eBay Meets the Dark Side
We being here in Sandy Eggo, we only find ourselves thinking about illegal immigration when a political candidate takes the time to demagogue about it. The weather’s just too fucking nice here to break a sweat about undocumented Canadians taking the window seats in the coffeehouse.
Our casual disregard hasn’t stopped Meg Whitman, former CEO of an online garage-sale company whose name evokes a suspiciously Hispanic body of water, from running on the issue in her quest to be declared insane by spending $64 million on her race for California governator. Her television commercials and Web videos are now highlighting her dogged fight against foreigners who would dare mispopulate good American towns like San Diego, Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Jose, San Bernardino, and Daly City.
But just in case you’re not entirely sure where she’s coming from, Meg just scored an important endorsement:
There is no disputing that Meg Whitman is the Republican the Democrats fear the most in this election. The unions and the Democratic donors invested in Attorney General Jerry Brown’s success have already started to run misleading ads attacking Meg Whitman. This is a clear admission on their part that Meg is the toughest Republican candidate for governor. The Democrats know that Meg can beat them in November, and, more importantly, they know she will put an end to the failed status quo in Sacramento as governor.
I encourage my fellow Republicans to vote for Meg Whitman. She is a woman of courage, a leader with conviction, a true fiscal conservative and champion of the values we hold dearest.
Ladies and gentlemen, Dick Cheney. Good luck this fall against Governor Moonbeam, Meg.