Boehner Bimbo Banger?

It would be irresponsible not to speculate!

But the reasonably reliable National Enquirer says to hell with speculation:

New Speaker of the House JOHN BOEHNER is embroiled in a bombshell sex scandal – involving at least two different women, The ENQUIRER has learned!

Capitol Hill insiders and political bloggers have been buzzing about an upcoming New York Timesprobe – detailing an alleged affair that the 61-year-old married father of two had with pretty Washington lobbyist LISBETH LYONS.

And an ENQUIRER investigation has uncovered a bedroom encounter that Boehner – second in line of succession to the presidency – allegedly had with LEIGH LaMORA, a 46-year-old former press secretary to ex-Colorado Congressman JOEL HEFLEY.

Please. Oh please let it be true.

11 Comments

Did he wave the “famblee values” flag a lot? If so then he’s in trouble… as much trouble as the MSM will let a GOPer get into.

If not then it’s just another bad joke about a man who is controlled by his creamsicle.

@ManchuCandidate: He’s not been much of a family-values screamer, but he’s hitched his wagon to them at every opportunity. Tar and feather, I say.

@blogenfreude:
Now he’ll have something to legitimately cry over.

This explains the crying. He’s sad because he can’t get away with banging two girlfriends any more. Query re the long-suffering wife: will she stay or will she go?

Lecherous lawmaker licks lobbyist Lizabeth Lyon, lies with Leigh LaMora.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Girl’s on a roll – did they give out prizesdrinks over there on Gawker?

I guess we can call him Agent Fucking Orange now.

I really could have gone the rest of my life without seeing the word “fingers” followed by “John Boehner”

@Dodgerblue: She’ll stay. The pilgrims that marry teapublican’ts always stay and say it’s for the children even if the kids are in their 20’s or older. Vitters wife stuck around. Craigs wife stuck around. Ensigns wife stuck around. Even Ted Haggards wife even stuck around. The only smart one was Sanfords wife, but she booked because she had all the cash. The ones that stay figure they still got a pretty good deal because after all they quit fucking after the last kid. These wives figure it’s better for their teapublican’t husbands to use girlfriends and hookers to take care of the unpleasantries they’d rather avoid.

Dear anyone who thinks sex is unpleasant: you’re doing it wrong. (Or, more likely, your other half is doing it wrong.)

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