Mike Lee is a Loser

It looks like we won’t have Mike Lee to kick around after tonight, when he shames his fellow clones by going down in blazes in the Republican runoff for the Utah Senate nomination. Mike Lee’s last-minute flurry of emails to us Monday had the putrid smell of flop sweat, betraying the cardinal rule that Mike Lee Never Shows Fear. (Mike Lee smells bad enough in conventional circumstances, which is why there’s always a Cone of Distance surrounding him at movies.) Utah voters were also taken aback after the bombshell revelations that Mike Lee sponsored an East Coast horse race on Sunday and curses like a motherfucker on his blog.

Speaking from experience, we can honestly say that we wouldn’t trust Mike Lee to subclass an NSURLConnection. How can we trust him in the Senate?



i’m not through with you. a mature person would walk away, but that wouldn’t describe me. although your knowledge of the proper way to crucify a person is impressive, you are an ignorant human being.
you see, i am a citizen of both USA! and Israel, and no furner will diss them in my presence in such an ill informed way. sure we all do it here, that’s what we do. but your statement just shows your deep seated bigotry. and we have no room for that here. i have talked to many friends in israel and they really don’t know wtf goes on, as we don’t really know about USA! we make fun of what what we are able to see. which is very little. i dig for news, read opinions, and still am often baffled. unless you have a direct line to the Mossad, your remark was incredibly ignorant, racist and stupid.

@baked: If we hold the US’s feet to the fire (INCLUDING OBAMA’S), why not do the same with Israel when *she* fucks up? And she DOES FUCK UP! (Sharon on the Temple Mount, anyone?) Israel doesn’t get a pass. At least not from me. Maybe the 1/8 Jew I’ve got isn’t enough to allow me to criticize the damn-near prehistoric homeland. Maybe I’m a self-loathing racist anti-Semite in disguise. I’m sure you’ll let me know.

good morning darling…i know you aren’t racist in the least, and your opinions are fact based. and who makes fun of israel more than me?
i totaly agree with you, and i love to hold anyone’s feet to the fire (tony hayward these days) but i can smell a racist.
i’d love to go with you to israel. that 1/8 will bloom. it’s a teeny strip of sand surrounded on all sides by billions of people who want them dead. maybe i just root for the underdog, though no one there thinks they are, which makes me cry.

@baked: :sigh:: But I don’t want to go to Israel, and you weren’t too thrilled there, either. My point is that when we didn’t respond as you wanted to the Thomas piece, you took it as a personal affront and lost your shit. In labeling those of us who don’t hold your same views as anti-Semites and racists, you basically shut down any sort of constructive dialogue we may have had.

If I were to go to Israel (I couldn’t gain citizenship because my GGmother is on my father’s side — that’s some bullshit there), and they were to say, “Welcome Home,” I’d be like, really? This hasn’t been my ancestors’ home for damn near 1,000 years. But 60 or so years ago, a shitton of Palestinians called it home, and now they’re truly fucked.

It’s this colonization bullshit where people who don’t know what the FUCK they’re doing carve up Africa, the Asian Subcontinent, and the Middle East based on what they as outsiders think should be done without a thought given to the people who actually live there presently.

I would like to see the cedars in Lebanon, though…

one thing. it aint prehistoric. prehistoric buildings are the backdrop of a modern city (jerusalem) bursting with agriculture, technology, medicine, art, you name it. i would have to dig, but off the top of my head i know microsoft, just to name one, has a major outpost there.

now i feel like bitching about it and that SABRA WHORE who stole my husband for awhile. i'm going to the drug store, see how i get un anesthetized?

In the If General McClellanChrystal doesn’t want to use the army, I would like to borrow it department.

There Nojo, I gave you a linque and a sub-header, for free. Now, please leave Mike Lee alone so he can spend time with his lemurs and airplanes, or he’ll drive down from Cupertino in his Scion and kick your motherfuckin ass. Kthxbye.

remember when we web chatted when i was there? i was so miserable!
this is good stuff…i really am going to the pharmacy now, let’s pick it up and invite others to join the dialogue.
“never talk about politics or religion” fuck that.
also, it’s hot as a motherfucker here, how’s by you?

@baked: True — not prehistoric in the sense that they didn’t have a written lang, etc., but the temporal distance is sooooo huge, that it might as well be. But if we’re going to go the prehistoric route, who built some of those buildings they’re uncovering in archeological digs? Most likely Canaanites who became monotheistic (AKA Jews) over a long period of time. No exodus from Egypt. No Abram/Abraham on the Temple Mount. No Issac. Maybe David. But we’re not exactly sure because *they* didn’t keep records that stood the test of time like the Egyptians did, and most Biblical “history” was oral tradition written much later than the inception of Judaism.

