Feh, You Meshuggeneh Shiksa!

[via ThinkProgress]

“I love the faygelas so much, I could plotz.”

She’s so hot I’m schlepping my clainem

@DElurker: New to me. My jew is sephardim so not so much with the yiddish. Do tell.

And oh my god I’m so kvelling on being a boy in New York and eating dairy at Ratners! The sour cream and blinis! The blow job upstairs!…

Wait. What? OK. It was summer and it was some industrial space over the restaurant. I’m not saying a waiter came up and blew me. Yoy yoy yoy! It was a black faygellah who pulled down my pants. Feh!

But after that nothing! Except for the time the hassidic guy pulled me into the back of his warehouse and ran his hands over my chest and stomach, wanting to go lower but not daring (I would have been open for almost anything given the bizzaro factor and plus my heart broke for him and I was so beautiful even I couldn’t keep my hands off me. I was fucking gorgeous) and then of course…

I’ll stop now. JNOVjr might be reading this. Let us preserve his innocence. Bless you, my boy. Come and pet kitty.

Mazeltov. (why does spell check not do Jew? Is this some kind of Aryan plotz?)

I’m feeling a little verklempt. Talk amongst yourselves.

oy, bachman…she should only live mit her cup in dthed.

yiddish is so colorful. my jew, like benedick’s, came from a non yiddish home. i only heard yiddish at home as a child. they would speak it when they didn’t want the kinder to understand. i learned right quick.

translation: it’s when you want to tell someone to drop dead. “drop dead” is not enough–you say, “her head should grow in the ground like an onion”
i wrote “she should live with her head in the ground”…i forgot the onion part.

@baked: My sephardim doesn’t kvell. He just occupies the moral high ground.

@Benedick HRH KFC: The sephardim hablan Ladino, si, not Yiddish? My band does a song, “Ocho Candelikas,” which is in Ladino.

@Dodgerblue: I think the Spanish Sephardim use Ladino. Not mine. Though he does curse the dogs in Arabic, which is what his parents spoke at home. He’s also expert in Chinese Take-out.

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