisanship.

C’mon, Barry, play the bin Laden card.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: My guess? Proper fucked. But let’s see the Marlboro Man first to see just how bad.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Same as it ever was. He didn’t really say anything — just made a case for compromise.

I apologize to the neighbors for breaking out in an uncontrollable cackling laugh.

He’s still on Cut Cap and Balance. NEXT!

“The President would not take ‘yes’ for an answer.” Way to flip that script.

Among the Tea Party’s hostages is the Speaker of the House.

Principal Skinner here is running out of sound bites. Or, at least, he should be.

DARPA really needs to get on time-travel research so 2011 Boehner can sternly lecture 2001 Boehner.

Look — I think the President did well here. But did he do the job out there in the wider nation? My guess is “no.”

Bohener called the GOP House plan “bi-partisan.” What a joke. It got 3 Democratic votes.

It’s just pathetic to contrast the speeches. Why are Democrats afrais to take the gloves off.

@chicago bureau: That’s the thing. Obama presented a backgrounder. A clear, well-expressed backgrounder, but nothing more. Neither bully, nor pulpit.

@Serolf Divad: Obama couldn’t even call out teabaggers by name — all his soft punches were by reference, “a part of the Republican Party”, stuff like that. I can understand the tactical reasons for that approach, but it comes off very tepid.

Gawd, Lawrence O’Donnell pisses me off.

@nojo: At least once (the Gulf spill speech).

@nojo: Me too. He’s like a little old lady when he gets pissy.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: All heat, no light. So he wins a meaningless debating point with a teabagger. Whoopee.

I just love being trapped in the trunk of a car that a bunch of idiots is driving off a cliff. Thank heavens I bought a 25 lb bag of rice while US currency is still being accepted.

@Mistress Cynica: Whatchoo got? I’ve got 25 lbs of Basmati. We can trade.

Seriously, I’ve started bartering with my neighbors. One gives me fresh basil he’s grown; I give him gazpacho. One gave me a glass of wine, I gave her garlic potato soup. Good thing I’m about to move to a house with a big vegetable garden. We’ll probably have to set man-made death traps and possibly eat the koi. Fuck duty to warn — this is cannibal anarchy.

@JNOV: I have a hella shitton of lettuce. (Yes, “hella shitton” is an official measurement in NorCal, usually w/r/t weed).

They’re about the only thing that grows in these 60 degree summer temps – our dreams of tomatoes are dashed for a second year in a row. Oh, and rosemary and fucking zucchini. Zucchini will survive the nuclear holocaust and cannibal anarchy along with the cucarachas.

@JNOV: @SanFranLefty: I’ve got plain old Cali medium grain rice, a garden full of herbs, chard, dandelions, and a bunch of green tomatoes and figs that may or may not ripen, depending on if we can get the temp over 75 for a few days.

@SanFranLefty: See, we gotta protect land, and we need compost and manure and non-exploding Monsanto seeds and shit. What kinda lettuce do you have? Grow the dark stuff. Hell, we should even have a dandelion patch. And some bees. A few chickens and a quiet rooster would be nice. We need to get in touch with that seed washer from Food, Inc. I was hinky about racial violence in 2008, but now I’m really scared and I’m starting to get think about getting off the goddamn grid. Time to learn to can. I’ve got the soap thing down. I don’t know how to weave, but I could probably run a pedal sewing machine. Okay, we need to list skills.

@SanFranLefty: @Mistress Cynica: I’m moving slightly southwest of Prom, so just about everything grows. I think the pear tree needs some help, but if we learn to can, we can keep away the scurvy. I’m afraid to can — I don’t want to kill anyone.

Someone needs to learn to make corn oil and toilet paper.

Fell asleep on the couch – did I miss anything? GF was in Italy and brought home black truffles, truffle pasta, and truffle rice. So I should hoard this?

@blogenfreude: Yes, please hoard them, until I get to NYC and you cook a truffle-licous meal to celebrate.

@JNOV: Purple lettuce is the dominant green in the official beds. The arugula (aka “rocket,” aka Barack Obama’s elitist lettuce) has gone nuts as a feral weed after four years of planting it – the “weeds” are being pushed out by California poppies and bitter-bitter-fabulous rocket. Every time Mr. SFL and I sit down to a meal comprised of our feral rocket, we congratulate ourselves on being so elitist.