My point is that so much of the justification of Zionism is based on a work of fiction, The Bible, and as most cultures do, a mythology has been built around who owns the land. Access to natural resources brings out the best in human beings.

Not more about fucking Mike Lee! God, I hate that motherfucker. The name alone makes my skin crawl. I just hope that after he goes down in flames someone kicks him in the nuts. I’m tempted to get on a plane so I can do it myself. Before I piss on him. Motherfucker.

@baked: You’re fine. And I know this hits so very close to home. I have a problem with you tossing about of words like “racist” and “Anti-Semite” that are causing this to turn into some sort of board war instead of a discussion. Can’t we all just get along? Of course not, not always. But we’re thoughtful, bright, compassionate people from all walks of life with many different experiences and histories. We should try to learn from each other and further understanding rather than abuse each other.

All abuse should be heaped on Mike Lee. He deserves it. ;-)

@JNOV: @Benedick: Mike Lee, how does he work?

Oh that’s right, he doesn’t, I mean, he drives a Scion. Probably wipes his Cheetos-stained fingers on his Old Navy boxers, as well.

Some parting thoughts before I go to bitch to an old(er) professor about the (I’m gonna say it) racists in my ESL class. Maybe I am a fool, but just like we don’t tend to have honest discussions about race, we don’t tend to have them about the Middle East. We sell ourselves short if we think we can’t turn off third rails; we can. But if we don’t learn how to talk about the tough stuff, we’re never going to make any progress.

Much love to all of you.

Fuck that Mike Lee bastard.

@Nabisco: Don’t make me have to think about Mike Lee’s underwear!


ok, just let me explain my very twisted feelings about the whole mess.
first and foremost, i’m NO zionist. how many times have i suggested that they move the whole damn country to the caribbean? we have40 uninhabited islands in the T&C chain! yes, i have a soft spot for USA! and israel. those are the 2 passports i carry, but i live in the carib!
in the 8 months i spent there i came to understand certain things that baffled me about the israelis. if you like i can tell you stories. or happily change the subject. before i left the house, i went into RB’s office and he was talking to an employee over there (24 years old, tall and lanky, blond shoulder length hair and the bluest eyes i ever saw…YOWZA, calm down mrs. robinson!) anyway, i was practically in tears and told him why. he was sooo non plussed i couldn’t believe it. he said, you’re wasting your time. people will believe what they want, period. mind you, when i was there i was the one saying everything JNOV has pointed out. i sought out the arab israeli citizens, and how do they feel about not having the right to vote? there’s some bullshit right there. my heart goes out to the palestinians, something you wouldn’t dare utter over there.
we had dinner at his parents home every friday night. his father is a doctor and was part of the team that invented the pill you swallow with the camera in it. his sister, also blonde and gorgeous is 2 years older and has made the military her career. she trains 17 year olds to use those scary weapons–so her father can continue his research.
my best friend (and pot supplier!) is the most laid back mellow dude you ever want to meet. i met him standing in line somewhere, and he leaned over and said something to me in hebrew. i said i don’t speak hebrew, and he responded in perfect limey english. he went to israel to fight in one war or another and stayed. this talented musician and all around fun guy went ice cold if iran or hamas was brought up. and the gunnery instructor who could be a model? her beautiful soft eyes went steely. it was scary, and i don’t really understand it. RB and i always say “we are children of the universe” so in the end i’m sorry to have had a knee jerk reaction. i was the first one on the phone with israel asking everyone wtf are you doing? after the incident that karen marie brought up. i wanted answers. all i got was Mossad doesn’t share classified info” which leaves us where we started. i am terribly conflicted about what goes on there and in the USA! that’s why i live in the caribbean.

@baked: i am terribly conflicted about what goes on thereeverywhere and in the USA! that’s why i live in the caribbean ramble.

That’s me, Baked.

ADD: @Capt Howdy: Prolly explains why le Franch are rolling over to the Rainbow Nation in Sport right now. O les bleus, je suis tout solee or somesuch.

i love you all, except for that asshole mike lee.
i truly want to buy the world a coke.
settle down baked, settle down.

beesko, terrist fist bump.
we want to fix the world, we want everyone to get along. the only way that’s possible is if JNOV skypes me and sings “atlas” “don’t you try to hold the world up” sets me straight every time.
can’t be said enough, i dearly love you all.

@Capt Howdy: Obama has called him to D.C. for a tete a tete. I think the Pentagon always tries to manipulate the President through the media. I’d suggest that someone’s nuts in a jar would be a good symbol here.

@Dodgerblue: We love baked as much as we hate Mike Lee. There, I said it.

darling mum… that means more than you realize.

you are such a kind feisty intelligent person. and i was hoping you would respond. when i was over there saying to them what you said here, i got into some fight the DJ situations.. i sure wish you were there to back up what we both think. philly gave us muscle, and the arcs of our stomping grounds, mental problems and education are so close. so thanks for engaging. my reaction was emotional, not rational. i love you spunky one.

btw, did you unwrap the damn book yet?

Some mornings it feels like a riot broke through the wall of your production number.

@nojo: I like Blazing Saddles references early in the morning. “‘Scuse me while I whip this out . . .”

@nojo: “And the hipposlemurs boiled in their tanks” is a suitable headline for the morning fishwrap out yonder.

every one of my comments says, “awaiting moderation”
i don’t think anything i said was ban-worthy. so what does that mean?
i’ve never seen it before…..

@baked: When someone opens a thread by insulting another commenter over an unrelated subject, it makes me very uncomfortable.

me too. i apologize to karen marie, and also want her to know i feel just as furious over the attack. i got emotional.
so what is the net net?
are you banning me? deleting the thread? what?

Hey, look over there! Mark Sanford has gone awol again!

I could post a semi-pornographic picture of some hot leather bottom if you guys feel like that would help resolve things at all.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Does the leather heat up during sex? Does it ever catch fire?

@Dodgerblue: Presumably, the Argentinian firecracker; but truly, he’s awol from work, noone knows where he went. The Lt. Gov. is in a tizzy, doesn’t know if he’s in charge or not.

@Prommie: Wasn’t it Fathers Day weekend the last time he went AWOL on the Appalachian Trail?

@baked: I’m not banning anyone, and the thread is not deleted. But it might remain in purgatory a very long time. At least until I have a coffee.

@SanFranLefty: Sigmund Freud would know what to make of that, not me.

thanks. i would really be crushed to get banned here.
the middle east is a tinderbox, and i, for one, don’t plan on discussing it’s politics. as much as i know, i ultimately no nothing. my reaction was solely based on what i perceived to be a rough statement from someone i rightly or wrongly thought knew less. just another opportunity to freak about what is wrong with this world. why can’t we get along?
btw, the gist of my message to her was, we don’t insult each other here.
she struck a chord, and i wanted to tell her why. i am sorry.
i respect that enormously and it’s what i love about this joint.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: I’m going to be on Larry Mantle’s “Air Talk” around 11. I’ll try to use the word “hose” as an homage.

@Dodgerblue: I’ll be listening, if this is the link.

I won’t call in, though.

ADD: Unless you want me to.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Yep. You can even post questions. He’s on right now.

@SanFranLefty: Judge’s opinion just came in: moratorium enjoined. We got hosed.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Yes. My segment is right after the news, at least at present.

@Dodgerblue: Gibbs just said the White House will appeal.
Good luck to them in the Fifth Circuit.

Mike Lee just sent a LARGE-TYPE BOLDFACE message…

We only have 8 hours to go and everything depends on your dedication to go vote. Then get your friends and family to vote as well. This election is going to be extremely CLOSE and every vote is going to count. Momentum has definitely been building and we need the final push and effort to get us over the finish line. Will you COMMIT now to calling as many people that you know that wants to see Mike Lee go on to victory and prompt them to go vote? Your effort is essential for success to see Mike Lee become the next Senator of Utah and to get our country back on track.

Will you please annoy all your friends on behalf of Mike Lee? Mike Lee thanks you.

It’s about 11:15 am Lefty Dodger Time. Is DB on ?

Just the choir calling in approving of the preacher’s action.

@redmanlaw: Yes, now folks are calling in to ask questions

@redmanlaw: yeah. talked, now holding for q’s.

@SanFranLefty: you got that right.

@Dodgerblue: His airplane crash is not a good analogy – what about volcano ash or 9/11?

@Dodgerblue: Great minds, etc.
Waiting for “hose” though…tap…tap…tap..

Meta tie-in headline from ThinkProgress:

“Mike Lee Wants Low Liability Cap For Oil Companies, Even If It Places ‘Taxpayers On The Hook’”

Mike Lee is a douche.

@Dodgerblue: Is anybody going to mention this isn’t just about economics? Tell that to the dead oil rig workers’ families. It’s about human lives put at risk by oil companies cutting corners.

My emailed comment:

The gentleman from the AEI as well as other callers belittling the moratorium as a fear based reaction to the BP disaster fail to note that the Air Force has in the past grounded all F-15 flights for at least a few weeks after a series of crashes in order to investigate the causes and develop a solution.

Did the Air Force take a fear based action in the face of the issue with the F-15? AEI and other callers opposed to the moratorium would say ‘yes’, although the Air Force took a rational step to determine the problem and develop a solution.

@SanFranLefty: the Judge’s opinion is all about economics.

@redmanlaw: Good point. I thought the AEI guy was going to asplode.

