Boom. Boom Boom Boom. Boom. Boom.

As our longtime unindicted co-conspirators know, Stinque World Domination Headquarters is conveniently located across I-5 from the Sandy Eggo Airport, which allows quick travel to our Pacific Dead Volcano Island when we need to launch nukes at alien invaders.

Another benefit is that the top of our hillock affords a nice view of Sandy Eggo’s annual Blow Shit Up Celebration, when the natives detonate thousands of dollars of synchronized explosives to appease the Area Earthquake Demons. This year we could see five simultaneous demonstrations from our vantage point, since last year’s paltry threesome clearly made the Area Earthquake Demons angry.

There had been talk of sacrificing a few virgins as well, but virgins haven’t been seen in Sandy Eggo since the Prop 8 stadium prayer meeting in 2008.


“…virgins haven’t been seen in Sandy Eggo since the Prop 8 stadium prayer meeting in 2008.”

Now, NOJO, you know very well that the only place to find actual virgins is in the dark recesses of their mom’s basement playing World of Warcraft. Most of those teen “promise keeper” types fuck like bunnies the minute they leave their abstinence-pledge prayer meeting.

T/J: Big surf at The Wedge, redux. The man in this picture is not me. It may be Nojo.

Do you guys get the day off?

Or is it at whims of your employers?

@Dodgerblue: I think noje’s guns are bigger.

@ManchuCandidate: Day off? Hahahahahahahahahahahaaha! We have sales. We shop. I’m at work. Stinque Law is most likely in penthouse suites in Nassau.

@ManchuCandidate: I don’t know the concept. There is either work, or there is not. Usually, there is.

@ManchuCandidate: Our office is closed today, but I was gonna take today off anyway. I’m perusing topo maps in my new tie dyed Endor Rebel pattern fishing shirt (it looks like the Rebels’ ponchos in ROTJ) that Son of RML made me per special request. Trying to determine whether to take big hike/fish for trout in the mountains, fish for warm water species at the lake, or just hike. Trying to get as many people on board as wanna be.

Last July 4 we went up the roof of my building to watch the Hudson River display, only to discover that a recently-completed condo building at 72nd and Broadway blocked the view. Fucking progress.

Last night it was so flipping foggy in Ess Eff we couldn’t see anything except occasional orange and red glows from the directions of Oakland and Daly City. Ess Eff moved its fireworks from the Embarcadero/Ferry Building area (with convenient mass transit access) to Midwest tourist mecca/hellhole of Fisherman’s Wharf and Ghiradelli Square, so even if it had been clear we wouldn’t have been able to see anything.

Sounds like bombs were going off in the Mission and the Castro, though.

Confidential to Nojo: Have you ever been to El Zarape on Park in University Heights? Have a lobster burrito for me if you do go.

Our small town fireworks display was moved from the high school football field (a convenient walk from our house) out to Evergreen Aviation, which would require driving. So we watched the sparklers and other small-scale fireworks set off by the (Hispanic immigrant) family down the street. Luckily, the noise doesn’t faze the cats. July must suck for dogs in this town.

TJ / Unrelated:

Anybody else seen this? The source is somewhat questionable, but it sounds like SOP for BP…

@SanFranLefty: Have you ever been to El Zarape on Park in University Heights?

Half-block up the street from Stinque Remote Office #1?

Silent Creative Partner and I had lunch there a month or so back.

@nojo: Hay-soos, that close? I’m surprised we didn’t run into you a couple of weeks ago when I was in Sandy Eggo for funeral fun. Mr. SFL and I went there twice in three days for burritos, he lived in the apartments across the street from it 13ish years ago when it first went in.

@SanFranLefty: A few months ago a camera car drove past Twiggs. I’m still waiting to show up in Google Street View smoking a cigarette.

You claim to be a resident of America’s Finest City and yet you do not know that our bit of paradise’s name is spelled “Sandy Ego”? Shame! Surfing rights pulled for a week! Sentenced to pooper-scooper duty on dog beach!

@gunnergoz: That’s right, scold him. He is naughty and deserves it.

On a more threadjack-y, less-creepy and insinuating note, Happy Fourth! I hope everyone had a good one, even Benedick.

@gunnergoz: My authority for the delicious frozen-waffle nomenclature is Silent Creative Partner, who grew up here.

And, as a resident of America’s Finest City, I know better than to hit OB on a holiday. The poop can wait.

@SanFranLefty: I thought that sounded really tasty, so I googled to see if I could find a recipe. Did you mean this kind of lobster burrito or this?

