Meanwhile, In Canada….

Aha! The rumored May Surprise!

@nojo: Stephen Harper may just be the luckiest man alive, if he pulls it out tonight. In a couple of seats, this whole Team America thing might swing it from a close loss to a close win. And that may be enough to save his ass.

Meanwhile, Jack Layton might suffer as a result, and lose not two seats, but maybe four or five. And the circumstances won’t the cited cause, but his supposed failure to close the deal.

Noted — there was a third party flirtation over in Merrie Old last May. “I Agree With” Nick Clegg had some serious mo’ going into the vote and got for his trouble… fuck all, electorally. Now look at him. He’s the Number Two over there, but is essentially neutered. Sad.

Like I said: for political junkies, this will be really interesting stuff.

It’s not looking good for the Libs — the centrist (but not Blue Dog Demrat Centrist as they didn’t deregulate banks which saved our economy and ironically helped Harper–he was pro-deregulation.)

Admittedly, I have Lib bias so here goes.

This hasn’t been a good campaign for the Tories as they were hammered on many things including the revelation that a Tory Cabinet minister dumped $50 mil into his own riding for “improvements” for the G20 summit. In a odd twist, if Harper kept the G20 out of Toronto (and piss off a lot of people in the process) he would have gotten his majority. I have heard that the Tories are really worried as the NDP has become an acceptable alternative out West to the Tories.

The only reason why things aren’t horrible for them is because they hammered the Liberal Leader, Michael Ignatiff aka Iggy as a US American opportunist for his time at Hahvahd. The Liberals ran an okay campaign (excellent when compared the awfulness of Stephane Dion’s campaign of 08 or Paul Martin’s abject surrender in 05) but could not gain any traction in the polls. He is boring, but his team did a decent job of getting organized. I knew this election wasn’t going to lead to victory, but not this bad.

The NDP did a very good job of getting out and killing the Bloc in Quebec. The Quebecois don’t trust the Libruls due to the Sponsorship scandal and Harper has pissed them off repeatedly. Thanks to the ineptitude of Gilles (not Pierre) Ducepe the Bloc leader, the NDP is going to run the board in Que. THat’s like 45-50 seats at least.

It is going to be a close one in my riding. I volunteered for the guy and they did a good job of getting information and signs out. Based on the observations of the street signage, there is a slight lead for him. Not sure if it adds up at the voting booth. I see the polling station outside my house and it has been busy (but how much I don’t know.)

@chicago bureau:
Like I said before, the polls don’t make any sense to me.

Harper will kill out west outside of BC.

The NDP will make significant gains.

The Liberals will be hard pressed to hold onto what they have.

The thing about OBL is that it was a Demrat Preznit who took him down. Not the GOPer one. We do know the difference.

Oh this is HILARIOUS: Canada has a rule against publishing results until all polls have closed. Which is a great idea, in theory — makes sure that voters out west get a chance to vote before the election is essentially decided in Quebec and Ontario.

But tweeters are subject to this too. And thus you have this nominee for Tweet of the Month from @pbryan —

Conservatives ███ █████ in ███ ridings. Liberals ███ █████. NDP █████ ██ ███ ███ seats! #elxn41 #tweettheresults

Personally, I’m all in favor of a law requiring politicians and hacks to SHUT THE FUCK UP for a few hours. Tweets like the preceding demonstrate the folly of such a thing, however.

@chicago bureau:
We used to have a 48 hour ban on election commercials, too but Harper cut that.

@chicago bureau: How’d he do that?

@ManchuCandidate: “Pierre Ducepe”

I think you were going for Gilles Duceppe. C’mon, man!

Now help me out — what is the English analogue for “Gilles.” Yves : William :: Gilles : ????

@chicago bureau:
Sorry, my goof

@mellbell: I was just thinking the same thing. That redaction of his own tweet is stupendously awesome.

@mellbell: The point of all this is that, apparently, we will know absolutely nothing until 2200 ET — which, I am told, is when the CBC takes up shop on C-SPAN2 for those interested.

