Irrefutable Proof That Barack Obama is Not American

Our guest columnist is Barack Obama.

We’ve posted the certification that is given by the state of Hawaii on the Internet for everybody to see. People have provided affidavits that they, in fact, have seen this birth certificate. And yet this thing just keeps on going.

Now, normally I would not comment on something like this, because obviously there’s a lot of stuff swirling in the press on at any given day and I’ve got other things to do. But two weeks ago, when the Republican House had put forward a budget that will have huge consequences potentially to the country, and when I gave a speech about my budget and how I felt that we needed to invest in education and infrastructure and making sure that we had a strong safety net for our seniors even as we were closing the deficit, during that entire week the dominant news story wasn’t about these huge, monumental choices that we’re going to have to make as a nation. It was about my birth certificate. And that was true on most of the news outlets that were represented here.

And so I just want to make a larger point here. We’ve got some enormous challenges out there. There are a lot of folks out there who are still looking for work. Everybody is still suffering under high gas prices. We’re going to have to make a series of very difficult decisions about how we invest in our future but also get a hold of our deficit and our debt — how do we do that in a balanced way.

And this is going to generate huge and serious debates, important debates. And there are going to be some fierce disagreements — and that’s good. That’s how democracy is supposed to work. And I am confident that the American people and America’s political leaders can come together in a bipartisan way and solve these problems. We always have.

But we’re not going to be able to do it if we are distracted. We’re not going to be able to do it if we spend time vilifying each other. We’re not going to be able to do it if we just make stuff up and pretend that facts are not facts. We’re not going to be able to solve our problems if we get distracted by sideshows and carnival barkers.

And he expected any different? What country is Barack Obama from, anyway?

Remarks by the President [White House]


Film-flam the mystery man president has earned skepticism over his bio. I wanna see the college courses and professors he sought out.

Also, we still haven’t seen the Circumcision Certificate.

@nojo: He had a bris? I demand to speak to the mohel.


“Look, I applaud this release. I think it’s a step in the right direction,” so-called “birther queen” Orly Taitz told me in one of her many media interviews this morning. “I credit Donald Trump in pushing this issue.”

But she still has her suspicions. Specifically, Taitz thinks that the birth certificate should peg Obama’s race as “Negro” and not “African.”

My first impulse was to damn Obama for taking away the punchbowl just as the party was getting started. But it’s fun to watch everyone scurrying.

@nojo: They seem to be busy upping the alcohol content.


But, Trump said, “we have to look at it. We have to see, is it real? Is it proper?” He added: “It is rather amazing that all of a sudden it materializes.” And, Trump said, there are still questions about President Obama’s background. “The word is,” Trump told the press, Obama “was a terrible student when he went to Occidental [College]. He then gets to Columbia. He then gets to Harvard.”

“I don’t know why he doesn’t release his records,” Trump said. “Why doesn’t he release his Occidental records?”

Granted, that’s yesterday’s news. But no word yet whether Trump’s gonna release his financial records as promised, now that the certificate is out.

Oh, and while Trump’s mother is from Scotland, word is that she’s a naturalized citizen. Still, following the latest logic, that doesn’t make him natural-born.

@mellbell: I think going back to Hawaii, 1961 would be awesome.

@nojo: Larger point: he hasn’t shamed the birthers or put anything to rest with this*. Nice speech press statement, though.

*ADD: Precisely my point.


@redmanlaw: That sort of looks like fun. But maybe the trailer’s the best part. Makes me think of Sky Captain.

OK. Here I am doing noje’s job for him yet again and do I get a byline? Do I buggery fuck. Not that I mind. He’s most likely spent the day dreaming over Chris Colfer’s cover of As If We Never Said Goodbye. ALW’s Big Song from Sunset. That’s our noje. He’s such a fanboy.

1st link is round-up of wingnut refutations to our wartime preznint’s birth cert and therefor technically treason. 2nd is hugs to noje for all he does to keep us amused. (full disclosure: not a fan. But well sung – if God did all.)

@Benedick HRH KFC: Brilliant graphics. I hope somebody’s getting paid.

@nojo: Plus on his daddy’s side, the last name is actually Drumpf, until it was changed to Trump. What else is The Donald hiding?

@redmanlaw: Livery and Let Die is the best headline ever. Gotta love the British tabs.

Returns keep coming in:

Phil Berg, who filed one of the original birther lawsuits, now believes that Obama was adopted by his Indonesian father and lost his U.S. citizenship:

“I think the issue is that he’s not any more natural born. I don’t care if he releases his birth certificate or whatever,” said Berg. “Let’s see his records coming back through immigration.”

Main question: When will these folks drop below the radar again? Trump’s moved on to college records, but those don’t threaten to undermine the presidency.

@nojo: Never.

But you know what? I’ve had hundreds of goldfinches at the feeders over the last couple of days. Coincidence? Or muslim atheist plot?

@nojo: @Benedick HRH KFC: I especially liked Orly’s latest: the President is using a false Social Security number.

@lynnlightfoot: That one’s been around for awhile — his SSN uses the wrong prefix! — but most folks aren’t familiar with all the variations. There’s a whole subculture devoted to this shit.

The meta-amusement about Trump is that he was using Basic Birtherism, circa 2008. But he was also consulting with WND’s Joseph Farah, so he has access to Advanced Birtherism if he wants it. I’m guessing he’s using his judgment about the variation that’s easiest to sell.

Yes, I used Trump and Judgment in the same non-alcohol-soaked breath. Help me.

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