Michele Bachmann Stars in “True Flake”

Ladies and Gentlemen, please be seated. Next, please clear all liquids from your throat. Finally, we ask you to grip the edges of your table to provide proper support. Because, folks, we’re going on a ride:

Rep. Michele Bachmann kicked off her presidential campaign on Monday in Waterloo, Iowa, and in one interview surrounding the official event she promised to mimic the spirit of Waterloo’s own John Wayne.

The only problem, as one eagle-eyed reader notes: Waterloo’s John Wayne was not the beloved movie star, but rather John Wayne Gacy, the serial killer.

Thank you all. Please exit to the right. Souvenir photographs will be available in the lobby.

The wrong John Wayne [Washington Times]

If only she were a fan of Sufjan Stevens, this could have been avoided.

In other news, Santorum solves his google problem with some good old-fashioned man on monkey lovin’.


For all her ‘authenticity’ Bachmann has had a ton of work done on her face and has obviously hired a stylist. Would this matter if she were a man? If she were a man she wouldn’t have to.

Politico Presents Things Michele Bachmann Definitely Was Not Thinking:

Michele Bachmann misstated Iowa (and Hollywood) history when she said John Wayne was from Waterloo, Iowa, but she may have been thinking of Wayne’s parents, who had at least a brief connection to the town.

See, the folks “made their first home in Waterloo”, but no one is yet suggesting that John Wayne Zygote was conceived there.

@nojo: BWAHAHAHA HAHA HA! ::hiccup::

(Yeah, I’m back at the neighbiirhid barre)

@Benedick HRH KFC: Induuno. Look at Plugzzzzz and Bruce Jenner and [fill in the the blank]. shit look at half the dudes in this bar. Oh, you can’t. Okay, I will. Beautiful people here. It feels GOOD.

Winterset, Iowa, where movie star Marion Morrison was born, is where one of my distant relatives walked into the Hall of the Macabbees and slashed his own throat with a razor.
That same month, in 1901,in Sioux City, Take Bekins, one of the founding brothers of the moving company of the same name, had his head crushed by a piano he was moving. Iowa has a fabulous history.

Maggie Gallagher and her four chins are on News Hour. My eyes!

U@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: no. They told me “the queens don’t like hops.” I’m drinking Blue Moon with a fucking orange slice in it. The gimlet was good. The schnapps – not so much, but I won’t turn down most shots. I think i was just insulted, but the bartender and this dude I’m taking to told me to ignore Insulting Asshole. He’s on ignore.

@JNOV: Oh, it’s a gay bar. That would explain the lack of good beer then.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: S’okay. I’ll take good company over good beer anyday.

If by the “spirit of John Wayne” she means someone who only pretends to be a warrior and a patriot during her day job, then perhaps she’s telling the truth.

I find it immensely amusing to see my friends’ reactions who are just meeting ol’ Crazy Eyes for the first time. There’s a lot of, “Wait.. what… really?”

@Benedick HRH KFC: Oh. I think I get it now. And, hey — when I was on my Elizabeth R/Mary, Queen of Scots kick, did you recommend Lady Jane? If so, thank you. I’m about half-way through (it’s loooong), and I’m pretty sure Dread Pirate Roberts is a lying whore and will not live up to As You Wish. I hope I’m wrong.

@JNOV: I didn’t, but it’s a good movie and interesting story well told. Pity that Cary Elwes is so homely. And aren’t we all lying whores underneath?

@Benedick HRH KFC: His lips may lie to me all they like.

ADD: Aren’t we all lying whores underneath?
I’m afraid so.

@Benedick HRH KFC: Of course this:

Although the film is correct to portray Jane as a precocious and talented scholar, it contains a number of historical inaccuracies.

I’ll see what’s in the library once I get over all the fucking beheadings.

@JNOV: What they mean is that nothing is true. It’s all made up. But if Carey can get his shirt off who cares?

@Benedick HRH KFC: Oh! Just saw Rupert Everett in Another Country. Cary who?

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