Re: farming the yard in south Jersey. You are in the growing promised land – read this ASAP. And since Amazon isn’t giving Nojo kickbacks any more, go to your local library to check it out.

Oh, and one of the few nice things I can say about Jersey is that the corn from the southern part of the state is amazing. Grow some corn.

@SanFranLefty: Have yet to use the whole truffles, but did pasta and truffle paste with olive oil and Grana Padano … very nice. GF refuses to tell me what she paid for all this goodness, but get here fast. Was once given half a b0x of Cubans and they went in less than 2 weeks … probably the same here.

Elizabeth Drew, this morning:

Tonight, (though last night would have been good), he could stand at a podium in the East room — the Osama bin Laden podium would be good — or speak from the Oval Office, (the press room wouldn’t provide enough gravamen to the business at hand); and he should demand that the Congress get a clean bill raising the debt limit to his desk by Thursday.

Moreover, he should state that he will veto any bill encumbered by amendments, and emphasize that if the Congress does not comply he will take the issue to the American people.

That I would have respected.

@chicago bureau: There’s always Rack, Tap and Bang.

@SanFranLefty: We’re fucked here in New Mexico as far as farming goes. Local people called the Santa Fe mayor on the carpet last week because a city habitat restoration project has actually attracted some charismatic fauna and farmers down stream are blaming their lack of river water on beavers. The fact that we’ve had almost no rain and snow since last fall has *nothing* to do with their plight. They browbeat the county into trucking down a couple of 14,000 gallon water trucks to them last week. I’m sure them homies are no-government, self-reliant types.

I graveled my yard in tacit acknowledgement that we never will have a lawn again.

@JNOV: Kale and chard are super easy to grow (I’m still harvesting chard I planted over a year ago) and young leaves can be used in salad. While you’re at the library, check out Gardening When It Counts: Growing Food in Hard Times by Steve Solomon.

summary for those who missed it: (wish i was watching The Closer, damn)

barry: “can’t we all get sober?”
agent orange: “no no no”

too soon?

@SanFranLefty: Thanks for the book link! We already have high corn, so that’s good. Plenty of termaters (what’s Joisey without maters?), and I will get that book.

@Mistress Cynica: And thank you, Mistress Cyn. I will be in the dirt next week.

@baked and Tomm: You’re in charge of hemp. For rope, such as.

RML: You’re in charge of guarding the vittles. Shoot to kill.

Nojo: You’re in charge of growing the non-wacky-tabacky, tight rolling, outhouse maintenance and toilet paper.

Dodger: You’re in charge of surf lessons. Conscript CassandraSaid.

Andrew: You’re in charge of fitness and the still.

Manchu: You’re in charge of campfire songs and developing an electric fence powered by our flea circus.

Bloggie: You’re in charge of delousing, learning to can without giving us botulism and making sure our wheat doesn’t lead us to another Salem.

Mellbell: You’re in charge of diffusing hair-on-fire freakouts with a smart rap to the head or booze or something. How about you make peach wine?

Bene: You’re in charge of adjusting dance belts and making sure everyone develops rhythm or at least can clap to a steady beat.

ChicagoBureau: Just don’t bring the fucking lake effect. You get to mind the laying hens and the goats. Bring two alpacas.

Flippin’: You’re in charge of the furry things WE WON’T EAT but whose hairs we’ll humanely gather, comb and spin and stuff. How do you do that without electric clippers? You’ll figure something out. Also see Lake Effect thing.

Catt: Bring your assless chaps.

SerolfDavid: You get to milk the goats.

Sittin on the sofa last night rubbing the wife’s feet watching the Barry and Boner show. The wife asked what I thought the chances of Boner crying were. My reply was that it depended if Cantor used lube on his arm or not when he shoved it up Boner’ ass to manipulate his mouth.

