And Just Like That, a Decade of Gags Go Retro

question
why does this take 90 days?

@Capt Howdy: I’m surprised it’s still around. I vaguely recall phase-out chatter from a couple years ago.

I don’t remember anybody mentioning this since the glory days of the shrub administration, when it was always being raised a couple of shades immediately before election day. I must have heard announcements raising the terror level a hundred times and never once recall hearing it was lowered, yet it never went off the chart to plaid or eggshell or whatever came next.

@Dave H:
I believe it was briefly raised to “teal” during the DADT fight.

Every year, the state bar mag has a creative arts competition that i help judge. Six or seven years ago, I devised a scoring system based on the color charts. I’d post it for shits and giggles on Le Libre des Visages, but I can’t find it.

Right now, I am hopped up on caffeine at my local neighborhood see and be seen Starbucks, reading this year’s submissions. Every year, there are a shit ton (metric) of entries about dying and death. Is it a lawyer thing or a “tortured artist” thing? Either way, it’s annoying as fuck. I AM NOT IMPRESSED BY YOUR DYING GRANDMOTHER.

@nojo: Definitely. The Asshole told me he was working on it during his brief tenure as Nappy’s “senior advisor” in 09 while he was waiting for confirmation as Chief Douchebag of Arizona.

BTW, is it “advisor” or “adviser”? Firefox is giving the former the Red Squiggly Line of Doom.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: I’d go with “advisor.” Can’t tell you why.

Maybe Agent Orange is offended that his skin tone corresponds with the threat level for most of the past decade. Yep. Decade. Give or take ten months.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: @Dodgerblue: I’m with y’all.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: I AM NOT IMPRESSED BY YOUR DYING GRANDMOTHER.

I think we’ve found tomorrow’s tweet.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Is this creative arts like painting and sculpture, or creative writing? Because every attorney has a hacky novel/memoir somewhere inside them…

@flippin eck: Duly noted.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: If it’s young people that’s about the biggest thing yet to happen to them. Then it’s dating and their wacky friends. Then divorce. Then rehab. Then how the world failed them. Then their dysfunctional family (I fucking hate dysfunctional families. I’m not interested in my own family what makes you think I give a rat’s ass about yours?). Then pulling the plug on dad. Then how the world failed them again. Then finding the meaning of life. Then their own mortality.

In happier news Nabokov proved right about everything. Fiction editor of The New Yorker not impressed.

I hate jet-lag. Though I do think Justin Bieber is adorable. Why does everyone keep trashing him?

@SanFranLefty: All of the above, plus “music” and non-fiction writing. In the latter category, some jackass has submitted the same anti-evolution article for the third year in a row. I’m tempted to take a truckload of Darwin fish to his office and apply them all over his car.

@Snorri Haraldsson: I think it’s mostly middle aged lawyers. I used grandmother because I just finished reading a story about one. Last year, there were 5 stories and poems about dying fathers and I think the majority of death lit in this competition has been about a parent. I feel like we should have a shrink on the judging panel.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: What, no interpretive dance?

@SanFranLefty: No, thank Darwin. But someone asked the EIC last year if we could create one so she could submit a DVD of her dancing. I said if there’s going to be a dance category, I want a competitive cursing category so I can fucking enter and win the shit outta that goddamn motherfucker.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: If FCS gets wind of that category, you’ll lose.