@karen marie: um, heh? Teh kidz these days with their lingo, such as.

Nothing asploding in lotuslandia. Depart in 20 hours for not-Tibet, taking orders for other than red prayer flags – that one is for JNOV.

@Nabisco: :-) Maybe just a symbolic act, but possibly a way closer to “god’s” ear, or at least to the universe’s. And I like they way they sound in the wind.

@Nabisco: The big carpet store closed on 28 – it’s right near Harley Davidson Woodstock – then became a chocolate/ice cream factory. That closed too and now it’s about to become the Tibet Shop! Which is good because my prayer flags are about worn out and I need some new ones. I’m also hoping for incense.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: He is naughty. Very naughty. The only that helps is a good spanking.

@karen marie: Smoking a joint during sex is a waste of the joint and the sex.

Hello! Yes, still alive! A friend and I were occupied for a while being very active, outdoorsy ladies by kayaking/camping in the San Juan Islands and hiking in Olympic National Park. It was fabulous and many things were seen: breathtaking scenery, many seals and bald eagles, Orca whales, very very big trees, and naked hikers bathing in natural hot springs (did I mention that some of the things we saw cannot be unseen? *shudder*).

We also happened to catch two sets of fireworks on our trip, as we were in Victoria, BC, for Canada Day on July 1 as well as Seattle on the 4th. Victoria’s was a pretty modest display, but it was sweet when all the Canucks (including the drunken, flag-draped youths) sang along with O Canada for the finale. Seattle’s were pretty cool with lots of geometric shapes (there must have been a killer two-for-one deal on those “Saturn” fireworks with the central sphere and ring around the outside), but we saw them through a blur of exhaustion before stumbling off to bed so we could get up for a flight home early the next morning.

@Dodgerblue: Dude, what are you talking about? Hooch and sex are a long-standing Cali tradition!

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: But not simultaneous, is my point. And never have sex while on a hallucinogen.

@flippin eck:

Oh haaaay, did you make your flight to San Juan Island on time? I was muy nervioso.

Sounds like you had a blast. I hope you stayed warm–it’s been so *&^%$#@ cold here!


I’m with Tommmy on this one. Maui Wowie and the resulting mind-blowing secks turned me into a total ZJ stoner during the Legendary Lost Summer of ’94.

@Original Andrew: Yup. Thanks again for the lift! And the cold weather wasn’t bad since we were pretty active the whole time…but it did make for a pretty violent temperature shift yesterday, what with leaving 60-degree Seattle and arriving in 90-degree Chicago.

@flippin eck:

In Seattle, the air-conditioning is on the outside.

@Benedick: Sometime I think they are willfully ignorant of such weighty matters…

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Have you ever seen Japanese tentacle porn? I’m guessing that this originated with somebody on acid shtupping somebody else, and things getting really weird.

@Dodgerblue: Tentacle-schmenticle. Viagra and shrooms are God’s secret gift to mankind. That goes double for emotigins like my beloved XTC.

Oh, and by the way, feel free to use my name. Just don’t share these little, um, talks we have…

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: I know. I think that we here on the pink team owe it to our brothers on the grey team to keep them up to date. I’m calling HQ in the morning. Possibly this is part of HRC’s world domination plan, I don’t know. Those gays are too fancy for me. But these guys are our friends. Some of them are coping with their own struggle to ditch the bitch and switch. They have to know there is a pair of chaps with their name on it waiting.

@Dodgerblue: It’s about being helpless. A way of being raped without, you know, being raped. So I’m told. And such as.

Speaking of earthquakes, that piledriver down the street is really throwing off my chi.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: OK, I’ll keep tentacle porn off the table for now. So to speak.

@Dodgerblue: Japanese tentacle porn? Really? To paraphrase Nojo’s comment last week about being edu-ma-kated by me and JNOV about ears being erogenous zones, I learn so much from being around you boys.

@SanFranLefty: Oh yeah. A friend of mine who travels to Japan frequently says that men openly read this kind of stuff in the commuter trains.

@Dodgerblue: I’m guessing I shouldn’t Google it on the office computer.

@SanFranLefty: Good plan. You will find it offensive for any number of reasons.

@Dodgerblue: Hey, there’s a female soccer fan in today’s WCHotD post. You’re welcome.


It predates the discovery of acid by a *weeee* bit. Combine that with a strict post-war pr0n code (“no wangs allowed”) and you get modern tentacle porn.

Add a Comment
Please log in to post a comment