Masturbating Bear to Headline White House Correspondents Dinner

What’s up with Conando in that photo? He looks like one of the Men in Black.

Nojo, did you watch tonight’s show? Fucking epic! And I loved Jimmy’s tribute at the start of his show.

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: NANANANANANANA!!!

I’m not listening until it plays on the West Coast.

@nojo: Oops. Sorry. I forgot that we’re an hour ahead of y’all right now. Stupid daylight savings (or lack thereof).

@TJ/ Jamie Sommers /TJ: So that’s why Fallon’s studio is backwards: It’s across the hall!

Most awesome comment of the day:

I really used to enjoy The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson. But now…I can’t hardly stand to watch it. Last night I thought I was going to vomit. That trashy, filthy mouth of his is more than I can stand. (The only reason I’ve been watching it the last few weeks is because there is something wrong with my TV and I can only get CBS for some reason. Last night I decided to go to the refrigerator and eat rather than watch that horrible show!) What is this country coming to? We need to clean up television–big time. I’m very disappoinited in Craig F. and CBS. No wonder the Man Upstairs is sending us all those natural disasters. I’m afraid the USA mainland doesn’t have much time left.

I sure would hate to account to the Man Upstairs for all the damage I caused with such a dirty mouth. Eternity is a very, very, very long time!!! God help us!!!

Signed, Letitia Segyde.

Oh, come now — the whole thing has to be a fake, right? Nobody talks like that!

Nobody except Letitia Segyde, anyway.

@nojo: Amazingly, her head seems to be crowned with the bristles of a well-used toilet brush, neatly trimmed with power tools.

@FlyingChainSaw: Letitia and I have something in common — a mole in the same spot on our faces. I’m just hoping mine doesn’t begin to look like a parasitic twin fighting the get the hell out of Batshit Crazy’s visage.

@nojo: The responses to her comment are delightful.

Why is that bear beating up his colostomy bag?