@SanFranLefty: @JNOV: Regarding gardening in the mid-Atlantic we really have it good here. Temps and soil are good for so many things. If you don’t grow it yourself, it is readily available. I don’t like the 90º + heat but I love the local peaches, blueberries, strawberries, melons, corn, squashes of any sort etc. For the adventurous there is even beach plums for jam in late August. Apples and pears also grow well here.

Trying a new variety of tomato called Hillbilly. The fruit set is so heavy it has torn off the stalk twice. I need to thin them down to two or three fruits from the five they seem to produce on each stem. BTW they are an odd yellow color of Beefsteak with red streaks. Taste is good.

@JNOV: I like where you’re going with this.

@ Manchu: Since you’re in charge of songs, I’ve got a bitchin’ rendition of Modern Love to belt out during karaoke time.

@DElurker: Oh, you’re in charge of water collection, filtration and rationing. I think Catt will be in the shower way too long.

Imma be on the mainland, so sandy soil won’t be a huge problem like it is on some NJ barrier islands, and we’re big on composting, so I think we’ll be okay. Just about everything grows here except rhododendrons.

Who can build us a M*A*S*H shower system?

@¡Andrew!: Heh. Who’s going to ride the stationary bike that runs the generator that runs the karaoke machine? I vote Catt in assless chaps.

KarenMarie: You get to sharpen the machetes.

We need someone to figure out how to grow rice in a koi pond.

WalkingStill: You’re in charge of the rice.

@JNOV: Ok, do you want, like, a nice woozy indica, um, fabric or something along the lines of a sativa? Got to be specific here.

@JNOV: That’s a dangerous assignment in the Bay Area. We could end up with Rice-a-Roni.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Fine. You’re in charge of Chapless Asses and the General Prevention of Butthurt and Screaming Meemies Demanding People’s Best Pants. God knows the last thing we need to deal with are monged out voraphiles with a wicked case of the munchies hoarding edibles, although we could do it for the lulz.

Saw: You’re in charge of the food.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: I yearn for the simpler days when I didn’t have to Google strains of bud. Fuckin’ LA.

@JNOV: I’m better suited to outdoorsy, ruggedy activities: wood-cutting, ditch-digging, heavy manual labor. Or I could sous chef for prom.

@Benedick HRH KFC: Better hope we learn to make cooking oil. How ’bout you dig the privy and make sure no one smokes in it? We’ll also need lime.

@JNOV: Hey! What about me? Can I be in charge of chicken wrangling? Or I can be on weed duty! I quite enjoy ripping them out down to the tiniest bit of their nasty little roots.

@JNOV: Knife sharpening has never been a strong suit. My tongue can be pretty sharp at times, however.

@karen marie has her eyes tight shut: They’re laying hens, but you may cuss out the rooster. You’ve been tasked with sharpening machetes. You could also teach knife throwing…

@JNOV: Piped up my sump pump to the garden last year. Did not need to use water until after 2nd week in July. Kept the garden a little too wet in early June this year but worked Ok. My garden is a cypress box filled with 100% compost so it drains maybe too well.

@JNOV: I’ll bartend. It’s my one reliable skill.

@JNOV: You haven’t given Jamie Sommers a task yet, I nominate her for making hilarious snarky comments as Mistress Cynica mixes the cocktails and I fall back on six years of waitressing experience and serve the drinks.

And what? No love for HomoFascist? And BeRightBack (aka squiggly Japanese characters)? We have an army of gheyz. I see HomoFascist in charge of making outfits out of the hemp fabric and BRB chronicling our experience in witty haikus.

And I don’t remember seeing an assignment for baked, but I think girlfriend will be in charge of the acres devoted to marijuana not harvested for rope or fabric applications.

@Mistress Cynica: Very good. You know how to make vodka from potatoes?

@SanFranLefty: Excellent idea. I was also thinking Jamie could do bionic stuff.

Lynn: Will you supervise?

HomoFascist will plan the nightly parties, BeRightBack and RomeGirl need to figure out what we’re going to do about contraception and/or birthing babies.

Ying/Yang gets to investigate the NAFTA sucking sound. (Was that Ron Paul or Ross Perot? Meh. Same diff.)

I’ll make lists.

Oh, Ruby! We’re gonna need a lotta booze, so Ruby is also on the fermenting team.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment