Radar Exclusively Reports That Its John Roberts Exclusive Was Exclusively Wrong
Meanwhile, Stinque exclusively reports that Antonin Scalia was devoured by a pack of rabid hyenas. Check back for exclusive updates!
EXCLUSIVE: U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts Considering Stepping Down [Radar]
Update: Stinque has obtained new information that Antonin Scalia was NOT devoured by a pack of rabid hyenas, but drowned during a tryst with horny manatees.
Update: Stinque can exclusively report that Antonin Scalia survived his manatee three-way, only to succumb later to autoerotic asphyxiation.
Update: Stinque has learned that Antonin Scalia slipped his noose, but the gerbil remains at large inside his colon.
Update: Due to a mistranscription, we misreported the last exclusive update. Antonin Scalia is actually wedged up the gerbil’s colon. Stinque exclusively regrets the error.
Update: What was exclusively identified to Stinque as a gerbil has now been exclusively redescribed as a furry. Antonin Scalia’s position remains unchanged.
Update: Stinque exclusively reports that the furry is Clarence Thomas.
I wonder if he’s visited the Vatican recently.
You know you’re in trouble when the National Enquirer has a better track record.
@nojo: Yeah, well, Radar is not up for a Pullet Surprise.
Sad panda. He’s not getting gay married after all.
Great stuff, Nojo. Everyone counts on Stinque to be out in front with the bestiality angle.
Stinque: All The Gerbils Who Fit, We Print
What a sad excuse for CJ … Roberts should hide in shame.
That website makes me thirsty for pink lemonade.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @ManchuCandidate: So, can you guys annex us now?
MANCHUCANDIDATE • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! PP is done. 51st state, my ass.
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: No, but my government was.
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @nojo: Were you kidnapped?
NOJO • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! @FlyingChainSaw: I’ve spent the past five weeks looking like Astronaut Dave going through the…
FLYINGCHAINSAW • TRUMP TARIFFS UNLEASHING FURY OF CANADIANS - AND THEIR LEGENDARY SNIPERS! NOJO - HOW COME WE'RE NOT COVERING KRASNOV?
NOJO • The Reckoning Four years later: Uhhh, how’d that work out?
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread @nojo: yeah. I had a feeling you’d say that.
NOJO • Hanging by a Thread @JNOV: Haven’t touched a thing — checked it the other day, worked from here. But that’s my…
JNOV • Hanging by a Thread Oh! My edits worked! Praise nojo!