Unless we get private word of what the hell is going on, in which case we U.S. Americans here will be more than happy to oblige @ManchuCandidate by providing, you know, information.

@chicago bureau:
Thanks, but I feel like a Demrat in the 2010 election. I’m just going to be rocking back and forth and sticking my head in the sand for a bit.

@chicago bureau: Guillermo? That could be the ten years of Spanish talking.

Well, let’s see. A couple tweets have the Maritimes (Newfoundland, Nova Scotia, P.E.I. and New Brunswick) in with CON 13 / LIB 12 / NDP 7 / Bloc (still waiting around, smoking a cigarette). No idea if that is real results, or declared only, or declared plus leaners, or what.

@chicago bureau:
Leaners. Winners won’t be declared till later.

@ManchuCandidate: Meanwhile: new hashtag for Canuck tweeters — #comegetmeelectionscanada. Like I said, this is entertaining stuff for nerds.

And all this time I thought Canada was an imaginary place, like Narnia or Oz.

Live and learn, I guess.

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That:
We are.

@ManchuCandidate: BTW: my absence from the blog has been hockey related. The Blackhawks got knocked out last week. So, now I can say to someone who gets what I’m saying here: FUCK YOU VERY MUCH, VANCOUVER.

(God, I hate that team. Every Chicagoan now has an irrational loathing for Vancouver on account of that club.)

@chicago bureau:
I don’t blame you, but your Blackhawks should be proud they made smug Vancouver shit themselves for 5 days.

Oh and Raffy Torres is a major league asshole.

@ManchuCandidate: Him, Edler and Bieska can eat shit, insofar as I have anything to say about it. And I don’t.

Oooooh! $109.48 in filthy lucre from Google Ads! Who can I buy with that?

@nojo: Hookers and blow! HOOKERS AND BLOW! That’s change I can believe…wait. How much?

@nojo:
Not anyone worth buying…

But it pays for more popcorn and beer if you ever get visitors again.

Oh, shit. Twitter reports that CBC let some results slip, and now is experiencing “technical difficulties.” Boy, this could get ugly, and soon.

Seriously, I get why the results-ban is in place, but this is just loony now.

The head dude at the CBC, Peter Mansbridge, has been all up in the grill of Elections Canada on the results embargo. In a very polite way, I am told — it is Canada.

Polls will close everywhere but British Columbia in five minutes. Results at the top of the hour, when the Government will say that they are good and ready to release it, mister.

Early rumors have PM Blimpie’s Conservatives first, NDP second. Could be total crap, however. It’s Twitter.

@chicago bureau:
Numbers I’ve seen is 4*8PC/2*6Lib/1*7NDP/3*BQ

Well, here we go. Rocky Balboa and Apollo Creed just got into the ring in the darkened gym, and Apollo’s about ready to ring the bell.

DING. DING.

[/rockyIV]

WINNER: Conservatives, but maybe not a majority. NDP is crushing it into second.

And the Bloc Quebecois? EPIC FAIL. They are getting absolutely hammered.

@chicago bureau:
Looks like a Majority. Gains in Ontario because the NDP and Libs split the vote.

@ManchuCandidate: That was the big fear with the NDP surge, wasn’t it?

CBC calls it for NDP in the Official Opposition. Incredible collapse for the Liberals.

That is a fugly looking vote board for lefties. Liberals/NDP took 53% of the vote, and Conservatives took 40%. But it looks like Blimpie takes down his majority.

And Iggy’s behind in his own seat. Mike — your plane is boarding.

@nojo: Me! Me! Pick me!

Also, too: I’m glad I live in a non-parliamentarian country with only two parties. Canadians must be smart to be able to understand what any of it means. Each time one of these educational Canadian threads come up, I become more confused.

Bloc Quebecois spokeswoman was asked why the party was doing so poorly. She said: “I don’t have a clue.” That’s your problem right there.

