The Closest We’ve Come to Seeing Our Life Flash Before Our Eyes

We’ve posted 3,535 items — mostly headlines — to the Stinque Twitter account. (Not to be confused with the Stinque Daily Blurb Twitter account, just to confuse you.) Using the new Internet time waster analysis service “That can be my next tweet”, our composite Tweet DNA results in the Dada Haiku above, which we insist be inscribed on our tombstone.

That can be my next tweet

That Can Be Our Next Headline: 21 Perfect Stories by The Machines [The Awl, via flippin eck]


If aliens did invade Sandy Eggo how could anybody tell?

Pretty please will you feed the Daily Blurb account into that little toy too? Especially now that “poontang” is in the mix!

@flippin eck:

“Stomp! Sleep is a Fatal Accident Reconstruction Team. Hamsters are making us not Thanksgiving until.”

Don’t let the Feds know about this.

@nojo: Ooo, it just spit out this doozy for the Stinque account:
“Go, Fightin’ Crackpots! Falwell’s creationist Liberty University draws $445 million birds.”

Add: And another amazing one!
“Stinque Book Club: A Division of Bristol Palin the Nuts video. Medias Systematic Derangement of the Day.”

My God, this is addictive:
“Florida Seventh Graders Spared from the Secular Islamists! Hail to reality, already in Bathtub.”

@flippin eck: And another for Stinquer the Daily Blurb:

“On the spoiled children. Of rich people. No Blood for Cocktober? A guy gets punched in the numbing part.”

We are the tweets we’ve been waiting for.

@nojo: @flippin eck: I got this for the regular account:
“I’ve been to Know About That Japanese Cellphone Ad Stinque Losers Braquet! Stinque Losers Braquet!”

ADD: Ooooh, here’s another good one:
“Dressing Under My Farm Subsidies! Florida Seventh Graders Spared from 1969. 8-tracks!”

ADD2: This one made me howl:
“Stinque Book Club: Hippitus Hoppitus Deus Domine. Shoes for a banana in the hyphen from Embarrassing.”

What’s the daily blurb’s Twitter handle?

This is fun!

@Benedick is not as stupid as he looks.: @Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: Don’t be grumpy, boys, it’s spitting out tweets just for you!

“Good Night, and a Phallic Edifice is the Dachshund Friendship Quarterly and a gift certificate”
“Blow, Restless Pachyderm. The HMS Cockchafer was a crap. It was fun! Whos next? Joy is contagious.”

Speaking of quasi-nonsensical word salad, I give you a guy who could be the next Republican nominee for President:

Bizarre lawsuit connects Apple, US presidents, Oprah Winfrey in conspiracy

Right up there with ol’ Oily Titz in the “shitting your own legal briefs” department…

@flippin eck: I love “Blow, Restless Pachyderm” sooooo much. I think I had to retire it early for something more pressing.

@flippin eck: Speaking of the HMS Cockchafer, you taking HomoFascist out for his birthday tonight?

Happy birthday, my General HF, if you’re lurking today!

@SanFranLefty: Yep! I think I’ll be one of the two Vagina-Americans present at that gay sausage fest–should be fun!

@nojo: Reads like an Allen Ginsberg title.

I don’t understand. I’m not pouting or rubbing my eyes. I just don’t understand. /sniffling/

@al2o3cr: Link led to awesome news re Apple Lion system update #Fabulous. Dictionaries of wonder! OED usages and other such beauties.

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