Ladies and Gentlemen, Stinque Comment #100,000

Congratulations to lucky winner Dodgerblue. We’re all waiting to see the array of amazing prizes nojo bestows upon you for being in the right place at the right time.

Congratulations!!! [cue confetti]

BTW, Gawker is trying to figure out why San Francisco is ranked the 3rd drunkest city in the US. One (hypenated) word, kids: Stinque-ups.

Woo hoo! Dodgerblue has most time to waste sitting in front of a monitor!!11 Way to go. Lawerz rulez!!! (bitterness not showing? Oh it will. It will.)

It’s raining/snowing right now in most of Arizona. If there’s any luck, we’ll get that gawdamn flood.

It’s a significant milestone for me, because the Dreamhost-based CP comment database broke down at 30k (including 5k spam), and the post database broke down soon after. I was just starting to plot the Stinque Insurrection, and the breakdowns rushed my decisions.

@nojo: Your insurrections may be rushed but I bet they fill a shot glass, big guy.

@Mistress Cynica: Only third place? I need to work harder in 2011.

@Benedick: A rusher is usually a gusher.

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: Werd.

Aw c’mon! A guy who doesn’t know his Bible won 100,000? That’s bullshit! The fire next time, Dodger. The fire…

Liesl died. :-(

@JNOV: Hey Nojo, I’ll be in San Diego in February. Will my prize fit into my Subaru wagon?

@Dodgerblue: I think you should be awarded that USB typewriter.

@JNOV: Yeah, that was awesome. I learned on a typewriter that looked like the one in the photo. Right after written language was invented.

@Dodgerblue: Please don’t tempt me. I’ve been trying not to crack on your age since you’ve won 100,000.

@Dodgerblue: You were there for the flood, weren’t you?

TJ/ My BlackBerry is not working.

@Dodgerblue: Apparently it will fit in a shot glass.

@Mistress Cynica: Wait a second, how the hell did Ess Eff beat out Chicago? Because the Chicago Stinque-Ups are WAAAAAY more alcohol-soaked than any outing in SF. Oh wait, except for that time you and I had 6 bottles of wine with Benedick and Libertarian Tool over lunch.

@SanFranLefty: SIX? Outerbadness! I’m guessing they weren’t those wee Sutter Home twist offs.

@SanFranLefty: I was surprised by Chicago’s poor showing as well. FSM knows we’ve done our part. I was amazed to see that 12-14 drinks per month was the average for the high scoring cities. In my family, someone who only consumes 12-14 drinks per month is considered a teetotaler.

@Mistress Cynica: No shit, 12 to 14 drinks a month? Try a weekend around my house. My theory on SF is that we have fewer breeders here, so fewer kids to skew the numbers down and fewer “I’m ovulating/trying to get pregnant/maybe pregnant/pregnant/breast feeding” ladiez refusing to drink.

Oh, and our horrifically high numbers of chronically homeless people with alcohol and SA problems.

Cheers!

@SanFranLefty: No shit. As a friend of mine said to the OB/GYN lecturing her on reducing her risk of breast cancer by consuming 7 or fewer drinks per week, “Honey, that won’t get me through Tuesday.”

Aren’t you guys glad comment #100,000 wasn’t me linking to some Top Gear catastrophe?

I would just like to say how much I admire lawyers in all their many aspects.

@Mistress Cynica: Does your friend count her weeks as starting on Monday morning or Sunday morning?

/just asking so I can accurately prepare my answer the next time I see my shrink/lady-bits/other parts doctors.

@SanFranLefty: Monday AM.

@Mistress Cynica: Umm, okay me too. So tell her she’s not alone. Otherwise I would’ve told her to substitute the word “Monday” in there for “Tuesday”.

@blogenfreude: You mean Jeremy Clarkson and The Great Burqa Scandal?

@Benedick: good gawd, man. Why?

@Dodgerblue: Woot congrats! Ignore the jealous h8ers.

@flippin eck: I’ll be in Chicago again in February. Drink?

