We’ll Provide the Milquetoast

Fuhhhhhk.

Pfft.

Jeebus, it’s only Thursday.

This reminds me of what I call the “Three Noes” as done in the Simpson Episode, “Bart’s Comet” when Principal Skinner screams “Nooo!” in increasingly louder and more shrill as the bad things just pile on.

only if I can do it Mystery Science Theater 3000 style

The only people who will show up at these things will be teabaggers and neonazis who will walk into the hosts’ home, drop trou and take a wet shit on the living room floor and then set about killing and raping the occupants – in exactly that order – and burning down the house, and finally taking a long piss on the smoldering ashes.

@FlyingChainSaw: And we’ll express concern about their behavior, promising to do something about it if we can get bipartisan support for a solution.

I used to be disgusted, then I was amused, then I was hopeful, then somehow I became disgusted again. I was happier as a nihilist.

how about if I host a Death Watch Party for the democratic majority?

@Capt Howdy: That’s pretty much this website for the rest of the year.

@Capt Howdy:
At least they had the sense not to claim it was permanent.

@ManchuCandidate:

a thousand year reich of democrats

*shudder*

You all see that Air America went belly up today? Ex-Wonkettes once again out of work.

@redmanlaw: NO! I just asked her a question today. Oh, shit. I guess this wasn’t the best time to say, “Hi, how are ya?” Ugh.

@redmanlaw: Ana Marie’s hubby was let go in a CQ bloodbath a few months back. Pray for the puppy.

A little Metallica couldn’t hurt now.

“Then it comes to be that the soothing light at the end of your tunnel
Was just a freight train coming your way”

“No Leaf Clover”

@redmanlaw: Thank god Rachel Maddow and Al Franken found other jobs.

@redmanlaw: Or BOCs “Power Beneath Despair”

Benedick would have to travel all the way to Haiti to find Johnny Millll and give him a back rub.

And his hair looks like shit.

Hey, Barry, trot out that “We are the people we’ve been waiting for” line next week. That’s always good for a laugh.

Original Wonkette’s FB Status: “Ana Marie Cox – Drinking.”

This was really the wrong day to run out of anti-depressants. The new shipment better get here soon.

@Mistress Cynica: Yeah, I mean, all of a sudden I’m really wanting a Xanax, and I just took one. Meh. One more won’t hurt…

Just caught the last 90 seconds of Tweety discussing the political efficacy of pickup trucks, and the populist charm of whoring your daughters.

That’s why his program is a lot tougher than the Sunday shows.

Oh, and I guess I’m supposed to care about the corporate free-speech decision today, because of the deleterious effect it’ll have on our politics.

@nojo: populist charm of whoring your daughters

I assume you refer to the delightful Scott Brown and his cringe-making offer to sell his daughters for political gain. Or ok, just one of them, after he thought about it for a minute.

I would consider hosting one of these “watch” parties, but the flat-screen teevees in my house are all I’ve got. I can’t have disgusted disappointed Democrats throwing up all over them. As it is I’m already thinking strategic default (especially if I can scoot away with my flat-screen teevees).

@nojo: Yeah, people seem to be really concerned about this. I’m just, like, okay, so now the corporations are gonna start controlling everything? Doubleplusgood, finally, somebody is pulling the strings behind the curtains.

@FlyingChainSaw: The best thing about teabaggers is that they like to emerge from their government subsidized basements, take government subsidized mass transit or drive on government roads, to these “Rallies” where the costumed dweebs (someone has to expand on their love for colonial garb) gather in a tight mob, so as to make them look crowded together for the carefully arranged Fox News shots of what seems never to be less than millions of enraged “Patriots.”

Its a good thing, because they make themselves wonderful targets for concentrated automatic weapons fire. The only reason some would survive is because the mass of bodies will inevitably sheild some of the wounded.

@Pedonator: Reagrding these daughters, at least the older one is completely fair game, as a performing artist putting herself in the public eye purposefully.

I eagerly await the sex tapes. Its almost certain that the soon-to-be-senator centerfold and his music video bikini wife have filmed themselves, too.