So deep-water drilling is allowed again? Yay, now I can fuck on my boat!

@Prommie: Is the Fifth Circuit for or against deepwater fucking?

@Dodgerblue: Fifth Circuit is for it only within the confines of a heterosexual white Christian marriage, done missionary style while praising Jeebus and ExxonMobil, and strictly for procreative purposes.

AAUGH! Dodger, I can’t believe I missed you on ye olde airwaves machine! Stupid Dr. appointment!

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: I kept waiting for the moderator to say “Tommcatt from West Hollywood, you’re on the air, what’s your question?” but it never came…

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Your hose is now immortalized on the internets, at least among a select few.

@Dodgerblue: So the next time you’re interviewed and you’re asked about the apparent conflict of interest of the district judge in Louisiana owning stock in more than 20 drilling companies, will you say “It stinques of a conflict of interest”?

Breaking – Mcchrystalmethod OUT- Tenders resignation to POTUS.

@redmanlaw: That’s one way to orchestrate getting out when things are going to shit in Afghanistan. Now he can get that talking-head gig on FOX.

1. Why are my comments now awaiting moderation?

2. What happened to the rest of the thread?

3. Am I losing my mind?

4. Should I go out with bike/bus riding musician/guitar teacher? Saw him again today, and Beesko was right. BBRMGT asked me out. I haven’t been on a date in, um, seven years? Something like that. Blargh.

@JNOV: Thread? What thread? Maybe you are losing your mind.

@Benedick: I wouldn’t. I’d keep that little piece of shit on a short leash and send his ass to the front with a sack of grenades and a flamethrower looking for OBL himself. AND have him command the 69th Screaming Queens when DADT gets repealed. AND put a media blackout on him. AND keep his sorry ass out in the fucking boonies until way past January 2012.

@redmanlaw: Remember the movie “No Time For Sargeants”? Somebody got made a Permanent Latrine Orderly. Would be good for McCracker.

@JNOV: The Morning Exchange is sitting in purgatory until I feel like dealing with it.

1. See here.
2. See #1
3. No
4. Yes!
5. No


@Dodgerblue: Good job on the radio program today. You sound more like a radio person than the host. And I mean that as a compliment. Every 5th word out of my mouth would have been “uh” followed by 4 words in a high pitched twang.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: Hey, you just described my regular speaking style! Except I would also speaking at three times normal speed.

@SanFranLefty: It’s about human lives put at risk by oil companies cutting corners.
Darling, are you suggesting that the individual human lives of “small people” are more important than corporate profits and shareholder dividends? Hahahahaha, that is fucking adorable! Do you also believe in the Easter bunny?

@nojo: K. Sent an email.

@SanFranLefty: <3 Effin dates! How do they work?

@redmanlaw: I’m not seeing that yet, but apparently The General’s Press Aide — who arranged the interview — just took a hit.

@mellbell: Heh. He’s a nice musician. Does not compute.

ADD: Could be that North Carolina honey accent making me stupid.

@JNOV: Go out with him, but do not, under any circumstances, lend him money.

@Mistress Cynica: Haha! He knows I’m broke! Heh. Good advice, always!

@nojo: @redmanlaw: From CNN:

Gen. Stanley McChrystal has submitted his resignation, Time magazine’s Joe Klein told CNN, citing an unnamed source. CNN is working to confirm Klein’s information.

So, maybe.

@Mistress Cynica: Ah. USA Today, 5:29 pm ET:

President Obama said Gen. Stanley McChrystal exhibited “poor judgment” in a newly released magazine interview, but he wants to speak with the general “directly” tomorrow before deciding whether to fire him.

Explains why it’s not all over Google News.

@Tommmcat Still Gets Carly Confused With Meg: Haha! He’s already made that perfectly clear. I turned my nose up at one option (The Outback), and I’ve got to call him to hammer out the details. So, basically I already said yes. Um, immediately. I’m going to see that we go somewhere with more bang (and better food) for the buck. Less expensive better food means MORE BEERS!

TJ Continued/ I’m used to “hanging out” not “going on a date.” I was asked “on a date” by a very nice man (so far). Again, the Southern manners could be making me stupid. I’m already stupid about the pubic trans/bike/band/guitar business. Nice guys — how do they work?

ADD: And I look like shit, as usual. Blargh.

@JNOV: I haven’t been on a date since the Carter Administration.

@Dodgerblue: Married people need not brag. ;-P

@JNOV: Effin dates! How do they work?
If you figure this out, do tell!

@JNOV: I’m already stupid about the pubic trans . . .
Dr Freud, to the bridge.

@flippin eck: Right? Sheesh. Does he want arm candy, or does he want to get to know me? Nice bar/restaurant with kick ass food and stuff to do like darts (Woot!) or quiet conversation? Hell if I know.

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