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: They are so the guardians of truth and such as. And plus who else can I trust to save me from corporate giants? Hmm?

And plus dodge I h8 the jealous h9ters. I am so pleased you had so much unbillable hours you could contribute so much to Mike Lee’s fuckorama this precious outpost of truth. wank. Bravo, Sir. Get a job. Well done.

@Dodgerblue: Since you have so much free time you can plan dates like months in advance I salute you, sir. Whatever.

@Benedick: Speaking of wank, I got an iPad for my birthday. Do you know that there is a RealBook app that has rhythm tracks for something like 900 jazz tunes, plus you can buy a gizmo that lets you record guitar and other tracks (already ordered)? Whether I will get off the couch again is problematic.

@Benedick: Have you met Flippin? if you have, I think you’ll agree that it would be foolish to let a chance to drink with her go by. Even if I must get off the couch and allow myself to be groped by SA goons and then crammed into a full 737 for a 3 1/2 hour flight on which you’re lucky to get a bag of peanuts.

@Dodgerblue: Definitely–but let’s make sure it’s not on a schoolnight this time so we can repair the damage done to our Chicago Stinque-up rep by the relative sobriety of our first meeting.

ADD: And thanks for the nice compliment! I think you just helped me write the tagline for an online dating profile or something–Flippin: Worth Getting Off the Couch For

I am quite bitter about this entire situation. It is clearly incumbent upon Nojo as the Stinque Grand Poobah to announce with adequate notice that such a prestigious milestone as Comment 100,000 is in the offing, so that those of us with a conspiratorial nature can have adequate time to scheme and capture the prize. I believe I may have missed this honor by mere minutes, and I can tell you that my comment would have imparted the gravitas befitting a benchmark of such magnitude. Not that there is anything wrong with Dodger’s comment. But… just sayin… “Awesome.” I mean … WTF?

@flippin eck: We must invite Benedick. Maybe he can explain to us why “public” schools in England are private etc.

@Barrington Chadsworth IV: Spontaniety is to polished witticism as jazz is to classical music. I’m on Charlie Parker’s team.

@Dodgerblue: And besides, I thought it would take another day. I was caught flat-footed and an hour late when SFL flagged me. No revived Vuvuzela Button for you.

@Dodgerblue: You win a car freshener without the car.

@Dodgerblue: Schools were first church. There was nothing outside the church. But then there was the reformation. Schools outside the church were public. Aka Mr Whatsit could send his son Nigel to be educated. Not church but public. School.

@JNOV: no shit? Wow, Charmie Carr, I knew her. As a very young teen, I was in a show with her at Harrah’s Tahoe, the Christmas show. Her father wrote it, or stepfather, maybe, Brian Farnon. It was a Christmas Carol, she played belle, scrooge’s Girlfriend in the past. She was sweet and friendly.

I am taken aback, a little piece of my past just died. She was the Happy Cat lady too, you know, remember the dancing cat commercial?

She can’t have been terribly old, she was in her forties at the time, I think. This was in the mid- eighties, though.

Lord, my God, the mid-eighties were almost 30 years ago.

I think I just became mortal. I’m in shock.

@nojo: There is such a scandal?

@blogenfreude: Well, the Daily Mail thinks so…

Top Gear stars cause religious row after dressing up in burkas on Boxing Day special

Jeremy Clarkson and his Top Gear co-stars have sparked religious outrage after dressing up in burkas on the Boxing Day special.

Clarkson and Richard Hammond decided to dress in niqabs, a form of the burka where everything but the eyes are covered, in order to disguise themselves on the road.

They also got James May in on the act when they greeted him from hospital after he fell and hit his head on rocks in the Syrian desert.

Brits in the Mideast. What could possibly go wrong?

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: Ohno, wait. You meant the real Lisel. She was almost 90.

Whew. I am immortal after all.

@Dodgerblue: Dude.

Movie night at Casa RML: Why did them lesbanians steal the title of that great movie about The WHO? I can’t even imagine which of the Avengers Mark Ruffalo will play.

Evelyn Salt could kick James Bond’s ass. Trivia Quiz: who else used the blade in the shoe?

I recall that people were posting “mean to religion” tunes last week. This is the best fucking song I heard today, “Reserection 9” by Burn the Priest, now known as Lamb of God. From 2;40 on it’s like a sludge metal band covered Alice in Chains with an old school death metal singer fronting; pretty much straight deth metal before that point. Lyrics are fucking ka-ray-zee. I found it for $6.99 new at the chain video/music/book/magazine store. Now I’d like to spend a couple of minutes by the fire and a glass of wine with Miss Shirley Manson and Garbage. I’m now on my third copy of “Garbage 2.0”, which I also picked up used today. The only other cd I’m on the third copy of is “Lateralus” by Tool. My favorite cds lead hard lives.

Snowing tonight. Gotta be up early to take el nino to his friend’s place to go boarding.

Burn the Priest, “Resurrection #9.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AG8dDgaX_e0

Garbage, “The Trick is to Keep Breathing”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MjeoXDHpH_c&feature=more_related

Tool, “Lateralus”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDlC7oG_2W4

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: Lord, my God, the mid-eighties were almost 30 years ago.

And all your favorite references turn to dust. As soon as the kids get tired of the retro novelty.

Silent Creative Partner — all of 32 — informed me the other day that he had never seen Blade Runner. Replicants wept.

@nojo: My kid has seen “Repo Man”. Son of RML informed Mrs RML the other night that he was going to “do some crime – like get shushi and not pay.” My paternal heart grew a little.

@nojo:

“l’ve done things ~questionable things.”

@nojo: Would you mind linking to the first Stinque post? The search hamsters aren’t working well.

@Tommmcatt is with Karin Marie on This One: Sorry about that, Catt. Didn’t mean to give you agita.

@redmanlaw: Lotte Lenya. Wife to Kurt Weill who claimed he heard all his songs in her voice. Refugees from Nazi Germany who acted as hosts for Brecht during his short stay which involved a summons to the House UnAmerican Committee. He answered all the questions very nicely then next morning fled to the relative freedom of the GDR. Happy times.

@Dodgerblue: I have heard of the legendary prowess of Chicago Stinque vis à vis the hootch but have yet to meet it head on.

@nojo: Work in Musical Theatre where antique rock ‘n’ roll is still regarded as a a daring novelty. You will feel 20 again. I would say the same to Catt but let’s face it, there ain’t enough The Who songs on iTunes to make him feel young.

As to Brits in the Mid-East… Well, you know my feelings: Brits shouldn’t be seen anywhere.

@Benedick: The story goes that he charmed them to the point of almost getting a commendation from them, then left Congress immediately, not stopping for luggage or his belongings, and got on the first boast to Europe he could find.

It may be apocryphal, but still.

Clearly you overestimate my age, by the way. It would take Toto songs to make me feel young.

@JNOV: The Official Debut Post is “Looks Like We Picked the Wrong Week to Quit Campaigning”:

Proving once again he’s not afraid to take bold steps in a crisis, John McCain concedes the presidential race five weeks before the election.

There are earlier posts in the system, but those were just stocking the pond.

@nojo: Ah. Thank you. Went to CP just now and got a 401 error.

@JNOV: Looks like Greg still controls the domain, but CP only exists in tatters at the Wayback Machine.

@SanFranLefty:

I think I remember those six bottles. But…

I do not recall what the rest of you were drinking.

Since I am a Chicago expat living as an 27+ year undocumented immigrant in esseff – does my drinking count for Chicago or SF?

@libertarian tool: Oh please, this is a sanctuary city. We are soo totally claiming that liver of yours for Ess Eff. Chicago can have the tatters of that Barrington Huffington whateverhisname is dude’s liver. And I discovered that Cynica has a photo from that wine-soaked lunch on the Book of Faces. Somehow you’re not in it, so I assume you wisely chose to take the photo.

@Benedick: Get.To.Chicago.