They have the smell of “swinger” on them, this family, if you know any swingers, its a subtle, but noticeable vibe they put off, and one of the most noticeable things is a tendency on the part of the male to take pride in the sexual attractiveness of his womens, they love it, they will proudly say “look at my wife, hot piece of ass, huh?” Most men have an absolute aversion to seeing other men get horned up for their wives, daughters, but Brown clearly loves to even encourage people to lust after his daughters, and I am betting, his wife, too. We have seen Brown showing this creepy behavior with his daughters now, more than once, I will bet you its habitual with him, because its what you do with you wife at a swinger party. His military background, even, thought not something I would say is a marker, is also another suggestive piece of evidence, swinging is more common among military people. Mark my words.

@Pedonator: Perhaps you could arrange for friends in coveralls and an unmarked van to “repo” said teevees before the default.

@Promnight: I look forward to the tapes.

But the prospect of them being swingers or cuckold-fetishists or anything other than consenting adults will not affect my political judgment of the new Senator.

I have not paid enough attention to the race, but the brief exposures of Scott I’ve had lead me to believe he’s much like Dear Leader, in that he’s partisan but willing to say almost anything and everything so you can read whatever you want into his agenda.

Plus, I tend to like men named Scott, so I’ll give him some leeway. He’s still sort of handsome, in a very bland way, he has that going for him, just like Barack.

The way the Democrats have performed since 2006, with triumph (for the party) after triumph failing to translate into any concrete improvement in policy, foreign OR domestic, leaves me underwhelmed about supporting any of them in the upcoming mid-terms.

@Pedonator: The funny thing is, in the only extended transcripts of his remarks I have ever read, he comes across as very moderate, middle of the road, but the GOP will be taking him to school, I am sure, on making sure his every utterance is partisan and hateful.

@Promnight: We’ll see. I think Scott wants to have his tea and eat it too. He may be positioned even better than Palin to milk the Tea Party for all it’s worth and then spectacularly toss it aside when political expediency demands.

Hey, after last night and all the great advice and comforting concern you all responded with regarding my back issue, I owe you all an update.

At this point, the lead doctor for me is this neurosurgeon, who as I mentioned, had attrocious bedside manners and an arrogance, which I took as scepticism and unconcern. On the other hand, I have researched him, and he is very much a specialist in disc problems, respected for his surgery, and also, he is known for a very conservative initial approach. Not bad to hear.

I called today, and got a nurse, all I said was “there is no improvement, I am in pain,” and they scheduled me to see him tomorrow. Good news.

@Promnight: Too lazy to double-check, but I think Happy Trail is pro-choice.

Teabaggers will eat their own, no doubt — they’re quite busy at it already. But even if Barney is now trying to walk back his immediate reaction Tuesday night, the fact is that Demrats are doing their best to make sure they’re the appetizer.

@Promnight: I missed out on last night’s back pain thread, and I have minimal personal experience in this, only close friends who have had severe back pain on and off for years.

One has had many surgeries and it only seems to get worse. Other has done drugs, physical therapy, etc. and gets better for periods and then comes back.

All I got to recommend is, beware, beware back surgery. Do your research on the surgeon and the outcomes and triple that. So many times it doesn’t do good, and so many times it actually makes it worse.

@nojo: Barney is the poster-child of political expediency. Fuck Him.

Ok, no.

I would not do that. I would not tap that with a ten foot pole. I would not tap that for a quick blow. I wouldn’t tap that on his knees. I wouldn’t tap that in a breeze.

I wouldn’t go there oh my no.
I wouldn’t want to be his ho.
I wouldn’t, couldn’t, contemplate
Being Barney’s catamite

If I held stock in Goldman Sachs
I wouldn’t worry about tax
I’d know my gov’mnt protects me
All the risks are guaranteed

When people complain about losing their jobs
I polish my gold-plated knob
When people complain about oligarchy
I sharpen my foreman’s machete

@Pedonator: I have heard violently opposed opinions on surgery vs. all other therapies. My mind is open.