And it’s done — Fatboy gets his majority. Which means we don’t have this thread to kick around for at least four years. Too bad — I’m gonna miss it.

Notable Liberal goes down — Ken Dryden. Hockey Hall of Fame goalie for the Habs. I’m not quite clear on this, but the former NHLer caucus is now at zero. Too bad.

This is kinda cute — Olivia Chow won her Toronto seat. Her hubby? Jack Layton. I can’t think of another husband-wife team, apart from Bill and Hillary, in politics. Maybe I’m missing something.

And Michael Ignatieff is at the mike now. He looks positively crushed. That stands to reason.

He has “accepted responsibility” for the loss. Which is Pig Latin for “I quit.”

@chicago bureau: Nearest English equivalent for Gilles would be Giles. Both were probably diminutives of Guillaume, which is French for William. Yves is the French form of Ivo.

Oh no wait — Iggy’s not quitting yet. Which is weird, because he’s just about to get shitcanned — and perhaps even by voters in his own district. Totally bewildered, and clueless. Sad.

@Mistress Cynica: Is that French for “Guillermo?”

And the Bloc’s leader, Gilles Duceppe, goes down. Total fucking disaster. Zut alors!

tj/ Mummified Ex-Playmate Found in LA

http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2011/05/early-playboy-playmate-and-b-movie-acress-yvette-vickers-found-dead-in-benedict-canyon.html

Interesting — the heir apparent for the Liberal Party, Bob Rae, is dancing very gingerly around it, but he seems to be open to the idea of merger with the NDP.

The Liberals, it seems, may actually be killed off tonight. As a party. Like, forever.

Gobsmacking stuff.

And Gilles Duceppe is out as party leader — but he’s talking up separatism in his concession. Worrisome.

@chicago bureau: Is that good or bad? What’s Aslan’s take?

@Tommmcatt Be Fat, And That Be That: Hard to say.

The vote split allowed Blimpie to squeak in with 40% of the vote share. Yet, while a united left might be interesting in four years, they’re in the wilderness until then.

More: the Greens take a seat, and the Liberal Leader loses his. Yikes.

@redmanlaw: Oui.

That was some kinda awesome from Jack Layton. Too bad that Stephen Harper is going to beat him up and steal his lunch money.

They’re making a fine career with it. Why stop now?

P.S. I never click on ads but just now I made an exception to vote “no” on teatards and cost them a nickel.

@chicago bureau:
Yup. I suspected as much.

Not much one can do really. It took me about 2 hours to make peace with it. The Ontario vote split made the difference and the Tories squeaked by.

Pierre Trudeau is rolling in his grave.

Good God, people. Sport and Canadian politics? Haven’t I suffered enough?

@karen marie has her eyes tight shut: If Limeys can do it, anyone can.

@ManchuCandidate: I can’t believe that scandal after scandal, Harperbot 3000 gets rewarded with a majority. While I’ve always lamented the US’s phony, two-right-wing party system, I’m seeing the long-term disadvantages and frustrations of the parliamentary system where 60% of the people vote for someone else and that repeatedly hands the losers control of the government in one election after another.

Oh well, Harperbot 3000 cares not for our inferior hue-mahn emotions, and Canadiastanis should prepare themselves for a psychopathic, far-right regime so sadistic that Satan Himself would would beg for a gentler societal azz-focking. In other words, it’s 2004 in Canada!

@¡Andrew!:
Pretty much. The scenario that played out last night was my worst case scenario.

I’m still in mourning.

@ManchuCandidate: I watched a documentary on CBC about the lives of Canadian leaders during the last election (2008?), and I was really impressed by Jack Layton. Granted my character judgement isn’t the best, but he seems like one of the few honest, genuinely decent people in politics–I’ve seen him on 22 Minutes as well–and it seems like he would physically throw himself onto any pernicious, neo-wingtard legislation in order to prevent it from passing.

And can we talk about all the hair he had in college? Jiminy Cricket, he had a mane like a lion.