Back to the Usual Insanity!

Fox never fails to disappoint:

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And when all else fails, blame Obama.

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Too late. You can’t unring the bell struck by the cat as he escaped the bag to follow the horse out of the barn. It’s like Ronald Fucking Reagan calling himself a citizen of the world, a concept Newtie shat on yesterday. Fact is, a Fox guy called out the Nutzies. Hopefully more people will actually read the DHS report now, which does not say that vets will kill us all in a wave of homegrown terrorizm.

Wait: the terrorscroll said that the N.Y. Times is selling its 17.5% share of the Boston Red Sox. That’s not stupid at all — the buyer would get it at a firesale price, and not have to worry about crushing debt. More money, then, for signing new talent to replace Wakefield et al. That’s great news!

It’s your anti-Boston bias that has led to the criticism of Fox News here. Shaaaaaame.

In local news: Jamie Sommers has staged a W——e incursion, coming after Newell’s divine banhammer / self-righteous screed against libs v Fox News.

[Link through to the unmentionable site here.]

@redmanlaw: That asshat actually made a compelling (if asshatish) case for the point of the DHS report: the temperature is rising out there among both extremes, so be on alert. The returning vets thing was just a crumb that these plastic fantastic infotainment whores keep passing back and forth to each other.

@chicago bureau: Wakefield :: ex-Pirate.

@chicago bureau: I’m going in after her; we don’t leave ours behind.

@chicago bureau:

Ooh, don’t poke them. They have this “warblog” thing going on and they’ll come over here and post the word “trucknutz” all over the place, and just generally act like jackassery is equal to brilliance. It’s not that we can’t handle them, it’s just that most of them are completely unfunny and it would be a real snooze-fest if we had to put up with them.

@Nabisco: John Rambo was also a lone operator. She’ll be fine, and will burn a couple of bases on the way out.

How long before Shep Smith is fired and moves to

@redmanlaw: I, um, encountered a thicket of jungle undergrowth and forgot my machete. She seemed to have staged a rapid incursion, what we call a get-n-go, and the trucknuttery continued apace. Manchu stands tall over there, giving and taking in equal measure /*sniffs*

@homo limeyensis: Was Shep the reporter who got arrested in Central Park a few months ago tweaking and cruising for blowjobs?

@chicago bureau: Hard to decide which is worse: the poorly written, third-grade-level-snark post, or the dittohead comments. Apparently Layme’s douchebaggery is contagious.

@SanFranLefty: Are you thinking of Richard Quest, from CNN? I used to love him when he was on BBC international, early 00s, but he always gave off a tweaker vibe.

@Mistress Cynica: I think ’twas one of us that killed that post. Who’s “Giraldo”, anyway?

@Nabisco: Yes, all of those white men on teevee look the same to me.

/oooh, Sotomayor-style racism here!

I’m ashamed that I was a fan and read most if not all of Ralph Peters (the Naderesque asshole in the first vid) novels.

He was a bit pompous, but they were rather well thought out.

Too bad he’s actually like the villains in his novels.

This guy is making it very difficult to abide by Godwin’s Law:

Von Brunn applied to have his art shown at the Troika Gallery in Easton, Md., around the time the gallery opened about 12 years ago, two of the owners, Laura Era and Jennifer Wharton, told The Associated Press. They said they turned him down because it was not up to their quality and that made Von Brunn angry.

“He stomped out,” Wharton said. “You don’t normally get that reaction from artists.”

They say his work was not strange or violent, but the artists they show have many years of professional experience.

@chicago bureau: It’s permitted to say “Wonkette” in these precincts, just as “Cynics Party” is no longer being Voldemorted. We’ve been away long enough. And I did try to start a wan fratboy feud with them, after all.

Speaking of which:

If there is one thing to count on when a lunatic shoots someone due to lunacy

Ummm, Jim? You posted that at 4:35 ET, long after the lone lunatic’s connections to other lone lunatics started emerging? See, this is why I’ve never liked “snark,” which I define as uninformed snickering. Ana Marie knew what she was talking about.

Oh, and if they want to warblog us, door’s open! I promise my tolerance will last as long as my amusement.

I gotta threadjack, the local paper did ran the story on the deli today, go to Facebook, stinquers, check it out.

Its not all happiness in deli land, its a sad day too, for reasons I cannot make public here.

@nojo: The moon is 90 percent full in a waning gibbous phase tonight.