Before I got my MRI results, just this Monday, and had them interpreted for me Wednesday, unofficially, my fear was that I had one of those intractable, no identifiable cause, situations. I am actually very relieved that the MRI shows a very significant , but discrete, disc bulge directly impinging on the spinal cord exactly where it would have to be to cause my symptoms.

I am relieved that tomorrow I will not be talking about subjective feelings of pain, but rather, an objective physical condition causing that pain. I have an open mind.

But thus far, he has given me no pain meds, and for over two weeks now, I have taken none, and its wearing me down, and I want fucking relief from the symptoms, right now, even if only for a few hours each day.

Every motion hurts. Reaching up above my head hurts, I am OK standing, I can tolerate sitting, in wierd postures, I am not happy even lying in bed, and I cannot sleep through the night anymore, but any transition from sitting to standing to lying down, any transition, is excruciating. Since he did not prescribe pain meds after I described my pain, I assumed I was a whiner, and just put up with it. A few weeks of this, and I am at the end of my rope. I am reallly near fucking losing my mind. Its a cumulative thing, a couple of weeks of being unable to wash below my waist, put on socks, get in and out of a car without breathtaking pain, and I am near tears at times, just fucking ready to lay down and say “fuck it, I am not moving anymore, it hurts too fucking much.”

@Promnight: Demand pain meds. Didn’t mean to suggest that surgery is always bad. Just that a couple people I’ve known have had back surgery, with good short-term results, then long-term had the pain come back. And at that point you don’t want to compile surgery upon surgery. Each case is unique. I am not a doctor. Etc.

@Promnight: I have had great results from breaking down in uncontrollable sobs in the doctor’s office. Once I left with 100 lortabs. You need to say exactly what you said right here, but punctuated with gut-wrenching sobs. Now is no time to play the stoic.

@Promnight: You won. You proved you’re not some Oxycontin-snorter which is why he didn’t give you the good shit sooner.

Yogic breathing. Inhale for eight counts, hold for two counts, exhale for eight counts, hold for two counts. Do that ten times. Then do it holding down alternating nostrils (inhale with one, exhale with the other, then reverse). If nothing else, it so fucking distracts you to focus with your breathing that three hours go by and you didn’t realize it and you forgot about your pain for a while. I did this for two to five weeks a few times a day after having my chest cracked open and going on a heart-lung machine, and shit thee not it worked for me. it should work for you at least marginally. Plus if you do it right, you get really light headed and pass or space out. That’s THE BEST!

@SanFranLefty: Have I ever told you my problem with “yogic breathing?” This might be the coolest neurotic tic ever. I did the yoga thing, and here is what happens to me when I am breathing yogically; to me, concentrating on and focusing on your breathing, thats like turning off the autopilot, and taking over manual control of what is usually an automatic function, right?

Well, you see, I have a hard time turning the autopilot back on, and I find I can’t stop focusing on my breathing, and then comes the frightening thought, if I cannot turn the autopilot back on, I am going to have to think about every breath I take, for the rest of my life, which I figure would be pretty distracting, and tiring, too, and also, I might forget to breathe, and stop.

So I don’t like thinking about breathing, shit, I am doing it now.

@Prommie: You know when you’re reading something and all of a sudden you realize that you’re reading it aloud in your head as you go along and you panic and wonder when it’ll stop so you can go back to reading normally? No, just me?

@Prommie: Hey — this. You.

ADD: No, no, no. this.

ARGH! Nojo, the stupid edit box won’t let me change my HTML to include target=”_blank”

Boo!

@mellbell: Um, everyone doesn’t read everything aloud in their head? Just me? Now I’ll obsess over this. Good to have a focus for the day, though.

@Mistress Cynica: Perhaps it’s more a question of my awareness of it. When I become aware of it, I don’t know how to ignore it.

@Prommie: Don’t think of an elephant!

@Mistress Cynica: It’s okay as long as you don’t move your lips.

@mellbell: Yes! I have done this.

@JNOV: I have seen, I have seen, these are the precise sort of things I have been doing at physical therapy for two weeks now, 3 times a week.

@mellbell: Can you hear your own pulse in your ear at night if you sleep on your side with your ear on the pillow?