By the Way, Is There Anyone on Board Who Knows How to Fly a Plane?

Wacky private pilot James Inhofe is mad as hell that he can’t execute sitcom landings without getting his wrist slapped:

U.S. Sen. Jim Inhofe, a veteran pilot who agreed to take remedial training after he landed on a closed runway in Texas, announced Tuesday that he has prepared a bill to add more fairness to Federal Aviation Administration enforcement actions.

“It’s our job in Congress to ensure that there are appropriate safeguards in place to prevent agency overreach,” the Oklahoma Republican said in a preview of what is expected to be called the Pilot’s Bill of Rights. “This bill provides that.”

If you’ve forgotten what landing on a closed runway entails, let’s revisit the FAA report:

The FAA material, provided in response to a [Smoking Gun] Freedom of Information Act request, details how Inhofe, 76, chose to land on the main runway at the Cameron County Airport on October 21 [2010] despite being aware that it was closed and had a large ‘X’ on its threshold.

The politician, the FAA investigation determined, “still elected to land avoiding the men and the equipment on the runway.”…

Shortly after Inhofe landed, Sidney Boyd, who was supervising construction on the closed runway, called the FAA to report that Inhofe’s plane, a twin-engine six-seater, initially touched down on the runway and then “’sky hopped’ over the six vehicles and personnel working on the runway, and then landed.”

During the call, which was recorded by the FAA, Boyd said Inhofe’s antics “scared the crap out of” workers, adding that the Cessna “damn near hit” a red truck. Referring to the vehicle’s driver, Boyd added, “I think he actually wet his britches, he was scared to death. I mean, hell, he started trying to head for the side of the runway. The pilot could see him, or he should have been able to, he was right on him.”

If Inhofe introduces a companion bill ensuring the Scared Shitless Runway Worker’s Bill of Rights, we’re all for it.

Inhofe to introduce ‘Pilot’s Bill of Rights’ [Tulsa World, via TPM]

“Lousy Dumbass Idiot Pilots Who Can’t Read Signs” Bill of Rights.


i’m all for it as long as the first amendment to the kamikaze bill of rights reads like this:

all kamikazes are blessed with the inalienable right to kill themselves and themselves only in pursuit of the divine wind. this right shall reign supreme and only be deemed invalid if such pursuit results in harm to others in which case any surviving kamikazes who harm others through their actions must immediately and without fail commit hari-kari upon themselves.

the senator from panama and america’s only reverse ace, john mccain, will surely sign on to this bill. upon passage, they will engage in a celebratory mock dogfight high above the empty arizona desert once said desert has been cleared of all illegal immigrants. real americans like sarah palin and family will be welcomed as spectators as well as any teabaggers who want to show up and celebrate not getting tread on anymore. misspelled signs are required of all attendees. oh, the carnage.

i doubt inhofe will add an amendment raising pay for pilots who have suffered much lower pay for a while. sully, the river hero pilot recently testified on this. some pilots qualify for food stamps. reckon inhofe gives a shit about that?

Wow, its as if Marion Barry introduced a “Bitch Set Me Up” Bill, excluding from trial, all evidence of a crime that was obtained by “some bitch that set a guy up.”

But, of course, Inhoffe, being a Republican, can get away with it.

@Serolf Divad: did you ever hear of patrick swayze’s near miss landing? he only nearly missed by a couple of counties.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment