Gentleman’s F
Our guest columnist is the most clueless admissions office in the land.
At Drake, learning doesn’t just take place in a classroom. Nor is traditional learning the only goal. Sure you’ll get an excellent education here, but you’ll also be transformed by an experience that puts opportunity into action and gives purpose to your passion.
When we talk about D+, that’s what we mean. Every moment at Drake is one that has the power to educate, to transform, to open minds and to unleash potential – to introduce who you are, to who you hope to become.
Drake University Admissions
Great moments in collegiate marketing: Drake University’s ‘D+’ campaign [Yahoo]
There’s a restaurant in town called Blue C Sushi. A visiting friend from California (where every eating establishment is graded by the health department on a scale of A-F, a la grade school) remarked, “No one in California would ever name their restaurant with a C like that.” A C is, of course, the worst grade one can have and remain open.
This Drake thing is like that, but if the restaurant in question were actually located in the administrative buildings of the California Department of Health.
So which’ll be the next bubble to pop in our ¡bonkers! e-CON-omy: $tudent loan$ or “health”care?
Anyone wanna take bets?
You know what we need right now? Jon Hamm shirtless.
Bleh. So hairy.
@¡Andrew!:
Ooh, think they’ll allow cram downs on student loans?
@Tommmcatt: Cram-downs? Is this a West Village bathhouse?
@Tommmcatt :
I’m gonna solve my grad school student loan problem the olde-fashioned way: frying off my fingerprints, buying a passport of someone who sorta looks like me online, donning a fake moustache and a fedora, then fleeing the country.
@¡Andrew!:
Sex change is my advice. They’ll never look there…
@¡Andrew!: Since death or bankruptcy doesn’t discharge student loans, your proposal sounds the most possible…
@Tommmcatt: My fat cobra vigorously rebukes that idea.
My student loans had a discharge-at-death clause. I heard tell you could even get payments reduced through bankruptcy, though that might just have been wishful thinking.
@¡Andrew!:
Vigorous fat cobra. That sounds good.
@Tommmcatt: It’ll rebuke you twice a day on weekends.
WSJ, August 9, via a very timely tweet:
@nojo: And The Economist has a depressing chart showing how college fees have risen faster than Americans’ ability to pay them. Also, a column in their deliciously-named “Schumpeter” blog on American universities going the way of American car companies.
@Tommmcatt Cannot Be Arsed To Think About Sharon Angle: Very wishful thinking. There were some proposals this year in Congress to make it easier to discharge student loans, but currently it’s almost impossible, thanks to Shrub’s 2005 bankruptcy “reform” bills that made it impossible to even discharge “private” student loans from lenders like Citibank (my pimp) on a level with the federal student loans, which were already non-dischargeable.
An effort started last year called “Cancel Student Loan Debt to Stimulate the Economy,” but so far it hasn’t gotten anywhere other than some media coverage and pleas from bloggers.
@Mistress Cynica: So why would someone go $100,000 into debt to become a public school teacher, my conservative brother in law asked this evening.
A very good point. I think the Powers that Be have decided to price a college education out of reach of most people because a college education is the great leveler in society. Make it hard to get, expensive, and eventually the people will lack the ability to make informed judgments on the issues of the day.
BTW, Rand Paul is increasing his lead in Kentucky.
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: She thought three's company. Nope.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Gawd hates SIN, specifically Kyrsten SINema.
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! So long, Senatard Glitter-trash. I hope she knows how much everyone H8s her :0)
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! The racist kleptocratic MSM is really gonna have to crank up the bread and circuses now that their…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Ted Kazinski Sec of Interior Only the DEAD are extreme enough to serve in DONNIE…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Department of Health & Human Services: Charles Manson Defense Secretary:…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @¡Andrew!: Right, the administration's all star line up: Pres: Trump VP: Ted Kaczynski…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! @FlyingChainSaw: Actually, FDLE would be the first to admit it. The state banks on it with 'sue me…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! I cannot wait for the Republinazi MAGAt trash to DEMAND that $hitler be allowed to be president…
¡ANDREW! • TRUMP: MACHINE GUNNING ORPHANAGES AND CONVENTS BY ME IS CONSTITUTIONAL AND SOMETIMES IT MAKES ME ERECT WITHOUT PHARMACEUTICAL ASSISTANCE! Hoo boy, I’m guessing now former Tr666p lawyer Abracadabra *did not* get paid upfront in cash,…