@nojo: I wonder how long their domain name registration lasts. CP, that is.

@rptrcub: At least through next January. It auto-renewed last January.

And how do I know? Because I was checking it every damn day, waiting for it to expire. I am a bad, bad geek.

@nojo: David Denby, in his rather self-righteous book “Snark,” cites Wonkette by name as an example of the worst kind of snark, smug frat-boy sneering by the mediocre. He also devotes a whole chapter to Maureen Dowd, as an example of talent wasted on snark out of sheer laziness. Which must have made things a bit awkward around the NY Times office.

@redmanlaw: I have an early album by Waning Gibbous. Hard to read the black-on-black liner notes, however.

@Mistress Cynica: There is a lot of wannabe snark out there on the interwebs, but to me, its not snark by definition if its sneering by the mediocre. Real snark is sneering by the superior.

Now here is the problem with the ability of people to discern the difference between sophomoric sneering by the mediocre, and really amusing and deserved sneering by the superior.

This observation stems from a remark made to me by a relative who is not an intellectual, who has no academic credentials, but is no dummy. He once observed to me “if you are smarter than me, I have no way on earth of knowing if you are just one little bit smarter than me, or if you are as smart as einstein. Both of you are beyond me, I cannot tell the difference.”

Think about it. Its impossible to gauge relative intelligence, from below.

In a subtle way, I think this is displayed in Denby’s opinions on snark. Put simply, if you are stupid, and immune to wit, you simply cannot, you don’t have the ability, to judge the merits of the ridicule those who are smarter than you hurl at your stupidity.

Wit is impenetrable to those who are not witty, is one way of putting it.

Denby is like Jimbo Jones, of the Simpsons, who, when a female character hit him with a sophisticated and intelligent put-down, could only say “this chick’s messing with my mind.”

@redmanlaw: An impressive writeup.
@Promnight: Would you deign to send me your favorite chowder recipe? It’s a culinary mountain I’ve yet to climb.

@chicago bureau: Jimmy didn’t even notice I came after him.

So in a desperate ploy for attention, I called them all Jezzies.

@Jamie Sommers: /wipes blood off combat knife, pulls out whetstone . . .

@blogenfreude: Red or white? I love both, but most people love white. Its a simple recipe, but hard for people to get the texture down.

Can you work with a roux?

Here it is:

1 56 ounce can of chopped clams, Snow brand, they are really very good.
1 dozen “chowder” size quahog clams.
4 or 5 baking potatoes
3 or 4 white onions
I like the potatoes and onions diced kinda large, but regular, uniform in size, I am anal about the size and shape of diced vegetables in various dishes, in this one, a half inch dice is probably just a bit small, maybe 9/16ths, I am careful to make rhombuses, not cubes, I just like the look better.

2 ounces salt pork, diced, say 1/4 inch dice
2 sticks of butter
1/4 cup flour
salt and pepper, you just have to know how much
whipping cream
half and half, maybe.

Step one: clean the quahogs thoroughly, then steam them in a large pot with a little water, at most a cup. This is simple, just put over high heat and boil until they all open. Remove the pot from the heat and set aside to cool.

Step two: melt a stick of butter in a large saute pan, mine is 2 feet across, but I make double this recipe at a time. The biggest pan you have may be a large stockpot, thats alright too, but it has to be big enough that when you put the onions and potatoes in, they are not piled deep, an inch at most. The pan must have a thick bottom, or else everything will just scorch.

step 3 when the butter is melted, put in the diced salt pork and gently brown it, do not raise the heat high enough to burn the butter.

When the salt pork is lightly browned, add the potatoes, and gently saute them, after a few minutes, add the onions, and continue, gently, you don’t want to produce any kind of a brown crust, just cook them but at the same time, you don’t want to just be steaming them in their liquid either.

I think this is the essential reason my chowder has a good texture, the potatoes and onions are not boiled, they are sauteed gently, till almost done, in butter, before any liquid is added.

Add some salt and black pepper, black pepper is seriously required as an undertone to this dish; some will insist that because this is a white dish, you must use white pepper, but I say pah, the clams have enough specks of dark, and white pepper has an acrid flavor, and less heat.

Step 4, add the canned clams and their juice, and add all the clam juice in the pot you steamed the quahogs in. Take the quahogs out of their shells, dice them fine, and add them too. Simmer this gently.

Now, at this point, its really a finished soup, but its not very white, and if you treated the potatoes just right, the starch from the potatoes will have thickened it a bit, but most people like thicker, so now we have to make a roux to thicken it.

Melt the other stick of butter in a saute pan, add the flour, and gently cook the flour, a classic white roux.

Now the rule is, to thicken a sauce or soup with roux, you must add the hot liquid to the roux, not the other way round. So, what I do is, strain a good quantity of the liquid out of the chowder, and keep it hot, when the roux is ready, add it gradually, whipping with a whisk constantly, until you have a quite thick clam veloute, then you can add this back into the rest of the chowder, and whisk it in, until you have gently thickened the chowder, but don’t beat the potatoes and onions to pieces while doing this.

Finally, stir in heavy cream, to be honest, I don’t know the amount, I know it when I have added enough. You can also use half and half, or half heavy cream and half half and half.

It will look right when its right.

Add salt and black pepper until it tastes just right.

I am seriously anal about each step, each adds something to the texture and flavor, from the size of the dice, to cooking the potatoes and onions in butter, rather than just boiling them in the stock, to the very complicated method I use to thicken it with roux.

I use very few ingredients, its the care in the preparation, that I think makes my chowder, truly, better than most.

I deeply love getting food just perfect, the texture, the visual impact of the dice size and shape.

I love making it perfect, and then sharing it with those who can tell the difference.

Or you can come by and I will load you up with it.

I should add, my amounts may be all off, I adjust it by eye.


Hey, Congrats on the writeup, Prommie!

Still no Tommmcatt Salad, I note, however…

@Promnight: The recipe and the obvious care that goes into the preparation: awesome.

@Jamie Sommers:

He’s gotten a bit self-important…my tweaking of which got me banned. No great loss, I have to say. Really just something to do between meeting so that you all didn’t get sick of me.

I think he thinks he’s actually a journalist instead of a satirist, which is kinda dulling his satire. Also his commenters tend to praise him even when he’s lazy, which, of course, makes him lazier. Still funny, but I wonder if anyone would read him if he had had to earn his readership like Anna Marie did.

I am done with it. Farewell, Wonkette, we hardly knew ye…

@Promnight: Reading that article makes me so happy for you and your customers. This is a truly amazing thing you’ve done.

@mellbell: I have not done it yet. Its like golf, most people of even average ability, they hit a tiger-like shot once in 18 holes. Thats why even average golfers are so in love with the game, every now and then, for a few holes, they can hit it like the pros.

Now I have to make sure everyone who eats anything I make, is getting the level of quality I so love to give to people. Thats the hard part, consistency. No wilted lettuce on any salad, no overcooked chicken, no over-salted salsas.

You have to be an insane perfectionist to do food right. I am that, but I have to be that all the time, every time. I hope I can do it.

But I am gonna try my best.

@Promnight: Congratulations!! I am so proud of you and Mrs. Prom.

@Promnight: The story kicked ass! If the paper has color photography, invite the photogs over to shoot food porno for follow-up coverage. When are you going to start offering Prom Night Dumpster Baby’s Cannibal Anarchy Breakfast Smoothies?


@Tommmcatt doesn’t mind if he doesn’t make the scene: I wonder if anyone would read him if he had had to earn his readership like Ana Marie did

No, of course not. Gawker Media was built upon the talents of its early writers.

Which isn’t necessarily a knock against Jim. The knock is that somebody gave him the keys to the car, and he thinks he bought it.

@Promnight: Thanks – and I have enough French cooking under my belt to do a convincing roux.

@Promnight: Very nice story. No more than you deserve. Wish I could say I tasted the chowder. I didn’t because of the pork, dontcha know.


Yes you must be a perfectionist, but when I was in that industry (long, long ago) food cost was the real watchword.


Great. Now that I read your recipe, I am absolutely starving…

and I don’t live in Cali!!

Uhh, New Jersey. Long Beach Island, NJ.

Got it.

@RZ: Long Beach, California, you don’t want to eat anything there.

@Dodgerblue: True that, but one nice thing to say is that Long Beach has my favorite airport in LA County. Super quick to get in through security or to grab your bags and rental car and get out of there, and it has a decidedly retro Central American banana republic feel to it.

@SanFranLefty: Including the sweaty waiting rooms. But yes, I don’t mind the drive there because it’s so fast in and out, and I like Jet Blue.

@Promnight: LBI REPRESENT! When I come home this summer, I’m gonna make my parents come with me to taste the delicacies of Island Fusion!! SO PROUD of you guys.

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